Sometimes You Just Have to Back Off

United States
August 18, 2016 5:11pm CST
I learned a big lesson about the relationship between my sister and me this week. She is my stepsister and only came into my life about a year and a half ago. We became close almost immediately because we're both goofy and like to have fun. There are certain things though that separate us very much. She is only 16 years old and I am 30. I have learned to control my bad mood and not take it out on everyone and she has not. A pet peeve of mine is when someone starts an argument with me or causes a big scene simply because they are in a bad mood. Another pet peeve is when they refuse to admit that they did something wrong and try to push the blame on me. Here's what happened... My brother and I had been hanging out all day and having a great time. We left for church and had to pick my sister up on the way. All three of us get to church and we're getting out of the car when my brother asks his sister to grab his Bible out of the backseat since she was getting out of the back and could easily grab it. Immediately her attitude changed and she responded a sarcastic and rude tone, "Why don't you get it?" This came out of nowhere. I asked her to chill out and she turned on me and told me not to tell her what to do. She grabs the Bible and instead of handing it to my brother, puts it down on the hood of my car and storms off. She was the first one to get to the church doors and she walked in and tried to close the door in my face. Naturally, I got mad about it. I never did anything wrong and my brother never did anything wrong. None of us deserved that behavior. My sister later sent a text to me and apologized. I told her I was frustrated because the attitude came out of nowhere. Suddenly her apology meant nothing and she is arguing with me because supposedly she was "kidding" when she was giving my brother an attitude about the Bible. I'm sorry but if you're kidding about something, EVERYONE should be in on the joke. Nobody was laughing or smiling. Also, if she was kidding then she would have explained that when I asked her to chill out. Anyway, I've ranted for long enough. I'm just super mad about the whole thing. I hate that she behaved like that and I hate that she's now lying about it and trying to make it seem like I caused the whole thing. It's made me realize that it probably isn't the best idea to be that close to someone who is still a young teenager. I left the dramatic teenage years a long time ago and I have no intentions of dealing with them again. I'm still going to be there for her as a sister but maybe the "hanging out ALL. THE. TIME." thing needs to slow down. One more teenage outburst and I may lose my mind.
4 people like this
6 responses
@CinnamonGrl (6074)
• Paradise, California
18 Aug 16
Yeh let her hang out with girls her own age and they can all gripe at each other instead of you. (OOPS I used a bad word for "gripe" and had to change it. The other one was more descriptive.)
2 people like this
• United States
18 Aug 16
I appreciate you changing the word. Thanks. She is homeschooled so she doesn't really have many friends her own age. It's one of the reasons why I let her hang out at my home so much. She gets bored at her own house with nobody to hang out with. I'm just giving her space to pout right now. I have too much to worry about without adding a moody teenager to the list. lol
@sharon6345 (141514)
• United States
18 Aug 16
I am so glad you saw it yourself. I was going to mention the age difference for sure. I also love that you consider her a sister as she should be. it makes it all the more better for her and yourself as she gets to know you both. My sister calls my brother and sister her sister and brother and I love that.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 16
I think part of the problem was that I was so eager to have a sister I could be super close with that I failed to pay attention to the fact that she is only a young teenager and still has so much to learn about life.
@sharon6345 (141514)
• United States
18 Aug 16
@missjessicadawn That is not part of the problem in my eyes. I think that is part of the blessing. You could mold her to be just like you want her. she has to get to know what you like and don't like and you the same with her. I know my daughter would do anything to have a sister. You just need more time with her and I am sure she will love it and you for it.
• United States
20 Aug 16
@sharon6345 That's what I thought at first. She spends A LOT of time with me. So much that she's practically been living with me. We've become close as sisters but she's not respecting that fact that I'm still the adult and sometimes I can't behave as a sister to her, I have to be the adult. When I become the adult, she gets mad and gets an attitude. I feel like time apart will help her to chill and realize that her attitude doesn't help anything.
@TRBRocks420 (84187)
• Banks, Oregon
18 Aug 16
I hear you with teenagers, they can really be so rude and, obnoxious and, at church no less. I also hate how they call rude behavior a joke, because being rude to someone isn't a joke it's just rude lol.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 16
Exactly. It's really low to try to cover up your bad behavior by acting like it's a joke and trying to push the blame on the other person. It drives me crazy.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (84187)
• Banks, Oregon
18 Aug 16
@missjessicadawn Yes, they need to learn respect and, kindness.
1 person likes this
@Macarrosel (7538)
• Philippines
18 Aug 16
I don't think she was joking when she did that.seems it's only her excuse for you to accept her apology. You're right, maybe hanging with her all the time is not good anymore. Seems she is abusing your goodness to her.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Aug 16
She definitely wasn't joking but she's still saying that she was. People use the "I was joking" excuse a lot when they do something stupid and realize that someone got mad. Then they try to act like the angry person is overreacting by announcing that they were "joking". I've seen it a million times and I never fall for it.
1 person likes this
@UncleJoe (11170)
• Virginia Beach, Virginia
18 Aug 16
Maybe when church started "Love Lifter Her" so she tried to apologize. LOL I'm with you though. I've lived too much real life to put up with teenage drama.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Aug 16
lol Same here. You get to an age where you learn to choose your battles and not sweat the small stuff.
2 people like this
@cherriefic (4805)
• Philippines
18 Aug 16
Teenagers..they loose it in just a snap. Better back off with being chummy for awhile.
1 person likes this