Is it OK that sometimes you just can't be bothered?
May 24, 2016 6:47am CST
A group of my old university class mates are getting together this weekend for a geology society dinner in Oxford. Two of my class mates are married and live in New Zealand and they suggested to try to get lots of us together as they're in the UK for the first time in many years. I originally said I'd go but I didn't book the dinner – I just had a funny feeling that when the time came, I might want to back out. I went to a one-day gathering with the same group a couple of years back. A pleasant time was had by all but I can't say it was 'life-changing'. I worked out that for this dinner I'd have to pay about £120 for a room (or half that to stay in a college room which would be unpleasant more than nostalgic) plus £40 for the dinner and a load more on drinks, no doubt. With a holiday coming up less than a week later, I decided I really did have better things to spend my money on. And if I was honest, there's only one person in the group with whom I'm in regular contact and the rest disappear into the ether after each event. As for the ones from New Zealand, I haven't heard from them in many years and I'm sure they won't miss me. Yesterday I mailed the group to say I wouldn't be able to make it. In an entirely uncharacteristic way, I didn't say why – don't apologise, don't explain. Not like me at all. 24 hours later, no comment from anybody. So I figure that nobody really cared if I was there or not – and I've got an extra couple of hundred pounds to spend on my holiday with my husband who DOES care if I'm there or not. I didn't have an excuse and I didn't make one up - I just couldn't be bothered to go. I'm coming to realise that there's a limit to how much nostalgia I can take. We had fantastic time 2 weeks ago at a friend's 50th birthday party, seeing lots of old friends from many years ago but last week I had an invitation to an old sports association (I didn't go) and this week I had the geology event. I think one event in a month is enough for me. Actually one a year is probably enough.
6 people like this
24 May 16
@boiboing I've done the same. I had a reunion the other day in London, while I was in the UK, I just wrote to the group, "not going to be able to make it. without offering a reason why". I think that's better than BSing tbh. Like you said, no one lamented on our absences anyway. The past is the past, I realised I treasured it less the more I mingled with the old acquiescences.