Could you look after a child that wasn't yours?
@sprite1950 (30453)
Corsham, England
August 13, 2016 3:04am CST
I have custody of my 9 year old granddaughter and have a Special Guardianship Order for her. She was 4 when I took her on as her parents had problems and could no longer look after her. It hasn't been easy as there has been a lot of resentment from the parents although things are easier than they were.
There are many reasons why people may look after a child that isn't strictly theirs. Some people remarry and take on the new partner's children, others adopt or foster, but not everyone wants to do it.
Could you take on a child that wasn't yours by birth?
13 people like this
14 responses
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
I believe I could. I'm considering adopting one. When I was in my grade school days I wanted my parents to adopt a baby coz they could no longer have any as they have enough...5 children. Dad didn't want to adopt more but I know my mom still wanted to have a baby. So on weekends, the only time we could be together on school terms, our neighbour would lend her baby to my mom and that baby would stay with us for the whole weekend.
2 people like this
@toniganzon (72285)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
@sprite1950 I'm already a mom of a 12 year old boy. I wish to have more kids, but I haven't been blessed with another one yet.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
@toniganzon I'm sure your time will come and you will have another.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
I love your story. I think that children who come from big families are usually really good with children. I'm sure you will make a lovely mum :)
2 people like this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
13 Aug 16
I would do it in a heart beat. If I knew a child was in danger, the parents had no chance in taking care of them, or anything else I would do it. I plan on adopting two kids at some point in my life.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
That's wonderful. My granddaughter would have gone into the care system if I hadn't taken her and although we've had our problems it's very rewarding when she tells me she loves me.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
@DesirousDreamer I had a very stable home life when I was a child but I can imagine how hard it is to have to grow up without your natural family and be placed with strangers although some foster carers do a great job.
1 person likes this
@DesirousDreamer (34783)
• Peoria, Arizona
13 Aug 16
@sprite1950 I am glad she is safe and did not have to go from home to home. I had a few friends that went through the foster care system, it was really sad.
2 people like this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
30 Aug 16
I have done it. We fostered a brother and sister with the intention of adopting them, which we did as soon as we could. We also cared for my then 12-year-old nephew for the year he turned 13 when his parents could not care for him. It was very challenging, but we have never been sorry we did it. It help us mature and caring for my nephew brought me closer to my brother.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
That's wonderful. The world needs people like you.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
@bagarad I was worried when I took on my granddaughter at the age of 60 but I think it's working out quite well although I get anxious about something happening to me before she's grown. My health is good at the moment.
1 person likes this
@bagarad (14283)
• Paso Robles, California
30 Aug 16
@sprite1950 My mom was the really giving one. She was 76 when she took on my five-year-old nephew while we had his brother. It was pretty hard on her, but we didn't have room then for more than one child.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
I mean on a full time basis and bring them up as your own. I don't mean temporarily looking after them as many people take care of relatives while their parents are doing something else.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
My daughter feels like you although if you are very young you might change your mind later on. I think it's good to be honest about it and not follow the crowd Anna
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (457321)
• Switzerland
13 Aug 16
@sprite1950 I am not very young, I am 65, I never changed my mind.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
@LadyDuck You're the same age as me as I am also 65 :) We are young at heart!
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
Of course, in fact, we have took care a mother and child here in our home. The mother which is 17 years old and the child is 9 months old. We are willing to see them and we did it for 5 months but the mother is really hard to handle until she left again.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
17 is quite young to be a mother. It sounds as if she was struggling but it was good of you to take her in.
2 people like this
@ilocosboy (45157)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
@sprite1950 she was really hard to handle because she love to hang out with her friends, but she is a mother now and should be responsible, well, that is life, she could not bear our advice and she left.
2 people like this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
@ilocosboy Sounds like she had her child too young and wanted the good life. I hope she looked after her baby when she left you.
1 person likes this
@Lady_Justice (969)
• United States
13 Aug 16
Kudos to you for stepping up when needed. If it meant keeping a child in my care to keep them out of the system, I would certainly do everything in my power to try.
1 person likes this
@Lady_Justice (969)
• United States
14 Aug 16
@sprite1950 I imagine so. It can't be easy, but you will change that child's life. The "care" system can be anything but caring a lot of the time. Kids need the love of family, especially when they are little and going through a bad time already.
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
There have been times when I wish I had a normal retirement but I wouldn't have it any other way now
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
14 Aug 16
@Lady_Justice Yes, it hasn't always been easy for my granddaughter and myself but I know I did the right thing. She may not appreciate it now but I hope she does when she is older.
1 person likes this
@zebra2222 (5269)
• United States
16 Aug 16
We are sending our daughter off to college in a couple days. Taking care of another child is not something that we could do.
1 person likes this
@zebra2222 (5269)
• United States
16 Aug 16
@sprite1950 I wish you well. Staying healthy is key.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
16 Aug 16
I must admit I found it hard at first. Bringing up a child in my retirement years is not something I could have foreseen but I am resigned to it now and she won't be a child forever. I hope I stay as healthy as I am now so that I will have some good years left to enjoy myself when she is independent.
@LovingMyBabies (85127)
• Valdosta, Georgia
30 Aug 16
I love all kids and I babysit all the time so I do think I could take on any child that needed it.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
@LovingMyBabies, That's good, some people are just natural born mums and I think you must be one of them :)
@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
13 Aug 16
I probably could given whatever the circumstances were.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
My granddaughter was family and I could never have turned my back on her.
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@DanieGirl80587 (2713)
• United States
2 Sep 16
@sprite1950 Of course :-) That's family and you don't turn your back on it.
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@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
Yes that's how I felt about it. Family is important.
1 person likes this
@Macarrosel (7498)
• Philippines
13 Aug 16
I have no idea for I never experience that yet.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
30 Aug 16
It's difficult to know what we would do until we are faced with it.
@Mike197602 (15487)
• United Kingdom
13 Aug 16
I had an ex that had a kid once and had no problems with that.
I plan to stay single now so I doubt the issue would ever come up.
Some people are cut out for having kids whereas some aren't and I don't think I am.
I'm way too selfish and irresponsible to have a kid full time.
But I'm a fan of adoption as I'm adopted myself.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
Some people really aren't cut out to be parents but you never know, one day that might all change for you :) If you are a fan of adoption I take you had a happy life which is good.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (23228)
• Bangalore, India
13 Aug 16
Yes I may. Only thing to stop me would be my financial situation. Otherwise I would support and take care of the child.
1 person likes this
@sprite1950 (30453)
• Corsham, England
13 Aug 16
That's a good attitude to have but you do need to be financially secure
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