There is Never enough Time

I can see the catch 22 Retirement thing

I am afraid its going to be a tussle for the couch - me cleaning under and him lying on top!! He had me seriously worried yesterday - but I can tell you now, if they offer him a good package that will cover our ideal pension - he will take it, my only fear is that he will retire from work AND LIFE!

@sugartoes he does fish and play golf, but of late has been a little off the things. he has NO craft skills at all, not even gardening.

@sugartoes very clever ideas and luckily he likes birding as well -- thank you, not sure if they sell coffee in cans in SA anymore, its more that plastic containers and glass jars

I am hoping we have some of that as well.

@Inlemay that's true, ya most "retired" people really become "freelancers" if you like

Well I will still work and do the sewing for the ballet school until I cannot anymore, because making tutu's is not an everyperson job. my hubby will be able to do some bob-a-job with electrical maintenance for people in the area to keep his busy - that is if he wants to

@Drosophila thats a nice word for a retired person

@Inlemay yes ma'am, i can truly relate! this'un here'll accuse me'f changin' the channel, coz when he awakens 'nother program's on, lol. i rarely watch t.v. myself, sit down'n the livin' room with him to humor him't times. 'soon's he's snorin', i get'p 'n go tend to other schtuff. i hear ya'n re-evaluatin' the savin's. jest to make sure we've 'nough to cover their retirement!

@crazyhorseladycx the snoring is the pitts! Our pension plan is on good par with a good retirement luckily so if he chooses to lie on the couch and use the remote and snore I'll be out in the countryside playing bowls

How do they do that Sleeping while watching TV, when i change the channel he says - "I'm watching" who watching with their eyes shut!! really - Thank goodness you can relate. My savings looks like it might turn into bail money in three years time - eeeeeeeek

Oh I cannot even have a stressfree week-end - he is very demanding when he is home and doesnt like any of the household things to be done.

@JudyEv No maid ever, cooking i dont mind. but we will have to do some reshuffling of who's doing what

@Inlemay Sounds like there may need to be some compromises made unless he is going to get you a maid and a cook. :)

@Inlemay I hope that you can change his attitude to more of a "let's see how long I can live" one, at least. The problem is that one does tend to look critically at the ages of relatives and become fixated on them, especially if one's mother makes some categorical statement like that (few men's mothers are wrong, in their eyes!). Actually, the biggest problem with retirement is when people don't look ahead and set goals of all the things they want to do in their 'spare time'. It is the single-minded workaholic kind of person who has no interests much outside work who tends to find retirement daunting, even very frightening to the point that a few people actually 'die of boredom' in a few years after retiring. I believe, too, that some people get into such a feeling of 'well, I'm no longer of much use to anyone now I'm retired' that they pine away. Collect and feed him with stories of people whose success has come in later life or of people who have embarked on a course and have gone on to win honours in a subject which they never had time for before. It's a very good idea to sit down and plan for retirement. The skills one has acquired in one's working life are not wasted or redundant - they can very often be adapted to something worthwhile or used to train others and, if one's retirement income is sufficient, can be offered free to charitable causes - a way of 'giving back' which many people don't think of doing.

@owlwings oh how wonderful you have given me so much hope and so much to put into place. I shall heed all your advice and I have copied your response to my email, so that I can read if for support every now and then when i feel the need. I started to play bowls to encourage him to form a new OUR AGE friend group, which he has yet to explore as he finds the game and the retired or playing people boring. Thank YOU for taking the time to give such good advice. xx

I admire people who embrace retirement with no fuss - Not until my hubby turned 50 did I realize that he had a morbidity in him about aging. He was waiting to die at 50 - for two years because his mother had said that no men in the family ever lived passed 50 (which by the way, they didnt) however he has proved them wrong. So at 53 he got back on the horse and started again, I fear that the retirement age has just become very real to him turning 57 a week ago, and I hope I am not in for a 2 year run of (waiting to die) kind of mood. ha ha ha I might send him to Timbuktu Thank you for your valuable response.

@Inlemay my recommendation is do it, and who knows what will happen! My brother in law did it, and now works part time at a job he never considered before. I did it, and continue to teach part time. There re many options. Health is more important than continuing if that's how he feels. Money is secondary.

We wont have any financial issues, that is clear, however he seems to be tired, maybe the routine of nearly 40 years at the same place.

@valmnz thank you

@Inlemay Good luck to you both Lany.

I probably will go a little more crazy than I am now - I hope he is ready for it! ha ha

@Inlemay time for an extra day off, maybe a nice relaxing 4 day weekend?

He is not unhappy - just tired I think, frustrated, pessimistic, afraid

thank you so much - you have given me much food for thought - I wish i could get rid of the TV now already

I shall do that - I am busy with many charities and my bowls, so i wont be under his feet much, I just dont want him to feel unwanted - or lost. I am hoping the analysts give him one of those skilled worker positions in a temporary capacity - but time will tell.

@DianneN

@Inlemay I'm sure everything will work out well.

thats wonderful - I hope we find such blessings in retirement later

Where are you going if you are closing your home on Wednesday?

I hear that, I am afraid my hubby might think that of me - I always say to him - side by side, not either one in front of the other, side by side.