How long approximately according to you?

@chris2050 (1335)
Manila, Philippines
June 9, 2016 5:51pm CST
Two people are in a relationship, all is going well, they like each other, and they are attracted to each other. But sometimes, it happen that, when the Man start talking about the marriage, the woman says it's too soon. In some other instances, it's the Man who is not going for the wedding matter, the woman keep waiting since she can't be the one proposing (except in India, where I was told, she can legally do that), and when you ask the Man what is the problem, he reply: "It's not yet the time", "It's too soon" In your experience, if everything is going well in a relationship (I know no relationship is perfect), how long do you think the couple should wait before getting married? When do you think the engagement period should last?
6 people like this
7 responses
@jaboUK (54517)
• United Kingdom
9 Jun 16
I think it's a mistake to get married too quickly. You need to get to know each other properly, and though each case is different, I would say at least a year. My husband and I married just over 2 years after we met, and next week we will have been married for 51 years.
4 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
Wow!!! 51 years, more than half a Century. I guess you guys went through a lot, and still managed to stay together. Congratulations. And Thanks for your opinion
2 people like this
@jaboUK (54517)
• United Kingdom
10 Jun 16
@chris2050 I've been very lucky - I chose well when it came to getting married
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
@jaboUK How I wish God could have make it easier for me, or I could had chosen someone right. I am less than 35 years old, i got already divorce once, lost my second partner, and trying to handle a third marriage. Day after day, I am wondering if I am meeting wrong people, or if the problem is me...
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (51728)
• Philippines
10 Jun 16
I think it's not really how long the two are in a relationship, it's how deep the relationship is. I married my best friend. We were friends for many years before we realised we were falling for each other. So we started dating for 3 years and then got married. But we already know much about each other because we were already friends before that and our relationship was so deep.
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
But you don't think two people can know each other well for bout a year or two, then decide to get married? Or maybe, they can view their relationship as deep after less than a year? My first wife was my best friend too, we we have been friends for almost 10 years, so I knew nobody better than her, but only 4 years after our marriage, we got divorced, it ended very badly
@toniganzon (51728)
• Philippines
11 Jun 16
@chris2050 There are people who don't really show their true colours until they're married and it's only then that they see how totally different they are.
2 people like this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
11 Jun 16
@toniganzon With that being said, I don't think we need to spend a long period trying to observe someone, and know better about him/her, because, as you said, the reality remain that, most people will let you see what they want. It's only after marriage that you will discover who they are, so why waste time, trying to figure out someone out of the marriage? We never know if that person is acting, or if he/she is being real. It's a mystery that only marriage will reveal
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
10 Jun 16
I was told before by my ex that we would marry, but told him after 3 years, then after 3 years instead of me other woman 20 years older than him so ridiculous KARMA.That was my ex I told in my story of first kiss.
1 person likes this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
So you were the one who suggested him to wait for 3 years?
1 person likes this
@cacay1 (33002)
• Cagayan De Oro, Philippines
10 Jun 16
@chris2050 Yes, because I have just become a regular faculty.
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
@cacay1 Hmmm I have to admit that, as a Man, I can wait a year, or a little bit more, but I am not sure about 3 years, it seems kind of long to me, that's more than 1000 days, it look like an eternity to me, but in the meantime, I can't married a woman who is even 5 years older than me. No way!!! In the relation, I must be elder in age. it has already been proven scientifically that woman think twice than man, she is more observant, more keen to details, and most of the times, more intelligent. Why will I go and married a woman who is 20 years older than me? I don't want to be judgmental, but I can't do that, she will always see you like a child, because that's what you are to her
• United States
10 Jun 16
I think there is no set time honestly. All depends on the people and their relationship. Some people marry really quick and spend a happy lifetime together, while others have been together a long time and have long engagements and still call it quits. Unfortunately no one knows the outcome of any relationship. You just have to give it your best shot and see what happens and do what you both want to do.
1 person likes this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
10 Jun 16
I kind of agree with you entirely. When it come to marriage, most of the times, I don't know which factors play best: Experience, luck, Grace of God, Finding to right person, Knowing each other better, spending much time together, etc... I am really confuse, so I kind of agree with you, there is not honestly a set of time
1 person likes this
@alienstar (5140)
• India
12 Jun 16
Most of the time it will be the women who will be in a hurry to get married. Probably they will think of their future too much and wants tp settle down once they cross 20 years. But i feel if two people are in relationship or already know each other , they might need 2-3 years before marriage to think of settling down and maybe men would be better off getting married around 30-33 age and women 27--30
@responsiveme (16755)
• India
12 Jun 16
Its a personal matter for every couple. Unfortunately there is no well established math formula.
@ria1606roy (2690)
• Kolkata, India
11 Jun 16
When the time is right for both of them, that is when they should get married. One may have to wait longer, but if he/she truly loves their other half, then they know the wait is worth it.