Would You Allow Your Mother To Get Married Again?

marriage
@Shavkat (62505)
Philippines
September 23, 2016 8:10pm CST
My father died more than years now. I was thinking if my mom will find another love, will I allow her? For me, I think it is fine for her to find a new relationship and eventually, get married. Some of my relatives are arguing about this concern. However, my mother never thought of finding another man in her life. But I console her that she can do it and time change. If ever it happens, I will let happiness be in her life. Old folks in my country are still conservative with this kind of issue. They can’t even accept the fact that churches allow annulment in my country. For them, it is not morally accepted. What do you think? Is it an issue? Image Credit: pixabay.com
16 people like this
20 responses
@jaboUK (53922)
• United Kingdom
24 Sep 16
You will ALLOW her??? My goodness, it's her life and you nor anybody else has the right to tell her what she can do. You can advise, but certainly not tell her what she may do.
5 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I think it is the way Asian culture thinking. As I have said with the other responses. I will not hold nor control my mom's mind.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (53922)
• United Kingdom
24 Sep 16
@Shavkat That's good, I'd hate to see that Asia still regards women as second class creatures.
4 people like this
@LadyDuck (157088)
• Switzerland
24 Sep 16
Janet, I had the same reaction.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74744)
• Canada
24 Sep 16
I think if your mother chooses so then she should be happy. When my dad passed away my mom didn't want no other. She always said she had the best with my dad and no other man could compare. Whatever she chooses to do is her choice and it is nice that you are supportive of her decision. You are good son.
5 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
Actually, I was just thinking the possibility. My mom doesn't want to find anyone after my father left us.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74744)
• Canada
24 Sep 16
@Shavkat she may be content just the way things are now
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
@Happy2BeMe I think she is, my friend.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (14571)
• Germany
24 Sep 16
I am glad that you are an openminded person and that you allow your mother to get married again. It is hard for a woman to live in the Philippnes because of double morality. Your relatives should think about the happiness of your mother than argueing about your mothers adult life. She is entitled to marry again whatever you and her relatives think about it. But watch her choose the man, he might be a drinker or something bad. You are there to support your mother. Happy weekend!
5 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I totally agree with you. Some commenters cannot understand the context of our culture. The morality issue is the biggest thing to consider. As I've said, I am open to possibilities.
3 people like this
@marsha32 (6693)
• United States
24 Sep 16
That's a loaded question! If my mom had a man, she could live with him instead of us!
3 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
I hope it would not end like that.
1 person likes this
@marsha32 (6693)
• United States
1 Oct 16
@Shavkat that my mom would find a man? She has a man friend, but he tells her he just wants to be friends. They talk on the phone a couple hours every day, but never see each other in person.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
1 Oct 16
@marsha32 That seems a kind of platonic friendship. Don't you think so.
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
24 Sep 16
Your mother is an adult so you have no say-so in her love life or lack of it. If she meets the right guy, sparks will fly.
3 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
If ever she planned to remarry again, then it would be fine. I will support her all throughout.
2 people like this
@akalinus (15720)
• United States
24 Sep 16
@Shavkat You are a good son.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
@akalinus Thank you, my dear friend.
2 people like this
@PatZAnthony (12649)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
24 Sep 16
In the United States, we have no say over what our parents do. A widow or widower could easily get married without the permission of their children.
3 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I agree with you. In your country, there will be no problem with such concern. Since people are open minded, unlike in my country.
@marguicha (94563)
• Chile
24 Sep 16
As I see it, even the word "allow" does not belong to my culture. I´d say, how dare my children have a say in what I do!
3 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
Well, I think it is in the culture context. But then, I also disagree with the old folks' perception.
@sol_cee (15428)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
24 Sep 16
I always tease my mom about having a crush.
2 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I also do the same thing even my granny. She won't feel bad since granny is groovy as compared to others.
@sol_cee (15428)
• Saint Vincent And The Grenadines
24 Sep 16
@Shavkat grandma having a crush? Wow.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
@sol_cee I am teasing her because she keeps on talking about the priest in the church.
@marlina (73885)
• Canada
24 Sep 16
To say it frankly, it is not "up to you" to allow it or not. Your Mom is her own person and can make her own decisions. It isn't the dark ages anymore.
2 people like this
@thelme55 (14571)
• Germany
25 Sep 16
@marlina, it seems that it is still dark ages in the minds of the old people in the Philippines.
1 person likes this
@marlina (73885)
• Canada
25 Sep 16
@thelme55 It does seem that way, doesn't it?
@responsiveme (16075)
• India
24 Sep 16
I can understand that , this culture is prevalent in India too. But things are opening up and if people find happiness again who are we to get in their way. You are a good son:)
2 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I think that people should find their happiness. For widow or widower, they can find their love to others.
1 person likes this
@topffer (34126)
• France
24 Sep 16
It is a good thing that you are looking only to the happiness of your mother, but I never heard that parents had to ask the consent of their children to marry again. They are adults, they do what they want.
2 people like this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
It is in our country's culture. Regardless, it wasn't a consent from her children. The concern is what the relatives will say against her.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (157088)
• Switzerland
24 Sep 16
Allow my Mother? She is a grown up woman and she can do what she wants without asking permission to her children or relatives.
2 people like this
@EMbakes (1152)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
In country, majority of the people is still narrow minded. It's as if it's a mortal sin if one chooses to be with someone new. Your mother is lucky to have you.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
I think I am so lucky to have her.
1 person likes this
@EMbakes (1152)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
@Shavkat That's so sweet of you.
@Loverabbit (1306)
• Zamboanga City, Philippines
25 Sep 16
If only your mom is willing enough for a marriage then yes indeed she should be arranged a marriage cause life is better off when you have the support of one who understands you better and truely only a husband knows his wife better than anyone
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
25 Sep 16
If she plans to do it, there is no refusal from me.
1 person likes this
• Zamboanga City, Philippines
25 Sep 16
@Shavkat thats like a good mature son, even if she doesn't plan such and she is ready to mingle I wouldn't mind it
1 person likes this
@ms1864 (6992)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 16
i won't mind it ...but my mom will never even think of remarrying any one after my dad passes...
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
I guess my mom is considering to marry again. She will continue to love my father and her family.
1 person likes this
@ms1864 (6992)
• Bangalore, India
24 Sep 16
In that case , she is lucky to have you as her son.
1 person likes this
@ourlot (995)
1 Oct 16
My mother is almost 90 years old, so I don't believe she'll marry again any time soon. But in any case, we are no one to give orders to our parents or to allow (or disallow) them to marry or anything else.
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
2 Oct 16
It is her choice if she wants to. We don't have the rights to control our parents lives.
@shivamani10 (11233)
• Hyderabad, India
24 Sep 16
Definitely. It may work out better for people of your age. But, not for Old people., They can move on with their life just living in the memories of their beloved partner. That is enough. What all you can do is not to raise such issues in front of her.. If not, she may feel very bad about you and may event desert you.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (62505)
• Philippines
24 Sep 16
It is easy to say, right? I am just being open to whatever she wishes to have in her life. That's the reason why I still consider the thoughts of old folks about it.
@RADICAL11 (189)
• Delhi, India
24 Sep 16
How can one regulate mum's decision making? How is this authority justified? Why should Mum not start afresh? Well, I am really hurt to observe that a child wants to regulate mum's life and her wishes and desires.
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (25176)
• Atlanta, Georgia
2 Oct 16
Not at all, here, children have nothing to say about what their mothers do. We do exactly what we want to. Do you mean your mother can't remarry unless you give her permission?
@XinfulThotz (4187)
• Singapore, Singapore
24 Sep 16
I think it is only fair to her after all her contributions to be able to go into a new relationship and eventually get married.