BBQ Ribs and Family Meal Time
By Jeff Moffitt
@moffittjc (118365)
Gainesville, Florida
August 21, 2016 10:01am CST
I've never been much of a cook, but when I returned home from spending a week at my parents house after the death of my father, I wanted to do something special for my kids. Losing my father made me realize how much I love my own children, and how much I wanted to spend more time with them.
We've never been much of the type of family to sit down and have formal meals together, with all our busy schedules and all, but when I returned home yesterday and hugged them tightly, I told them I wanted to cook a nice meal and sit down together as a family to enjoy dinner, just like I did with my own parents as a child.
The three of us (me, my daughter and my son) went to the store together, and I let them suggest to me what they wanted to eat. They suggested barbecue ribs, corn, beans, potato salad, and cheddar biscuits. I could have taken the easy way out and bought all the "pre-made" stuff, but instead decided to make everything from scratch. I forewarned them that cooking was not my thing, so I couldn't promise them how everything would turn out! lol
But when we got home, the three of us worked together in the kitchen and prepped and cooked everything together. And then we set the table and enjoyed a wonderful meal together, and all the food turned out absolutely delicious!
I enjoyed the family meal time, and think I will make it a weekly thing for us. Above all else, I just enjoyed the quality time spent with them!
25 people like this
22 responses
@CinnamonGrl (7083)
• Santa Fe, New Mexico
21 Aug 16
I just took out some ribs to defrost for tonight thanks to this post, lol. So thank you! Yummy!
Well that happens with modern life, not having meals together. I think you're doing a very good thing for your family. I hope someone sees this and gets the same idea. It's just my mom and I at home so we always have dinner together.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
The kids and I always eat together, just never in a formal sit-down setting. I laugh, because we rarely ever sit at the dining room table to eat, we are either in the living room, or sitting on the barstools at the kitchen counter. I've often joked that I should just get rid of the dining room table so we could have more space for other things! But it was nice that we sat down together at the table last night!
And I hope you enjoy your ribs tonight!
1 person likes this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc Okay. Ignore my earlier rant. 
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
@ElizabethWallace I didn't take it as a rant! You were 100% correct in what you said! I definitely value any and all quality time I can spend with my kids. Eating dinner together is a great way for all of us to talk about how our day was!
1 person likes this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
21 Aug 16
ALL research shows that it is IMPERATIVE for families to dine together five times each week for the well-being and success of children. It gives them a sense of self-confidence, builds their identify and security. Start with once each week, then add another day, etc. until you have figured out a way to do this. The meals do not have to be elaborate, but sitting together, eating and chatting is key. Good luck.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
We do eat together every night, just not in a formal setting. Most of the time we sit together out in the living room, or often at the barstools at the kitchen counter. But yes, it's always been important to me that we eat together, no matter whether it's formal or informal!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
@ElizabethWallace This is true! I'm not a teacher, but work in the field of parks and recreation. We work with many children in our after-school and summer camp programs, and we can tell as well which kids get the love and support of their parents.
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc Great. Teachers can tell which kids are ignored, and which are given the parental attention they all need.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
22 Aug 16
@moffittjc I have to agree with what @ElizabethWallace has said. It was nice sitting down together for a meal.
2 people like this
@silvermist (19702)
• India
25 Aug 16
@moffittjc As they say the family that dines together stays together.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Aug 16
Yes, I couldn't agree more. It was a lovely time together with my children!
2 people like this
@ElizabethWallace (12074)
• United States
22 Aug 16
@moffittjc Would be wise for parents everywhere to follow Jeff's example. Their kids would be happier and better off for it.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
22 Aug 16
This is a meal they will remember for years, well done you!!
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
23 Aug 16
@moffittjc lol Well yes, but they may just remember this one too!!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
@BelleStarr I hope they remember this one and many more family meals to come in the future!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
I think the meal we had a few years ago where we ended up getting into a crazy fun food fight will be the one they most remember! Let's just say thank goodness I had tile floors then, because we sure had a huge mess to clean up afterward! I don't think any of us have ever laughed so hard as we did that day!
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
21 Aug 16
That's the way it should be - but life isn't always fair...sorry about your father, I' sure he enjoyed watching you from above cook/eat with your kids.
1 person likes this
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc My father always did the cooking, my mother was a horrible cook, we kept her out of the kitchen nd she was glad of it. He learned in the Army and loved it - they were a match made in heaven.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
@AbbyGreenhill Both of my parents were amazing cooks! My mother was a good cook because she learned from her mother, and plus she was really good at finding cookbook recipes; my dad was an amazing cook because he learned to cook from spending so much time in the woods when he went hunting, fishing and camping! He never cooked from a recipe, he was a genius about just working with the ingredients he had and somehow making it all work.
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
Thanks Abby! It sure did bring back lots of memories of my own father cooking dinner for my brother and I when we were kids. My dad worked days, and my mom worked nights, so he would often be the one to cook dinner for us since my mom would often be at work.
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
21 Aug 16
Awww hopefully you will be able to spend more time dinning with them
1 person likes this
@Drosophila (16573)
• Ireland
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc true! Anyhoo after our conversation about buffalo wings, I got some in the end. It was extremely spicy to my surprise! I'll have to make some of mine own in da future
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Aug 16
@Drosophila Hope they were good, even though they were spicy! I like spicy wings, and the hotter the better!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
I always make sure to spend quality time with them, even if it's not necessarily at the dining room table! lol
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (48890)
• United States
25 Aug 16
Sorry to hear of your loss, but glad that you had good quality time with your children.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Aug 16
Thanks Marie. It just made me realize how much I love my kids, and made me want to hug them even tighter each time I saw them!
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
21 Aug 16
I wish I could do the same @moffitjc . My sister is the closest relative and she's 2 hours away and we only see each other on my birthday (April) and at Xmas. Otherwise all other family members live 3 states away. So it's just me and my critters and as long as I open a can of food for them, they don't really care.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
It's always been hard for me, living so far away from family. My entire family on my dad's side; my entire family on my mom's side; and my entire family on my ex-wife's side all live in the same family (and all within a mile or two of each other). I am the only one who lives far away. I always used to joke with them that I was the only one who was able to escape! lol
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
@nanette64 Escape is not really what I did, but I joke with them about it all the time. There are a couple of my relatives who feel like I betrayed the family by moving. But, I had a family of my own to provide for, and I had an offer on an amazing job that I couldn't refuse, living in a city that I absolutely loved. It was a no-brainer for me to make the move. But it wasn't an escape. It was an opportunity!
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (20364)
• Fairfield, Texas
22 Aug 16
@moffittjc Now that's a good way of putting it (escape).
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@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
26 Aug 16
I had BBQ ribs for lunch today! They were so delicious!
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
21 Aug 16
You sometimes surprise yourself how well you can do in cooking,things you think you are good at going wrong.
Glad you guys got together to work as a team and enjoyed the meal.
I think families should make time to a meal too busy? once a week as you plan is great.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
I think what I most liked about our family dinner was that they jumped in to help me prepare the meal. I had more fun cooking with them in the kitchen than I did eating the meal! Now, if I could just get them to help me cook every day!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
@miniam Well, at least I got them to help me once! If that's the only time I can get them in the kitchen to help cook, then it's a memory I will cherish for a lifetime!
1 person likes this
@miniam (9154)
• Bern, Switzerland
21 Aug 16
@moffittjc
And i`d say dont hold your breath,they will love eating but sure not helping cook it.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (22926)
• India
22 Aug 16
Am sorry about your loss. Family time is imortant and i'm glad you'll had that time together.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
Thank you! Yes, family time is very important!
1 person likes this
@CaseyRoss9966 (4056)
• United States
22 Aug 16
I am sorry about your father, but I am glad that you got to spend time with your kids. My family and I actually eat a lot more meals together now that I am in college then we did when I was in high school. My mom used to work a lot of nights so she wasn't home then but now she gets off at 3 or 4 every afternoon. We might not always sit at the table every night but we always eat at the same time. Sometimes atbthe table and sometimes in the living room. My siblings all try to come over at least once for dinner when I come home from college.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
That's nice that your family makes time to do that! It's very important for family bonding, and also for the development of positive self-esteem in children (or in your case, college student! lol).
How far do you live from where you go to college? (you may have already told me this, but I can't remember). Is it easy for you to go home frequently from school to be with the family?
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Aug 16
@CaseyRoss9966 You and I sound a lot alike when it comes to those emotional family attachments! And...I also lived 4 hours from where I went to college, so I know exactly what you're saying! Except where your pet is a dog, mine was a cat! lol
1 person likes this
@CaseyRoss9966 (4056)
• United States
23 Aug 16
@moffittjc I live about 4hours away from my college. I just go home for breaks. It is kind of pointless to drive that far on Friday, see them Saturday, & then drive that far back on Sunday. Just not worth it for a day of seeing them. I don't care to see them other than breaks though. I don't miss them either. My dog is the only thing that I miss a lot. I don't form emotional attachments very well with people even my own family.
1 person likes this
@teresatrotter (4073)
• Jacksonville, Florida
24 Aug 16
It is great that you have a close relationship with your kids. So many families don't.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Aug 16
I always promised myself that I was going to be very involved in my kids life, no matter what. Thankfully, I work at a job where I can take off whenever I need to spend time with my kids (school functions, holidays, doctor visits, etc.). I told my boss when she hired me, if I ever had to make a choice between my work and my kids, my kids would win every single time!
1 person likes this
@teresatrotter (4073)
• Jacksonville, Florida
25 Aug 16
@moffittjc - Good for you!!!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
21 Aug 16
First off sorry for the loss of your Dad. Losing a parent sure makes you look at life differently. I lost both of my parents. Life sure is different without them. I am glad that you got to spend some quality time with your family. The meal sounded delicious. When my children were growing up in was always big on having our dinner together. It was our time to share how our day went and just to bond as a family. I think it is a good idea to do it on a weekly basis. Time passes so quickly.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
I'm sorry to hear about the loss of both of your parents. I guess time softens the blow, but never really, truly heals one from the loss. One of the things I have been really good at with my kids, is making sure I spend quality time with them each day, and taking the time to find out how their day went, and what was good and bad. I want them to be able to feel that they can always come to me with any situation without fear of me getting angry or upset with them. Luckily, we have good open communication with each other on just about everything going on in our lives.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Aug 16
@Happy2BeMe Thank you! I'm not perfect, but I do my absolute best to raise good kids! I want them to have a better life than me, but always stay grounded to what is true and important in life. It's a lesson my dad taught me, and I'm just trying to pass it on to my own kids!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99399)
• Canada
22 Aug 16
@moffittjc that is good. It it so important to have good communication. You sound like a wonderful dad.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (157494)
• United States
21 Aug 16
This is very touching, really. i hope it is the birth of a new tradition.You can never give your family enough time.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
Although we may not have formal sit down dinners together all that often, we certainly have created some wonderful traditions together as a family!
@Marilynda1225 (79592)
• United States
21 Aug 16
I'm sorry to hear about your dad and send along my condolences. I'm sure your family bonding time was appreciated by your kids and hope you can continue to bond with them. Life is just too short
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
I've always been good at bonding with my kids (since I am a single father and raising them), but now it becomes even more imperative that I spend as much time as I can with them before they get too grown-up to want to be around their dad (they are both teenagers).
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
21 Aug 16
That sounds like to me it was a great way to get back in touch with your kids after all the trauma of the last week.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
It was nice, because as we were cooking together, and then later eating together, I was able to talk to them about everything that happened over the past week in our family. They had a lot of questions, and it was nice to share details with them to help them understand the whole situation.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
21 Aug 16
With my amazing cooking skills (or lack thereof), I can imagine we are going to have some very funny stories to tell my grandkids someday! lol
@Poppylicious (11133)
•
22 Aug 16
That would be a lovely thing to do each week. Plan a menu and then all chip in together to prepare it. Quality time, nice chats, a few laughs, good memories, maybe trying something new, learning new skills, and all topped off with a yummy meal. :)
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Aug 16
Hahaha, yeah it was really fun doing all that with the kids! The best part was the mess we made in the kitchen, since none of us really know how to cook! LOL But, we even had fun cleaning everything up!
@moffittjc (118365)
• Gainesville, Florida
22 Aug 16
I've always enjoyed a close relationship with my children, but the loss of my father has brought me even closer to them.
1 person likes this
