It Was Harder Than I Thought

United States
September 20, 2016 11:28am CST
My mom cam home from the rehab facility on Sunday. Both my daughters picked her up and brought her home. I have to say she did much better the day she came home with her physcial therapist for the evaluation which determined her discharge. Once she was home she practically forgot everything she learned in rehab and for the past two days it's been a very stressful and hairy situation. Her regression was totally unexpected. Yesterday the visiting nurse came to do her home evaluation and said that she's basically doing well but will need a physical therapist to come in a few days a week to work with her. In the meantime the rest is up to us to do all the running up and down the stairs and tend to her needs. I honestly don't know how this is going to work but I guess only time will tell to see if it all works itself out and we can find a routine that works for all of us. Otherwise I guess I'll be looking into a permanent facility for her and if that day comes I wouldn't even know where to start. Right now I can't even think straight and am so overwhelmed by all of this. I figured I'd pop on here to say hello while I wait for the physical therapist to ring the bell. I know I've said this before but I really do hope to be able to get back here and start interacting once again. I miss the daily chats and it gave me an outlet from the daily grind. Sending hugs and smiles to everyone today
30 people like this
32 responses
@CinnamonGrl (5740)
• Paradise, California
20 Sep 16
I know where you're coming from. We kept my daddy home a very long time past the point where we were even really capable. There had been so many issues, so many falls -- twice he fell on my mother. But the last health incident became too much and he has to be in a nursing home. It's so sad when this happens with the people we love. You are doing all you can. I hope you get all the help you need.
6 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
This is almost more than I can handle so I could be looking for a nursing home shortly. It's sad when this happens to our parents but it's hard on us too as caregivers
4 people like this
@marlina (71208)
• Canada
20 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 , sending you some good vibes that you can find a great place for your Mom as soon as possible as this looks to me like this would be better for everyone.
4 people like this
@BelleStarr (36935)
• Portland, Connecticut
20 Sep 16
I am praying for you, I have been there and know exactly what you are going through. It is beyond stressful. It is also hard to find just the right nursing home to meet your needs, one that you can feel confident will treat your mother well and keep her safe. It broke my heart but I had no choice.
5 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
Thank you for your prayers as they are so appreciated. I know I have to put my feelings of guilt aside and then base the decision on facts & not emotions
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (36935)
• Portland, Connecticut
21 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 I checked the state records on bad reports for each convlescent home. Visiting them at odd times is a good idea to really see what goes on. Staff ratios especially on the 3rd shift is important too.
1 person likes this
@parpande (674)
• Bangalore, India
20 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 I wish your idea of looking into a permanent facility for her is better. I have my sympathy and hope everything goes fine.I can also feel that its unpleasant that you miss the daily chats but it may take some time for everything to be in place . Stay calm and patient
5 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
thank you for your good thoughts and wishes. It's been a difficult road so far and since my mom is almost 95 a more permanent facility might be what she needs
2 people like this
@akalinus (14613)
• United States
20 Sep 16
You will be blessed for doing this. It is hard, but in the end, you will be glad you did. I hope you can find a caregiver's support group near you.
4 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
I would love a caregivers support group but so far I cant' even leave the house. Maybe I can find an online group?:
3 people like this
@akalinus (14613)
• United States
20 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 That is possible. There are many in your position.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 16
Best wishes. I know this can't be easy. She would do the same for you, right? She's lucky to have you. Thoughts and prayers for your whole family.
4 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
thank you for your thoughts and good wishes. I just hope none of my children have to go through any of this when I get older
2 people like this
• United States
21 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 I have started thinking about those kinds of things now that I am starting to get older as well. I hope my kids don't either.
@amadeo (61330)
• United States
20 Sep 16
Not sure what to say.we all know that this is tough for you.I believe you are a strong woman an your family.Can work something out?
3 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
Definitely hoping to work this out for what's best for everyone
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (17080)
• Fairfield, Texas
20 Sep 16
I guess in the phone book under Senior Living Centers @Marilynda1225 . Hopefully she'll get better though.
3 people like this
@DianneN (73879)
• United States
21 Sep 16
Oh, my! Is is possible for you to get a home nurse to help your mom? I know how hard it will be taking care of her if she is in this position.
2 people like this
@marlina (71208)
• Canada
21 Sep 16
A home nurse would sure help a lot.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Sep 16
right now they've set up a visiting nurse for 2x a week, along with a physical therapist and an occupational therapist for 2x a week. They are going to do this for the next two weeks and see if she improves before they make an evaluation on whether to increase the home care or if it will be able to be lessened. Guess it will be a wait and see game for the next two weeks
1 person likes this
@DianneN (73879)
• United States
23 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 It certainly looks that way. Hope everything works out for the best.
@Juliaacv (28807)
• Canada
20 Sep 16
You are in a tough place my friend, loving and wanting what is best for your Mom, and yet you're not Superwoman. I hope that things even out and that with other assistance things move along more smoothly, or maybe your Mom will request a long term care facility herself to you.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (28807)
• Canada
20 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 My grandparents were of that same generation, and I was concerned that my parents would follow in their footsteps, but in the end, twice in the last 6 months of my Dad's life, he allowed himself to be hospitalized, the last time it was the final time. He knew. His needs were more than any of us could handle, my brother would come over and play watchdog when my mother had to go out to shop and even with all of us pitching in it was too much at home. But he put up a brave fight.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (48104)
• United States
20 Sep 16
I feel for you so much. I hope somehow things get easier.
2 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
Thanks for your good wishes & everything always works out somehow
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (53412)
• United Kingdom
20 Sep 16
I'm sorry that it's so difficult for you Marilyn
2 people like this
• United States
20 Sep 16
Thanks Janet as I appreciate all the good thoughts
2 people like this
@amnabas (9966)
• Karachi, Pakistan
20 Sep 16
Thanks for your greetings... I hope it works for you..
2 people like this
• Dublin, Ireland
21 Sep 16
YUP I AGREED...
@silvermist (19800)
• India
21 Sep 16
@Marilynda1225 I think you are the one needing the hugs-a lot of them..Everything will work out fine.
2 people like this
@Drosophila (16742)
• Ireland
21 Sep 16
I hope things improve again for her and you
2 people like this
@LoriAMoore (4856)
• United States
20 Sep 16
I certainly feel for your situation. Best wishes.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (73887)
• Canada
20 Sep 16
It is sad to watch them getting older and having to make those decisions that need to be made. I hope it all works out.
2 people like this
@sofssu (14493)
21 Sep 16
This must be really hard for you.. I hope things will settle down as she adjust with her surroundings.
1 person likes this
• Dublin, Ireland
21 Sep 16
YUP I AGREED...
@TRBRocks420 (73500)
• Banks, Oregon
21 Sep 16
Good to see you back and I hope things work out with your mom.
1 person likes this
• Dublin, Ireland
21 Sep 16
YUP I AGREED...
@hereandthere (28810)
• Philippines
21 Sep 16
mylot is always good place to receive support but also ideas worth looking into.
1 person likes this
• Dublin, Ireland
21 Sep 16
YUP I AGREED...
@responsiveme (14448)
• India
21 Sep 16
Sending you hugs back...I know these things are tough...I've been there..but we do it nevertheless..
1 person likes this
• Dublin, Ireland
21 Sep 16
YUP I AGREED...
1 person likes this