Why do I feel so sad when i am ignored by my collegues ?

By joy
Jinan, China
September 21, 2016 1:48pm CST
I do not understand why I am always be the one who will be ignored by my collegues? I have never quarrelled with any one of them. And I have never done anything that is not good for them. I treat them very sincerely as my friends but I always feel that I am the one who is least important in our six people's group . Whenever they decide anything, I am the one who is known at last. Whenever they decide what to eat or where to eat, I am always the one who never to be asked by them except that I ask them before they decide. Most of time, it seems I am not there and I am nobody. This makes me feel so sad and embarrassed and also makes me feel that I am totally a loser and so stupid. We already worked together more than five years but I am still nobody in their mind. I do not know how to do can I make it better. I am very confused now.
7 people like this
8 responses
@moirai (2261)
• Philippines
21 Sep 16
Maybe you can tell us a little more about the situation. What's your job? Is it office work? How often is the interaction between you and your colleagues when you are working? How often do you talk to them? Do you only talk to them about work? Is there ever a chance you talk about things other than work, like hobbies, likes and dislikes, personal stuff? Also, are these six (or five?) people your only colleagues? Are there other people in your company?
1 person likes this
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
I am a salesman in one export company. Its office work. And we stay together everyday. We talk everything with each other about life, children, hobbies. We are six madams who worked more than 5 years in our company so usually we get together to have lunch and everything together. Other workers are new comers or men. That's why i feel sad and think i am a loser. Most of time we are good and happy but sometime they let me feel i am nobody.
1 person likes this
@moirai (2261)
• Philippines
22 Sep 16
@joyjiao I see. Since you talk about all those personal things, would you say you have things in common with these colleagues of yours, or do you have different interests in general?
@Deepizzaguy (15491)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
21 Sep 16
Learn to say "I like myself as I am." I feel your pain since I have to deal with some people on the internet who claim to be my friend as long as I am their yes man. Like WG Ventures which is a company making a cartoon named Wordgirl Advance which should be on the internet in the fall of 2017. They like my fan fictions but only if I allowed them to control my original characters which was my biggest mistake.
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
i like myself as i am . I like your words so much. And also i am sorry to know that u have same expirence with me. But i think i will be ok soon.
1 person likes this
@Deepizzaguy (15491)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
22 Sep 16
@joyjiao Now one of the cretins that work there is telling me due to my witty humor I am not suited to promote the show. Okay those cretins might as well not heed my warning that they are going to hit an iceberg if they were in charge of a luxury ship.
@Deepizzaguy (15491)
• Lake Charles, Louisiana
23 Sep 16
@joyjiao There is a saying by actor Sylvester Stallone from the movie "Rocky Balboa" which is something like "Be willing 2 pay the price to achieve what you are worth." my feud with W G Ventures is that they think because I am an immigrant from Panama via the former Canal Zone I am their stepping stone. NOT!
@MALUSE (44612)
• Uzbekistan
21 Sep 16
Is there at least one person in the group you can trust? If so, I'd talk to this person about the impression you have of the group and their attitude towards you. Maybe they don't realise that they exclude you all the time.
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
Maybe u are right and I will have a try to talk with someone when there is a good chance. But thanks a lot.
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
Maybe u are right and I will have a try to talk with someone when there is a good chance. But thanks a lot.
@TheHorse (73471)
• Walnut Creek, California
22 Sep 16
Have you asked them?
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
Actually i am not. I am also disgusted at my cowardice.
• Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
21 Sep 16
You may have to move on. Sad but true. Just do the work and socialize elsewhere.
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
thanks so much and i will move on. Life will never stop for any reason.
1 person likes this
@grvdubey11 (1882)
• India
21 Sep 16
Do not think that you are loser or stupid, believe me people have strange reasons to ignore and hurt others. There are numerous examples where a friend or loving mate has left someone who did everything to make relationship work for no reason. Relationships are complex, its better to move on rather than feel sad about something which is not in your control. Let them be and find new friends.
• Jinan, China
22 Sep 16
I am totally agree with u.thank u. But anyway most of time they are good for me. And I am the one who will forget some unpleasant things soon. I can get recovery very soon. Only at that moment, I can not control to feel sad.
@crafty01 (336)
• Jamshedpur, India
23 Sep 16
It happens to many people but very few people express their disappointment, you see its not you. Case 1- I think like a businessman and team mates think like poets and authors, now I will think , its the money which runs the whole World, so I am the most important one, if not important the atleast recognized person in the team, but it does not happens. You can be the somebody very understanding caring, kind person but if there is no need for a person in that place then you will be invisible for them.You see diamonds are expensive not because they are rare but because demand is more than the supply and most importantly there is need for diamonds, others wise they pieces of carbon. Case -2- This is about similarities , if they find you are not their type then either you change for them or they change for you. Case- 4- Every member in the group or team is so occupied with their stuff, that they dont realize that you are left out, your senior intervention is required. Case- 3-Something really went wrong, may be you have to speak to your boss or employ relation person. Best of luck.
• Preston, England
22 Sep 16
They don't exclude you or you wouldn't feel among friends there at all - you could try widening your social circle, or organizing a social event and inviting your friends to it, also talk with each of your friends on a one to one basis rather than in a group environment - good luck