Distractions can be a good thing.

Peoria, Arizona
September 28, 2016 6:19am CST
Depression has finally made the full fledge passage in my brain. I have been feeling it for a month now since my move and now it is getting to me hard. I was lashing out at anyone who was being an idiot, even people who just used "lol" which is a pet peeve of mine that I normally keep surpressed. I am just having a hard time with lonliness. I was around my ex for a long time and now I am just sitting here all alone. And people have the audacity to ask me, "do you miss him?" NO I do not miss HIM. I miss the company. I do not miss HIS company. I have to get used to not seeing someone all the time. I have had to deal with it before, many times actually, and I know how it feels. It sucks. I have had my few cries and I just need to get myself distracted. I have to focus on my creations because that is the best way to let things out. Just getting distracted. I was losing interest in things because I was so preoccupied with, "why I am feeling this way?" I kept going through the feeling of that I was just not good enough and that is why everything felt like it was crumbling. It's not though. I just miss the feeling of meaning something to someone and seeing that someone constantly. I just have to get over that feeling though. I will find that person that means a lot to me and I mean a lot to them, whether that be a friend or a new partner. I have my mother, my grandma, my panda stuffie Mikey, and my writing. I just need to be distracted. Since I know my problem and it really is nothing I have control over since it is a form of losing a rut in life, distractions are good. People think, "you cannot just push this problem aside." It is not really a problem that can be fixed right now. I mean, I'm dating someone, that is kind of fixing the problem and it would be completely fixed if I got to see that someone more often, but that is something that cannot be control. So, yeah. I cried it out and I am focusing on my projects. It is what is best.
2 people like this
3 responses
@NJChicaa (47407)
• United States
28 Sep 16
It just takes time to adjust to the change. Unfortunately you can't rush it.
1 person likes this
• Peoria, Arizona
28 Sep 16
Indeed. I wish I could speed up the process but the human brain cannot do that haha
2 people like this
• Mumbai, India
28 Sep 16
don't worry just work hard to get focused
1 person likes this
• Peoria, Arizona
28 Sep 16
That is what I am doing. Even though it is hard, working is what makes me happy.
1 person likes this
@CinnamonGrl (6074)
• Paradise, California
28 Sep 16
I will try to help you out by trying to control my 'lol". I know what you mean about finding that person with whom you share that deep connection, and who you can see often. Over the years, I lost my desire for that to be anyone but a good friend. But I was much happier when I regained that kind of friendship with someone close by. It does make a big difference in one's life.
• Peoria, Arizona
28 Sep 16
You don't have to control it! Haha, it is mostly people who ONLY reply with Lol and nothing after it. It is terrible. I wish I could have at least a good friend to see and spend time with but everyone I know is always busy, and the person I am dating is very busy so I cannot hold it against them. But we will all find that someone who will just make us happy for eternity.
1 person likes this