Smoker Psychology

June 10, 2016 8:15am CST
I am having a really hard time with this and I am asking for someone to try to explain it to me. My husband, a lifetime smoker, decided to quit smoking and trade to vaping. He has been off cigarettes for 2-1/2 years Yesterday he informed me he wanted to try cigarettes again. I am angry and disappointed because he was weaning down on vaping. I don't understand the obsession he has for this deadly habit. We were working on a healthier lifestyle. Please explain to me why the sudden change back? Why can some quit cold-turkey and others are never successful. I am not judging anyone, I am just trying to understand. Please help...
12 people like this
8 responses
@shshiju (10465)
• Cochin, India
10 Jun 16
May be some friends offered or tempted him. Only a strong decision from his side can change the scene. Don't argue or scream with him try to tell him the negative and health problems of smoking with love.
1 person likes this
10 Jun 16
I tried every psychological thing I can think of, and I have lost. It kills me to see him cut our life together short. I will still tell him I don't approve, but I will never be able to stop him. I think a lobotomy is in order here :-)
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@shshiju (10465)
• Cochin, India
11 Jun 16
@WriterGirl44 If he had some interest in stopping the habit. Definitely there is a solution. Lobotomy is too much.
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11 Jun 16
@shshiju I agree a lobotomy is too much. I am just hoping he chooses a healthier lifestyle someday! No matter what, I will be there for him :-)
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@shubhu3 (27958)
• New Delhi, India
10 Jun 16
This happens.See your husband is addicted to smoking and when a person is addicted to this substance it becomes a dependence that means that when he stops smoking and everything is going fine,then when he encounters somebody smoking and feels like smoking and is like that I'll not smoke much and stuff then once he start smoking he will get into the trap of smoking again.It is like the body chemistry of a smoker gets completely altered once he has become a smoker.Nicotine has much adverse effects than we think they have. It's very important to control it.I will suggest you to seriously look for a psychiatrist and a psychologist.Trust me they will help him a lot but remember one important thing"Once he will be treated and alright don't let him lit or try even a single cigratte else the dependence will come and he will again start smoking".
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12 Jun 16
Thanks Shubhu!
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@shubhu3 (27958)
• New Delhi, India
12 Jun 16
• United States
10 Jun 16
I have often heard that nicotine addiction is as strong as heroin addiction. The habit is extremely hard to break. Last week I watched as my husband reached for that pack of smokes and lit up every 10 to 15 minutes. I asked him if it bothered him to have something have such control over him that he can't stop. He told me to stop nagging. I told him the nagging would stop when he stops smoking.
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10 Jun 16
Thanks,for your comment. Is the first time I smiled since yesterday :-) He has cut down on nicotine to almost zero. My selfish fear is losing him to stroke or heart attack. I know no amount of my temper tantrums will change his mind. I guess I will learn to be a widow earlier than I wanted :-(
• United States
10 Jun 16
@WriterGirl44 you can't change those who really don't want to change. Live for yourself and you'll be happier.
@JudyEv (156700)
• Bunbury, Australia
17 Jun 16
I've never been a smoker - just never started but I love standing next to someone who is smoking. I think if I had become a smoker I would have found it hard to quit. I don't have any suggestions. My husband quit cold turkeywithout any problems so I guess he was one of the lucky ones. We have a friend who recovered from lung cancer, had given up smoking but then went back to it. It seems very difficult for some to quit.
1 person likes this
@piya84 (2587)
• India
13 Jun 16
He needs something else which creates excitement for brain. For now he is depending on ciggy for that" high". Playing sport or following hobby he is passionate about might create excitement he is missing now. Another reason could be stress.Try working on unresolved issues like money or marriage problems. My two cents. Speaking from experience.I was addicted once to something uneatable thing in past.
15 Jun 16
Thank you piya84, I thought of those things too. I will try looking to find the root of this problem. These are great ideas. I appreciate your input.
@jeanena (1858)
• Bucklin, Kansas
11 Jun 16
I sure wish I had an answer for you.I have been smoking for the most part of 40 years . I have kind of quit here and there from time to time , I know that sounds funny but that is kind of how it worked out. Quit for awhile and stress out over something and reach for the closest pack.Now I am trying once again to quit,I have been using the patches and have really cut down , but recently started Chantix.Because of my health if I can get stopped I wont ever go back again.
1 person likes this
11 Jun 16
Jodi, I see your struggle I have watched him for over 5 years. I know there is so much more to this thing than just a desire to quit. Good luck on your journey to stop I am rooting for you!
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@marlina (83468)
• Canada
10 Jun 16
I guess every person is different. My husband quit smoking cold turkey when he was in his early twenties. He had no problem at all.
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12 Jun 16
Great job for him Marlina. I was hoping this is how our story would go. It is amazing how the mind works. His said no forever and others say no until something else happens. The human brain is a fascinating thing.
10 Jun 16
Just do one thing seek help from professional who are associated with rehabilitation program. I can assure you that it will do some help.
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