Almost Arrested Again!

@TheHorse (62481)
Pleasant Hill, California
June 26, 2016 6:12pm CST
When I got home from my morning gig at the Farmers Market, my Parole Officer was standing on my balcony, staring at me with his arms crossed. His look reminded me of the nun who used to slap my right hand with a ruler when I played an F instead of an F# in Bach's Minuet in G. Then he gestured with his left hand, which had become skeletal, and draped in a black sleeve, like that of the ghost of Christmas yet to come in Dickens's A Christmas Carrol. I didn't have to look. In my haste to get to our morning gig, I had forgotten to water my balcony plants this morning. I didn't even need to take a picture. The photo you see just materialized on my desktop after he vaporized. That's right. He didn't walk through my screen door. He didn't jump from the balcony to my entrance way. He just became a black fog with glowing red eyes, and then was gone. I think he spared me because he knew that I could save the plants just by watering them, which I did. The sunken squash, troubled tomatoes, bent beans, crumpled corn, and failing flowers are all OK now. It's been two hours, and I'm going to take another picture (the regular way) before I post this. Water is good.
29 people like this
21 responses
@Corbin5 (100352)
• United States
26 Jun 16
Child labor, squirrel prejudice and plant neglect happen to be quite a host of things to be guilty of. Yep, one of these days, the slammer for you. We will visit.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
26 Jun 16
Can you bake German chocolate cake? It's my favorite. With a small file inside.
4 people like this
@akalinus (14611)
• United States
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse I'll send you some snickerdoodles. How would that be?
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (23552)
• Aurora, Missouri
4 Jul 16
@akalinus Are you planning to put a miniature file in one of them? Make sure the file isn't in the plate of cookies you hand to @TheHorse's guards, Jo Ann!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (119216)
• Bunbury, Australia
26 Jun 16
It's amazing what it can do to wilting plants - but they will have had a setback so don't go feeling too smug.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Oh dear. Do I need to appease them with some Miracle Gro Quick Start tomorrow?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Oh, and check the picture I attached to my reply to @amadeo's comment. Hah! I will attach my picture to this comment and allow you to imagine that face with a smug look.
4 people like this
@JudyEv (119216)
• Bunbury, Australia
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse Looking good! And that's just the plants!
3 people like this
@akalinus (14611)
• United States
27 Jun 16
Pot is the secret. Some of them need bigger pots. The roots want to spread out. Then they want water.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
A little pot and my plants seem bigger. Plus the colors are enhanced. Oh, wait. I mean--yes, I'm going to transplant my tomatoes and squash into bigger pots.
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (23552)
• Aurora, Missouri
27 Jun 16
2 people like this
@akalinus (14611)
• United States
27 Jun 16
@DaddyEvil Thanks for starting my day with a chuckle.
3 people like this
@Lucky15 (33427)
• Philippines
26 Jun 16
Uh oh... things have kept you busy and forgot.these. From that fruit to the gig. Lol
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
26 Jun 16
Yes, between cleaning up apricots and playing music in the 90 degree heat, I'm a bit pooped! Wait, after eating all those apricots, I should just say "tired."
5 people like this
@Lucky15 (33427)
• Philippines
26 Jun 16
@TheHorse it is not.the cleaning that makes.you tired. Haha
4 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
@Lucky15 What do you think made me tired? My morning ritual has been a delight, thanks to the apricots.
3 people like this
@amadeo (61976)
• United States
26 Jun 16
the plants should never or ever be neglect.Bad Boy
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
I do my best. They always seem to recover. And I'm not sacrificing any more to the Squirrel Gods. Here's what they looked like as of two hours after I made this post. I'll tell them it's tough love.
4 people like this
@DaddyEvil (23552)
• Aurora, Missouri
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse How do we know that isn't the "before" picture you took yesterday? HUH? LMFAO!
5 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (48525)
• Philippines
27 Jun 16
They look dehydrated.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
They were. Did you see the "after I watered" picture?
2 people like this
@toniganzon (48525)
• Philippines
28 Jun 16
@TheHorse Nope, not yet. Too busy couldn't be here as often as I want to.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
@toniganzon It's somewhere among the comments, but @DaddyEvil doubts its veracity.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (40553)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
27 Jun 16
Our neighbour's pea plants are already producing peas. And the corn has doubled in size.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Our corn at the preschool is going great. And I actually have a small ear developing on my balcony. Do you have any corn? Or will you get to share your neighbor's?
3 people like this
@teamfreak16 (40553)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse I think he'll share it, I have permission to eat peas, so the corn should be the same. I think he just likes to grow stuff.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
@teamfreak16 That's kind of like me. My "harvests" aren't big, but it's still fun to grow stuff.
2 people like this
@just4him (110361)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Jun 16
Whew that was close. I had the plant police standing in my kitchen a couple days ago. He gave me a warning. He knew about my black thumb and how hard it is for me to grow plants or even keep them looking healthy. However a good drink of water revived my peppermint plants and they are looking good once again.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
28 Jun 16
Just the right about of water is often the solution. Right now I see one of the Succulent Police lady staring at me, arms crossed, tapping her right foot. My jade looks like it may be getting a bit TOO MUCH sun. I'm going to put it near my front door (under the eaves) for a few days.
1 person likes this
@just4him (110361)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
4 Jul 16
@TheHorse Sounds like a good plan. I saved my plants again - whew!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (147987)
• Switzerland
27 Jun 16
Not again, you have neglected your plants again? I hope that the officer was not too rude and you can show that the plants have not suffered too much.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
Adversity breeds character! I don't want my plants to have entitlement issues.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (147987)
• Switzerland
5 Oct 16
@TheHorse I think to remember that your plants survived.
@celticeagle (117306)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jun 16
Water is good. It nourishes and brings things to life.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Including me. It was hot out there today.
3 people like this
@celticeagle (117306)
• Boise, Idaho
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse ....Gonna be hot the rest of the week here. Ugh!
2 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (47790)
• Centralia, Missouri
27 Jun 16
you need a battery powered mister on a timer, hehehe
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
That would be ideal. I'd set it for late at night. But I actually enjoy the process of watering. It makes me feel productive.
3 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
28 Jun 16
@TheHorse a bit soothing too
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Jun 16
If you need a reminder, try what I do, set an alert on you tablet, smart phone or computer.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Tablet? What's that? Like the aspirin I take in the morning? Heh. I do send myself emails.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
27 Jun 16
It does not take long for plants (humans too) to wilt in the heat.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
We were all wilting yesterday. OK, I already watered this morning.
3 people like this
@crossbones27 (18555)
• Redlands, California
27 Jun 16
I wish I could say the same with our plants.All our plants seem to die if they take a bad turn, unless it is some sort of desert plant. I need to learn your secret. Maybe I try to overcompensate and put to much water. We have also learned that many plants cannot be put in direct sunlight here because the sun is just to harsh. They actually need some kind of shade from an object or another plant.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
My plants get sunlight for about half the day, then the building protects them in the late afternoon. Is the soil nutritious enough? I start with good potting soil, and give them a party night of Miracle Gro Quick Start now and then.
2 people like this
• Redlands, California
27 Jun 16
@TheHorse We used miracle grow and it always starts off well, but once they start getting big past the pot they start to die. I am thinking maybe we should get some earthworms also.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
@crossbones27 I don't think there are any earthworms in my balcony plants, but they do help. When I transplant, I try to use Miracle Gro Quick Start (in solution with water). It seems to lessen transplant shock.
2 people like this
@DianneN (74670)
• United States
28 Jun 16
You should be arrested next time. Two close calls with the same offense should not be tolerated by the powers that be. Three strikes and you're out!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
I am contrite, but two sunflowers did make it to the preschool in Berkeley and one of them became a beauty!
1 person likes this
@vandana7 (62588)
• India
5 Oct 16
@TheHorse ..contrite..new word for me..thank you.
28 Jun 16
Whew that was close! Remember to water your dear dear plants on time in near future otherwise he may not spare you again.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
I can't forget those glowing eyes.
@responsiveme (14476)
• India
27 Jun 16
"High and dry in the long hot day Lost and lonely every day Got the flats all around me sky up above I need a little water of love"...Dire straits. Glad your veggies are OK now.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Ah, I have that album!
2 people like this
@suziecat7 (3399)
• Asheville, North Carolina
26 Jun 16
Ha ha - you had me going for a minute. I am sometimes guilty of plant neglect myself but I grovel and they forgive me.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
26 Jun 16
It's amazing how quickly they perk up after you water them. I think they've forgiven me.
2 people like this
@DaddyEvil (23552)
• Aurora, Missouri
27 Jun 16
SMH! I can't believe you did this again!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Jun 16
Thank goodness I wasn't out of town. oh no! What am I going to do when I DO go out of town?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
@DaddyEvil I was remorseful until I watered. The image of that ghoulish police person still haunts me.
1 person likes this
@DaddyEvil (23552)
• Aurora, Missouri
5 Oct 16
@TheHorse Oh, I totally believe you, pony! Your problem is that I am not the presiding judge. I am afraid he would be forced to take past behavior, present proof and possibly ask your little friend about your attitude towards plants.... When your little friend reports how you treat weeds in the wild, namely kicking them down and grinding them under your sole, the judge will NOT believe anything you tell him thereafter! WOW! It took you a few minutes to get a reply back to my comment, didn't it? Better late than never!
@ourlot (995)
4 Oct 16
When did the part with the nun take place? You claim a nun used to slap your right hand with a ruler. In what year was this still acceptable?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (62481)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Oct 16
I made that part up (the rest is all true, of course). But I think they still did it into the '60s or '70s. Perhaps others will weigh in on that.