~I Had To Say No~

Jacksonville, Florida
July 20, 2016 12:31pm CST
A lady called about babysitting today. She has 4 children. They are 10, 6, 5 & 1. She needed me for 9 hours for her to work. Everything was good, I was going to watch the kids for her. Then she calls back a little while later and says by the way I won't get paid until next Thursday so I can't pay you until then. Is that a problem? I feel kind of bad but I had to tell her that I have been doing this for a long time and been burned many times. I said I just couldn't take the chance since this is the way I help support my own family. I felt bad saying no but I can't take the chance of not being paid either... Being a people pleaser saying no was tough-but I think it was for the best...
21 people like this
25 responses
@sharon6345 (125822)
• United States
20 Jul 16
It might be in the long run. I would have done it and let it hang in God's hand.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@sharon6345 I don't work for free as most people don't. And the fact that she didn't tell me up front when I mentioned the price sends me a red flag as well.
2 people like this
@sharon6345 (125822)
• United States
20 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies That is understandable for sure. But there are a lot of people that would have done it. There is nothing wrong with you saying no of course. Here where I live child care workers give people the chance to mess up or fly right. I don't blame you for saying no. That is the way you run your business. I think the amount of kids you said which is 8 here is against the law for one licensed provider. I am not sure about your laws. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@sharon6345 It doesn't matter how many children I have. It matters how many families I watch-which this was only one.
2 people like this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
20 Jul 16
I think you made the right call. If your policy is that care must be paid for up front, then that's the policy. It's not like it's unheard of for payments to be made up front in childcare, given that the majority of centers I've dealt with have all had similar policies. I can see her possibly needing to check the balances of her accounts before committing to having you watch her kids, but I agree the way it was handled was a bit weird. If I knew my account balance was running low, I'd be up front with the person and explain that I needed to check to make sure I had the correct amount--and check to see if payment arrangements could be made ahead of time.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@yukimori Yeah, that has been my policy for a while now because I have had many problems in the past with people trying to cheat me. If she was honest with me up front I might have felt differently. But she didn't, she was kind of sneaky about it which is what made a red flag go up for me.
2 people like this
@Mike197602 (13510)
• Worcester, England
20 Jul 16
I think you may have been right but maybe not. Won't say how or when but I was burned that way a few times...providing services/products before payment. It did not work out a few times but the times it did work I did very well. Would it have been a regular thing for her to use you or just a one off? I remember you talking about the legalities but can;'t remember the facts...is it ok for you to watch that amount of kids without being registered? If it would be a regular thing and you're ok legally I'd maybe have taken a chance and said yes but made her sign a payment agreement. If it was just a one off i'd have said no too unless I had no other clients then I'd have taken the chance.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@Mike197602 It was just a one time thing since her normal sitter was on vacation she said. It doesn't go by amount of kids-it is only one family that I am allowed to watch for-which is all it was. Word also gets around fast-if I did that for her then the next person that comes along might want me to do the same thing. I just can't do it.
2 people like this
@Mike197602 (13510)
• Worcester, England
20 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies In that case I think you did the right thing. I saw you say to sharon about the family thing. So if someone had 12 kids could you legally watch them along with your own or is there some upper limit?
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@Mike197602 I honestly don't know, it says on the website only one family-not a certain amount of kids.
2 people like this
@Bella128 (2480)
• United States
20 Jul 16
I think you were right to do that. You aren't offering your services for free. Usually when I house sit I get paid half at the start and then the rest after the people come home. That way everyone is on the same page and they know I'm not just going to take the money and run. I need a little bit of money beforehand because that's how I pay for gas to go to and from the house.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@BellaTricks Thank you. Yeah, i just can't take the chance anymore. Been through too many that didn't ever pay me. It would have been quite an amount of work since I would have 8 kids in my house! Lol
2 people like this
@Bella128 (2480)
• United States
20 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies That sounds intense. I have never babysat more than one child at once before. I have my limits lol!
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@Bellatricks Yeah well I have 4 kids and she had 4 kids so it would have been a lot of work to possibly not get paid.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
20 Jul 16
Sometimes, it's hard to say whether things would have worked out or not, but sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct. You have to do what you feel is best. I have a hard time saying no as well, but sometimes I have too.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@dodo19 Yeah something told me it wouldn't have been a good idea. So I went with that. I also prayed about it and I got the same answer.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
21 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies then that's what you do. If that's the answer you got, that's what you should go with. It's probably all for the best.
2 people like this
@skysnap (17817)
20 Jul 16
True you can't say yes to everything.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@skysnap No I can't anymore.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
20 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies And that's okay, you know? You have to put your nuclear family's needs above everyone else's, even if you occasionally disappoint someone else.
3 people like this
@kaka135 (14087)
• Malaysia
20 Jul 16
I agree that there are times we really have to say NO. We would like to help, but we need to do what is good for our family as well. Recently, I have been working hard on a few software projects (I am a freelance programmer), and I did not get paid at all. Either the client was too busy to talk about the project, or the project is on hold now. I should have collected some deposit before I started work, but because they are my husband's friends, so I did not do so, but rushed the projects for them, and ended up the projects are lying down there. I feel bad as when I was working hard for the projects, I was like neglecting my children, but I thought these projects can help to bring some good money for our family, then it's fine to spend those time. Now, I don't think I would like to develop the software for free, or I will not put the projects as my highest priority and neglect my children even in a short period. I guess we just learn from our experience or mistakes we have made.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@kaka135 See, this has happened to me with childcare many times. Which is why I won't take chances anymore. I have worked an entire week before and never gotten paid because they told me they would pay me on Friday when they got paid. Friday never came...This is how I help support my family so I just can't do it anymore.
@Juliaacv (30347)
• Canada
20 Jul 16
I would imagine that it hurt your heart to say that to her, but you have to keep your own loved one's best interests in mind, and that is what you are doing. It won't be long and you'll be doing the back to school thing with your kids, and you cannot buy their supplies on a promise until next week.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@Juliaacv Yeah it was hard but as you said I had to think of my family first. It also would have meant I couldn't go to Bible study last night-possibly not to even get paid. It just wasn't worth the risk.
1 person likes this
@miniam (9241)
• Bern, Switzerland
20 Jul 16
I too would have said no without thinking.Being you`re not registered,she could refuse to pay you and nothing much you could have done so be happy you said no. It`s not as if she`s someone you know from the past who you can trust
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@miniam Yeah, I can't take the chance. I used to give the benefit of the doubt and I got burned many times. If I knew her I would have say yes but since i don't I can't do it.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (53935)
• United Kingdom
20 Jul 16
I gather you don't know her well, and I agree it's not worth taking a chance. Besides which, 4 of somebody else's children would not be easy to look after.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@jabouk I don't know her at all. If I did I would have done it. Yeah, I have 4 of my own as well so it would have been a lot on me-to possibly not get paid.
2 people like this
@NJChicaa (40270)
• United States
20 Jul 16
That was the only thing you could do!
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@NJChicaa Yeah I think so too.
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (106414)
• United States
20 Jul 16
You were right to say no to this request. Your experience has proven that not all for whom you babysit are reputable people.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
20 Jul 16
@Corbin5 Yeah I have had so many issues with people in the past with payments issues.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (123236)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Jul 16
That' not really fair is it? I think you probably did the right thing. I wouldn't ask if I didn't have the money but I guess sometimes people find it difficult to come up with ready cash.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@JudyEv If she was honest with me up front about it-the first time we talked and when I told her the price I probably would have done it. But it was the way she did it that sent a red flag.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (123236)
• Bunbury, Australia
22 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies Fair enough.
@RubyHawk (25326)
• Atlanta, Georgia
20 Jul 16
it was most likely a good idea, if you didn't know the woman personally.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@RubyHawk I definitely didn't know her at all.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (25326)
• Atlanta, Georgia
22 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies then I would have done the same as you.
• Rochester, New York
20 Jul 16
I think she should have mentioned that up front before even asking you to babysit for her.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@LisaSteinmetz Yeah I agree. If she told me up front about not being able to pay me then I would have done it. But we talked 3 different times and she never said anything until much later... Red flag for sure.
1 person likes this
• Rochester, New York
21 Jul 16
@LovingMyBabies I think it was rather rude of her not to mention it first. It seems to me like she just assumed that you would do I.
• United States
21 Jul 16
You were smart to say no as this is your business and you have to make sure you get paid.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@Marilynda1225 Thank you. Yeah I have taken the chance before and regretted it many times. I can't keep doing it.
2 people like this
@gudheart (12752)
21 Jul 16
I am the same really, I find it hard saying no to people as I a bit of people pleaser too.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@gudheart Yeah it's hard for me to say no but when it comes to my family it makes it a little bit easier.
@acelawrites (10962)
• Philippines
21 Jul 16
Tell them you also need the money immediately so they should pay at once. Don't be sorry if you said no.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@acelawrites Yeah i did tell her I need to be paid up front.
@hostessman (9449)
• Tucson, Arizona
21 Jul 16
i don't blame you, so many times things backfire when you try to do a good deed
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@hostessman The way she did it is what made me say no. She was already sneaky.
• Akqi, China
21 Jul 16
It's very thoughtful of You and please don't feel so down about it. It might make you more upset if you get the job without payment.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
21 Jul 16
@sallycherry Yeah, I don't like working for free just like anyone else. Thanks.