what do you say to a dying man?

@amadeo (73344)
United States
June 9, 2016 3:31pm CST
Good afternoon.Yes,what do you say to a dying man. If you ever saw tears from my eyes,as I looked at this person that we have play tennis and learned so much from him. His name is Tom a strapping person that cancer has eaten away. I could not recognize him.He saw the tears as he squeeze my hand Knowing that he was glad to see us.We only could stay a few minutes. As he was very tired and sleepy.I think that he is ready to go. Do not see any fight in him to hang on. God this is so terrible as I had to leave and sat in the car.Weeping. Yes,weeping.Mike stayed with the wife to comfort her. But she was happy that we came. This was my first to see a dying person and hope the last.
20 people like this
19 responses
@puddleglum (1415)
• United States
9 Jun 16
I am sorry that you have experienced such a painful situation. I have been at the bedside of a few of my relatives when they were close to dying, and I used to volunteer with the chaplain's office at a hospital. It sounds like you and Mike did what you needed by being there for your friend and his wife. People approach the end of their lives in different ways, and so do those who stand by and watch. I try to let their behavior guide mine, if that makes sense. It sounds like he's making peace, and that's the important thing.
2 people like this
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@puddleglum .Yes,he is.He is knowing that the days are near.
2 people like this
@TRBRocks420 (82777)
• Banks, Oregon
9 Jun 16
It's about the saddest thing anyone can experience, but just let them know they are loved and, will always be remembered.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@TRBRocks420 yes,that is all about we can do.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (82777)
• Banks, Oregon
9 Jun 16
@amadeo That and, pray of course.
@Juliaacv (33327)
• Canada
9 Jun 16
I'm so sorry for you, this is so hard. I'm sure that you and Mike being there today made him feel better. The day before my Dad passed away, a neighbour's son, who we raised until he was 7 years old, stopped in to see my Dad. He thought that my Dad was asleep, and before he left, he told my Dad how much he meant to him and that he didn't know if he'd be able to see him again in this life, but that he loved him. Shortly after that, he got up to leave, and he told us that my Dad said, I love you too Blake. He said that he cried all of the way home, my Dad passed away peacefully in less then 24 hours from that visit.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@Juliaacv that is so sad but an inspiring story there.How nice that things worked out well with that boy. thank you for sharing this.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33327)
• Canada
9 Jun 16
@amadeo You're welcome, I hope that it brings you some comfort. And that boy, he was a 37 year old man at the time. But its something that he'll have forever.
@bunnybon7 (37425)
• Holiday, Florida
9 Jun 16
mine was my hubby. I just told him how much I loved him and eventually he wasn't even lucid. I kept telling him I would see him in heaven and I would be okay until I got there cause he had told his daughter to look after me. it was quite terrible and hope I never see it again. I will likely see him before long. I feel that most days
1 person likes this
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@bunnybon7 I can see the feelings there.
@teamfreak16 (41406)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
9 Jun 16
I would have no idea what to say. I'm just not very good at it.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@tearmfreak16 same here Scott.I am not very good at this also
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (69951)
• Roseburg, Oregon
10 Jun 16
There is not much you can say but you can be there for that person and support the family which you did.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (134912)
• Bunbury, Australia
9 Jun 16
That is very sad. Although it is really hard to do it is important to try to visit dying friends. I'm sure he appreciated your visit.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (46290)
• United States
9 Jun 16
I'm sorry that the visit was so hard on you but it was a wonderful thing that you did visiting your friend.
1 person likes this
@just4him (127235)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Jun 16
It's so sad. Both my parents recently passed. When I went to see them they were asleep. I don't know what I would have said otherwise, other than I love you, which I did say to them.
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@just4hin He was able to converse with us.But in a weak voice.
1 person likes this
@just4him (127235)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
9 Jun 16
@amadeo It is so sad. I can feel your emotions.
@miniam (9233)
• Bern, Switzerland
10 Jun 16
Im sorry you had such an experience.But it was sure the right thing to do.
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
10 Jun 16
@miniam.Yes,it was quite an experience.I am glad that we have seen him.
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jun 16
That is so sad that your tennis friend is dying. It must be terrible for his family too
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@Marilynda yes,very hard.He just had his first grandchild a couple of years ago.
@Lucky15 (33698)
• Philippines
9 Jun 16
I have seen both my parents dying. And one of the hardest.
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@Lucky15 I can imagine know the feeling on this.Bot of mine are gone.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (116270)
• United States
9 Jun 16
It is a wrenching experience to be in the company of someone who is dying. Just our presence is sufficient. My sister and I spent hour after hour after hour when our mom was dying. Wish dying were not such a hard struggle.
@amadeo (73344)
• United States
9 Jun 16
@Corbin5 yes it is a wrenching experience.I am hoping to visit again soon
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30319)
• Momence, Illinois
15 Jun 16
Not much you can say, just that you love him. I saw my father die and it was the hardest part of my life. We all die but it's never easy.
@marlina (78025)
• Canada
10 Jun 16
So sorry Alfredo that you had to go through this but glad that you saw your friend. He must have been very happy to see you.
@ronc510 (466)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
This is so sad! I don't know what to say to a dying person
@divinebee (264)
10 Jun 16
So sorry to hear this.. May his soul rest in peace..
@Tampa_girl7 (26219)
• United States
10 Jun 16
So sorry. May God be with you and your friend and give you comfort.
@marguicha (102278)
• Chile
9 Jun 16
I have had dying loved ones and thereĀ“s nothing you can say. This is the time when a hug or even your eyes say much more than words