What to do with this kind of people?

@royanne (372)
Philippines
July 6, 2016 2:27am CST
I had this friend, well I thought she was a friend. I felt like she didn't appreciate our friendship because there was this time when she got offended about our remark with regards to her work. The thing is we noticed she ignored us and then since we treated her as a friend we approached her and said sorry about the remark and since it was her birthday we even bought her cake. And then, she said something bad about one of our friends out of insecurity perhaps and started avoiding all of us. We tried to approach her a couple of times but it seems that her pride will not let her admit that she was wrong. I felt like she doesn't really appreciate the friendship that we gave her because instead of saying sorry about saying those stuff she is even saying that she did nothing wrong and that she will not be the one who should approach first. I just don't know what to do with her. I'm about to give up. I feel like she's the kind of person who isn't really worth to be a friend.
2 people like this
11 responses
@msabliss (27)
6 Jul 16
I offer my advice based on the assumption that this friend has not wronged you in any way in the past. In this case, it'd be prudent to let go of this recent wrong and maintain your friendship with this friend. You know, its not easy to find reliable friends nowadays.
2 people like this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
She has not wronged me in anyway but the way she treated my other friend is very wrong and that the basis of her anger is so shallow. I also feel that she doesn't appreciate our friendship bcoz she does not even listen to out advice.
1 person likes this
7 Jul 16
@royanne I see
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
8 Jul 16
In a given company, managers always appraise the performances of their subordinate every month, or every quarter. There are some errors that are made during these appraisal, some of them are the Leniency errors, the Halo effect, the Recency errors, the Central tender errors, and the similar to me error. I don't want to discuss them all, but I will just stop in the Recency errors, to explain to you something. The recency errors happen when a manager is basing him/herself on a recent event, to make a decision on the appraisal of the employee for the whole appraisal period. An employee did something good, or wrong, we forget what that employee did during the whole month, or during the whole quarter, and we focus only in that recent event to make a decision. In management, we call that "Recency error" I don't know how long you have been friend with this lady that you are mentioning, but as per what I red in comments, she never wronged you in the past, I mean you, personally. Are you going to based yourself in a recent event to decide to give up a whole friendship? Unless it has been a friendship. Because, as @msabliss put it, reliable friends are not easy to find nowadays. Think twice, that's my advise
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Jul 16
That's a very good advice actually and that's a very valid argument. I suppose if she was a long time friend I would consider these thoughts but we just recently became friends and I think I'm just beginning to see who she really is. That's why I chose to distant myself from now on.
1 person likes this
@chris2050 (1335)
• Manila, Philippines
8 Jul 16
@royanne Well, now i get your point, so i won't call it a friendship, I will rather say that, you guys have been acquainted for some time, and though you wanted this acquaintance to turn into friendship, by discovering the REAL her, you realized it wasn't worthy, so you decided to distance yourself.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
8 Jul 16
@chris2050 Well, I kinda thought we are friends though because I treated her like one but I guess everything was just playing pretend with her. But it's not really my loss so that's okay. :)
1 person likes this
6 Jul 16
Perhaps you should give her some time and space. More often than not people after spending considerable time alone tend to realize their mistake and eventually they bounce back.
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@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
I hope so. ;(
1 person likes this
7 Jul 16
@royanne Aww don't worry everything's gonna be fine.
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@royanne (372)
• Philippines
11 Jul 16
@The_Bong_Woman Thank you :)
1 person likes this
6 Jul 16
I'd say she must care much over her esteem and pride. I dont't know the exact thing, but I'd say mistake or faults should not blame on one person. When you are in piece, think whether she has goodness you apraise or you still want to be her friend.
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@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
When I think about it though she is all talk and i can't feel her sincerity. It's as though she's cold hard plastic. She's a person who is good with acting.
12 Jul 16
@royanne As I can see you must be hurted by her good acting
1 person likes this
6 Jul 16
If you have to force her then it's probably not worth it nothing should be forced when already went out your way for her
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@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
I think I agree with you on that.
6 Jul 16
I thought you should try to talk with her.it may be some mistake here
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
We actually tried to talk to her a couple of time but she still insists that she did no wrong and that why should she, according to her, lower her level. I feel like even though she's older by 6yrs and that she already has a kid, she's very immature.
• India
6 Jul 16
I think she's very egoistic ignore her
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
I think so too and I always go back to this saying "tell me who your friends are and i will tell you who you are." and I really don't wanna be like her. I think keeping a distance would be good.
@skysnap (17817)
6 Jul 16
Ignore and keep some distance. That way you set your focus right.
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@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
Will do. It's not beneficial to me anyway if I keep her.
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@yukimori (9047)
• United States
6 Jul 16
It doesn't sound like she's very good at taking criticism from others, even when it's warranted. I don't think I'd push... she has made her decision, and it sounds like the remarks she made about the other friend were completely out of line. Be professional if you have to deal with her, but beyond that I wouldn't worry about it. It seems like she wants you to chase her down and grovel when the apology has already been made.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
7 Jul 16
Yeah. That's what I think too. I'm just about done with her attitude. I'm not the kind to chase people around especially if I've already reached out a couple of times and still. If she doesn't want to accept that she also has done wrong in this case then I don't think I want a friend like that.
@Wordly1 (478)
• Kingston, New Hampshire
6 Jul 16
It may depend on how the 'remark about her work' was made. Was it spoken to her in earnest or was it a 'snarky' remark made in her presence(what we commonly refer to as a 'dig')? I'll appreciate constructive criticism any day, but, I won't stand for a 'hit and run' snark.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62691)
• Philippines
6 Jul 16
I guess she is bitter and full of insecurities. You can just ignore her.
1 person likes this