Oh dear.

@Jackalyn (6535)
Oxford, England
September 23, 2016 3:46pm CST
There really is nothing I can do. Mum rang at the end of her tether with Dad again. He winds her up, but is in a wheelchair, incontinent and de pendent. As usual I have no idea what the issue is and no solution. My parents are in their eighties and I live 70 miles away. Mum is Dad's carer and gets wound up and he can be really nasty. Most people in my Dad's position would be in a home. Telling Mum to let the carers who come morning and evening do the work doesn't help as she won't leave them alone to do it as they do not always do all that should be done. I wish I could help make life happy for them, -but I can't. This has happened for maybe 30 years now. I love them, but I wish there was a way to make my Dad speak out that he is grateful, I really do.
6 people like this
7 responses
@Happy2BeMe (70740)
• Canada
23 Sep 16
It is hard to watch your parents get older and even more so when you are at a distance and you can't help them. Is you Dad of mind that you talk to him and make him understand how difficult he is being. Your mom is clearly not ready to put him in a home even life would be easier for her if she did. As they get older they get more stubborn and set in their ways.
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6535)
• Oxford, England
24 Sep 16
Unfortunately all efforts to talk to my Dad draw a blank!
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (70740)
• Canada
24 Sep 16
@Jackalyn sorry to hear that
2 people like this
@marguicha (82944)
• Chile
23 Sep 16
Why are they having theses problems for 30 years? THey weren´t old then. I feel that a home is the best place for everyone if they can afford it.
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6535)
• Oxford, England
24 Sep 16
Because they have! Dad has been disabled since I was 12!
@MALUSE (33804)
• Denmark
23 Sep 16
Have you ever talked openly with your dad about the issue? Does he realise that the alternative is a home for him?
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6535)
• Oxford, England
24 Sep 16
He literally does not hear! He just becomes defensive.
@xFiacre (6693)
• Ireland
23 Sep 16
@jackalyn that's really distressing. Old age doesn't have a lot goimg for it.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6535)
• Oxford, England
26 Sep 16
Sadly, it does not.
@shaggin (29960)
• United States
25 Sep 16
Wow that is so sad this has been going on for 30 years.
1 person likes this
@just4him (96182)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
25 Sep 16
Maybe someday he will tell your mother he is grateful.
@Jackalyn (6535)
• Oxford, England
26 Sep 16
I so wish he would. It seems so awful to give your life up and be berated all the time. Most people as disabled would be in a home.
1 person likes this
@LoriAMoore (8015)
• United States
25 Sep 16
It has to e exhausting for your mom