How to Survive theTexas Heat by Using Iced Coffee

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Going to have me one of those birthday deals next week (or should I spell that as "next weak?"). Going to be 85-gazillion years old. I know that that is true. I feel like some kind of real old hamburger patty that was left atop the charcoal grill way too long. A birthday next week it shall be... Don't bother sticking any candles on the cake. The cake will be all gone before anyone has time to put a lighted match to any candles. Birthday gifts? I will make it easy on everyone. Just bring money. Anyway, so as to confirm to everyone that it is hot stuff around these parts - and we are not even in the hot part of Texas. I checked outdoor heat out the easy way. Opened the side window of the house wide enough to stick my head outside into the blazing sun for the recommended 37 seconds (scientific rules and all). No Zika skeeters out there yet, but, ZOWIE, that sun was doing a number on my nose after the first 28 seconds. All the same, I stuck it out there for the full 37. I verified that it was plenty hot today by using the mirror image method of checking out the high degree of redness to the nose. So, this evening, due to the house structure's storage of so much heat during the sunshine hours today, I decided to cool down with a nice big mug of iced coffee, The funny thing was that the only part of me that got itself cooled down from the icy-cold coffee was my belly. All of this fierce summertime heat made it so that the belly no longer has any living nerve cells and the like able to register "cold." But I do know that my middle got really nice and cold because of the white, icy frost that formed on my belt buckle. Yes. You can see that I plan to get to that birthday, fully temperature-controlled. * * * * * * * * * * Image source: Pixabay dot com. (Note: I would have taken a nice photo of my big mug of iced coffee, but I swallowed all of it and so I had to hit up Pixabay for one of their pix that looked much like my own cupful of that cool, cool stuff.)