My marriage life...
By UpbeatRae
@carebear29 (31961)
Wausau, Wisconsin
June 25, 2016 8:41pm CST
As you all know I have had marriage complications going on for years. Sad part is is neither of us want to leave each other. I know he lives a double love life and I do, too. (Please no bashing) I am careful on what I do and I don't think he is. He just told one of my friends the other day he has been cheating on me with one of my ex friends for a while now. I think he's afraid of losing me and doesn't know how to move on. His boys keep telling him if he didn't straighten out that I was packing up and leaving.
Mind you I have been trying to fix our marriage but it is slowly going downhill. I am going to do what is best for me and my son and find a job and get my own place and leave him then. I know it will be hard but it will be worth it. I love him and all but every time I talk to him, its in one ear and out the other.
I have been wanting to tell everyone here what was going on and now you all know. I love him to death but I am trying to get what I need done and boom, I am out. Every time he keeps telling me he's going to leave, I tell him there's the door. He is NOT physically abusive but he is emotionally and at times verbally. I know my plan and I have to stick to it. As soon as I do what I do, I will feel better. We did go through a 6 month separation before and it worked a little bit but things are just back the same way they are with him and I just seem happier without him.
He is a hoarder big time and I don't see him changing that at all and his lies are just getting worse. I know things could be worse but I was trying to make things better with him for the sake of our son. He got my other 2 taken away and adopted out (will tell you all some day in a post.) He is also very greedy and complains and argues with me a lot. And believe me, this post can go on but I am going to cut it short now. BTW, he won't even do marriage counselling. Oh well. His loss because he is pretty much losing me anyways now.
Sorry about this post. I don't want to see bashing or rudeness. Thanks for listening.
16 people like this
15 responses
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
Yes thank you. It is tough but I am trying
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (157551)
• United States
26 Jun 16
Maybe I am naive, but I would not expect people here to bash you, but rather to encourage you as a friend. You are living the life, you will have to do what what you must.
3 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
I have been bashed here before. Thats why I said it, plus its not allowed anyways.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 16
@carebear29 hon if you were bashed do report it as the admins does not]
want us to b ash each other.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Jun 16
If your both happier with other people/relationships you have then it would be a good idea for the sake of your son and everyone involved to move on with both your lives. I hope you get things together so you can move on and maybe one day find true happiness and love.
It's really sad that 2 of your children were taken away-I cannot imagine losing my children-my heart would feel as though it was ripped out of my chest! That's awful. =(
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
I am very very protective of Dean now. He already knows I will definitely leave if Social Services try to take him
2 people like this
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
27 Jun 16
@carebear29 I don't blame you at all, especially since your other 2 were taken. =(
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
Yes it is. I am working on my plan now
2 people like this
@yukimori (10144)
• United States
27 Jun 16
The last thing you need is to stay with him for the sake of your son, because that's what your son will grow up emulating.
It sounds like you're both checked out of the relationship. I'd probably arrange to consult an attorney in your area regarding custody, child support, and spousal support. The ducks may be closer to being in line than it seems if those things fall into place. At any rate, knowing what your rights and options are won't hurt, especially if you can get a free consultation with an attorney who specializes in family law.
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
25 Jul 16
I know. I am trying to get my life straight and then I am out.
@marguicha (215428)
• Chile
26 Jun 16
I am very sorry. All I can do is listening as I wouldn´t know what I would do if I were you. I have had other sorrows in my life, but not yours. A big hug!
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
I know it could be worse too. I am glad its not for me though
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
26 Jun 16
It's your life, your choice. I hope for the sake of your son and your own happiness that you make the final decision of leaving him.
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
No its not. He's been doing it longer than me now that I think about it
1 person likes this
@IvySaysHi (4467)
• United States
26 Jun 16
Honey you are doding the right thing in doing what is best for you and your son.
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
Thanks. I know others are going through the same thing.
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
I am. I am working on my plan now.
2 people like this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
25 Jul 16
I pray every day I can tell you that much. It is hard but I make it through
@jbaraka (252)
• Nairobi, Kenya
25 Jul 16
@carebear29 be patient with God. You might not know it but he is working out something behind the scenes. Though u need to change ur thinking and attitude. Every time u talking of divorce n how things aren't working this will just cancel the timeless time you been on your knees. Be positive n speak it.
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
Thanks. I am very strong. I agree. I hear it a lot.
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (6037)
• India
26 Jun 16
Even i was emotionally played by my ex, for 3 yrs but he always tried to make me feel guilty about all the wrong happened with our relationship.. i thought may be, someday he will understand my worth and work upon our relation.. but, it was like waiting for the shooting star to come across infront of you.. i understood after 3years.. and i know how it takes all your life to decide to move on.. what have you decided, stay on that. Don't victimise to any emotions. Good luck ahead for finding a good job :) !
1 person likes this
@carebear29 (31961)
• Wausau, Wisconsin
27 Jun 16
Yeah sounds like me. Always accusing me when its totally him
1 person likes this
@anya12adwi (6037)
• India
28 Jun 16
@carebear29 they take people for granted and accordingly play with their emotions
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
8 Aug 16
believe me I have nothing but compassion and sympathy for you and all you have been through'
you deserve a man who will love you and trust you and be there for you ands your son.
