Love for the second time around

Philippines
June 5, 2016 7:20pm CST
If you read my previous discussions here, I broke up with my partner for being so controlling and other reasons. And for the past weeks or almost a month now, I felt the convictions in me that I'm condemning and blaming him a lot for so many things despite of admitting and feeling sorry of what he did to me. When we broke up, I saw the tremendous change in him. At first, I said to him he's doing that because of course he wants me back. And me, kept on pushing him apart from me and telling him that he will not change or it's just a show or whatever. I told him that he's ok because everything was planned according and in favor of him. Me not included. I'm not me anymore. But, these past few days I realized I became too hard for him. I loved him and still does. So I asked myself why am I doing this . I know I can't turn back time and can't redo a lot of choices. But I'm pretty sure I can move on and do something better. Just like yesterday, we went to shop together to buy school supplies that we will distribute for the children of the mountains we used to hike together, a specific tribe we both help since we're in college. And I felt how much I miss him and how much I love him. At first, I thought we will end up parting again fighting. When we talked about work. Yes we fought of course, the discussion is history and I feel like I'm really am broken and lost. I remember all the things said and done. I feel the emotions I am trying to conquer. But, unlike before, he encouraged me to be a better person. Not just for him but for me as well. His words changed. He admitted things he used to deny. And it melts my heart. So later that evening, as we parted, I kissed him good bye. And texted him that though everything is not ok, I want us to be partners again, just help me to cope up from stress and brokenness. He was so happy. I felt some relief, because I'm guilty of not forgiving him, for thinking that he will never change and for judging and predicting that he will always be the same. I just pray that things will work well this time. I know there will be a lot of things ahead of us. Just like what he's saying, maybe that is one of the many tests that we need to endure. We both need to change. Not just him but me also. Is it true that love is sweeter the second time around? I really hope so.
3 people like this
4 responses
@trivia79 (7945)
• El Segundo, California
6 Jun 16
i don't know. i haven't experienced that yet. how long are you been together before the first break up?
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Just one year of being a couple. Though we've been good friends for almost 8 years now.
1 person likes this
@trivia79 (7945)
• El Segundo, California
6 Jun 16
@zaga_cleuth hope you two deserves a second chance of each other, just like in the movie of loydie and sarah g.
• Philippines
7 Jun 16
@trivia79 ha ha.. i'v seen that movie. I'm hoping so that he will really change.
1 person likes this
@stephjoy (762)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
yes i do believe in love is sweeter the second time around. i hope everythings ok with you both and stay in love and respect
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
Yes. I'm praying for that too. I know that will strengthen our relationship. Have you experienced the same thing?
@stephjoy (762)
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@zaga_cleuth no i don't have experienced that..coz when i break up with my ex. after a month i had a new bf.. heheh
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
@stephjoy Oops it's you who fall out of love then?
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1340)
• Manila, Philippines
6 Jun 16
If we put it in a rational thinking, it might be. 1- You know who you are dealing with, because you have been with him once 2- You know what didn't work the first time, so you know how to avoid it 3- You are going back because of your feelings, not because you want to please him 4- You are willing to forgive and make some amendments. 5- None of you went for another partner during the breakup period, meaning the attachment is still there If I look at it from this perspective, I think you guys can experience something much better this time. Just roll the dice, go with the flow, and put one foot in front of the other one. Goodluck
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
Thanks so much buddy. And yes, I'm trying to do no. 4. It's one of the hardest thing to do actually. And I keep on telling him to help me to go through it because I feel like I'm on a trauma or something.
1 person likes this
@chris2050 (1340)
• Manila, Philippines
9 Jun 16
@zaga_cleuth You are welcome. About no. 4, I know what you mean, specially if things couldn't work the first time, and it wasn't your fault. It's hard, but it's not impossible, you guys can do it together.You know what we say in English: "if you want to do it, you will find a way"
• Philippines
6 Jun 16
I hope now he can be a better man than he was before. It's rare that people gets a second chance and a total risk on your part. good luck with the both of you and I hope you could settle what ever flaws you have and improve for each other.
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
Yes I'm praying. But there is still a part of me that is living in the past. If this feeling won't go I might have fall out of love.