I Decided to Go

@much2say (33621)
United States
September 15, 2016 6:25pm CST
Against what I normally would have decided, I braved up to go to the funeral of an old high school friend whom I haven't seen in years. Many thanks for all your inputs on my recent post about my dilemma. The plan was to go in and out. I purposely got there a tad late so I wouldn't have to chit chat with anyone before the service. Well, after I sat down, my childhood enemy/friend came in, spotted me, and sat down behind me. I found out he had not seen most of the group in 30 years . . . and he couldn't have said it better "Well, THIS sucks we ended up having our reunion like this!" The service was lovely. Two in the group had been great friends all these years of the friend who passed - and one of them, her very best friend, gave a beautiful speech. Afterwards I walked out with my childhood enemy and then I couldn't avoid "the group". It was mostly hugs and tears - nothing more really. I even noticed a couple in the group who tip toed off . . . maybe some felt like me after all. I stayed to give my condolences to the best friend who gave the speech . . . I hadn't seen her in a long while either . . .and I could see she was completely devastated. And then we all headed out. I parked far away because there was no parking left at the church . . . so I had some walking to do. When I was barely going down the block, a car stopped next to me - and it was the best friend. First she and her husband kindly offered to drive me to my car - and then they asked if I was going to the burial. I wasn't planning to, but how could I say no - so they told me to hop into the car and we went around the corner to the cemetery. In the car, I got the low down of what had happened to our friend. Even though I never even knew she was that ill, I was glad that the 2 friends in our group were with her during her most difficult times. I don't think I would have regretted it if I didn't go, yet at the same time it felt good that I did. Besides saying goodbye to an old friend, somehow I got a sense of where "the group" stood. We're not all "good friends" at this stage in our lives and that's just the way it is . . . but I already knew that. Did you ever go with a decision you DIDN'T think you would go with?
17 people like this
15 responses
• United States
15 Sep 16
bless yer heart, i actually admire ya fer goin'. folks change through the years, friendships don't always last fere'er, nor do i reckon they're meant to?
3 people like this
• United States
16 Sep 16
@much2say i agree with ya'n the closure part, hon.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
16 Sep 16
1 person likes this
@paigea (20046)
• Canada
3 Oct 16
@much2say If you feel at peace now, then it was well worth going
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Sep 16
Glad you went! Even stayed longer than you usually would. I wouldn't be able to deny the request either. And it didn't turn out too bad either. May she rest in peace. Sorry to hear she was ill. Now she does not have to be in pain.
2 people like this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
17 Sep 16
Thank you. Had I not gone to the burial afterwards, I would not have known the circumstances of our late friend. It was hard to hear because she really did not do well in her battle with a rare form of cancer - apparently things went downhill very fast. Yes, she is no longer in pain. :(
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Sep 16
@much2say Yes, and you won't regret not attending. I am glad you decided to go and I am sure all enemies or not, that day everyone is family.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
@infatuatedbby I liked the way you phrased that . . . yes, indeed if only for that day, we were all in the same boat.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
16 Sep 16
I have gone with a decision I didn't think I would more than once. I think that's just a part of life. I'm glad things worked out better than you thought. Sometimes when you dread doing something it turns out not as bad as you expected.
2 people like this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
17 Sep 16
I really wasn't going to go - I really wasn't. And then I figured it was a do it now or never kinda thing . . . so I convinced myself to just go. I think I was most relieved when I found out my childhood enemy/friend said he had not seen anyone since high school - that really surprised me, but I realized I wasn't the only one in the group who had been missing from the scene (though he was just one out of a couple guys . . .all the rest of girls, so he probably didn't care that much). Yah, it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be . . . but then again it was a service for a friend who passed - everyone there was going to be "nice". I did think it was interesting that a couple friends did slip out quickly.
1 person likes this
• Otis Orchards, Washington
17 Sep 16
@much2say Yeah, sometimes you find it isn't all that bad. And you learn something new as well.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
@RichardMeister I think it built some confidence in me about certain things . . .
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (92231)
• Bunbury, Australia
16 Sep 16
I'm glad this turned out this way. It was obviously the right decision after all. You must feel more at ease about it all now. I hope so anyway.
2 people like this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
16 Sep 16
I really was undecided until this morning. Last night I even told Hubby I probably wouldn't go. But somehow I figured I should make an appearance and go with no expectations (which wasn't easy). I do feel more at ease, I really do. I don't think anything more can be expected after today, but at least I can say I put a closure to this and can move on . . .
1 person likes this
@sallypup (19514)
• Moses Lake, Washington
17 Sep 16
Take care. Its hard to be reminded how fragile life is.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
Thank you . . . yes, our friend was only 48 . . . life IS fragile.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
@sallypup So sorry to hear that. That is so young .
1 person likes this
@sallypup (19514)
• Moses Lake, Washington
19 Sep 16
@much2say It happened right before Christmas. Totally unexpected. Quite shocking to everyone.
1 person likes this
• China
16 Sep 16
You went to the service at last.Thing seems not to be as complicated as you thought and everything went well.At least you have a feeling of relief now.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
I guess it went as well as it was going to be. It was interesting - I was telling my husband - that now that it was all over and I was relieved to be over the whole stress in my mind, now I am letting it sink in that an old friend had lost her life (only 48 years old).
1 person likes this
• China
20 Sep 16
@much2say You now must think that it is a good job you went to the service.Sadly she passed away in the prime of life.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
21 Sep 16
@changjiangzhibin89 I also feel badly for the friends and family who were so close to her. They are feeling the most heaviest hearts of all.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (113100)
• Boise, Idaho
16 Sep 16
I'm glad that this turned out okay for you. I have gone with some decisions differently than what I thought I would do. I figure sometimes "What would they do if it were all reversed?"
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
17 Sep 16
It was a bit out of character as I was seriously not going to go . . . but I did. And yah, it turned out okay after all - surprisingly!
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (113100)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Sep 16
@much2say ....Glad it worked out.
1 person likes this
@KristenH (19083)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
15 Sep 16
Sorry I've missed your previous posts about it. But you did the right thing to say goodbye to your friend back then, I think. As for your question, I don't think so.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
16 Sep 16
It's a long story, but yah, it felt right to be there.
1 person likes this
@KristenH (19083)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
16 Sep 16
@much2say No worries.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (21107)
• United States
8 Apr
Many times
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
9 Apr
Life is tough, isn't it?
@DianneN (55039)
• United States
29 Sep 16
I'm glad you went and now have closure with all your friends. You did what was right, all around.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
3 Oct 16
In all honesty I'm just glad I could now put it all behind me. It wasn't easy to go, but in the end it turned out okay . . . but of course everyone would be on their best behavior at that time.
@bunnybon7 (31669)
• Holiday, Florida
24 Sep 16
many times because i was worried i would feel guilty later
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
25 Sep 16
I really wasn't intending to go - and I think I still would have been ok about it had I not gone . . . but I guess going put some things in my head to rest.
@AmbiePam (45066)
• United States
19 Sep 16
That's really cool of you to do.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
20 Sep 16
It was difficult because I had grown apart from the rest of the group many years ago - and we all really weren't in contact the past few years. But I'm glad I went.
@PatZAnthony (11729)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
16 Sep 16
It has to be a tough choice, either way.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
17 Sep 16
I was beating my head over this since a week ago when I found out!
@MattMeng (3312)
• Hangzhou, China
16 Sep 16
Yes, I did.
1 person likes this
@much2say (33621)
• United States
19 Sep 16
What kind of decision was it?
@shivamani10 (9366)
• Hyderabad, India
16 Sep 16
oh..everything is realized as illusion after a certain age. But, this is not the life one wants and means.
1 person likes this