Secrets and Gossip
By sofs
@sofssu (23662)
September 28, 2016 10:55am CST
I am constantly bombarded with secrets or juicy gossip in a group of which I am a member. This is a online craft group. Each member has made it their responsibility to warn me about the misdeeds and faults of the other members. I was told today by three people not to conduct any business with some members. At first I was glad to have been warned.. but now I see that this is a trend I don't care too much about.
On the group the same members talk to each other and joke around.. But they seem to be indulging in character assignation behind each others back. This morning I decided enough was enough .. and I told each of them that I am willing to take risks with people. I do not want to be party to their secrets and gossips. I may have lost a couple of friends there.. But I am okay with that.. I want to make my stand clear.
How do you deal with such secrets and gossip? Do you tell people off or just listen to them and keep quite or take part in the gossip?
18 people like this
20 responses
@salonga (27775)
• Philippines
28 Sep 16
It is okay to lose them for they don't seem to be a good company. Proverbs 20:19 has this warning: " Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler. "
IF they could slander others, they could at any moment do the same thing to you so you did the right thing.
4 people like this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
29 Sep 16
'n that's partly why i'm a loner :) i aint prone to tellin' folks off, jest remind 'em that i don't care to hear what they've to say.
3 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@crazyhorseladycx Good to see you back, I don't want to tell anyone off.. but I don't want people to bad mouth each other to me.
1 person likes this
@crazyhorseladycx (39515)
• United States
30 Sep 16
@sofssu thanks, hon. takin 't easy here, but'm mostly back. noperz, i dislike folks like that - those who're friendly to ones face 'n then stabbin' 'em'n the back the moment they turn 'round. jest aint right :(
@celticeagle (159008)
• Boise, Idaho
28 Sep 16
It's like junior high all over again. When working at the last job I worked I had this going on. One woman was palsy with everyone and knew everyone's business. I didn't talk with her much. She asked me one day if something was wrong and I told her I didn't go in for gossip. You know what she told me? "Oh, I don't either!" Goodness.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@celticeagle LOL Its really funny when they deny it.. Did you have a fit hearing it? Laughing fit I mean.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
28 Sep 16
it's hard when it's a true, IE Bob scammed someone. you know?
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@Jessicalynnt All these are such messages.. But we really don't know who scammed whom.. Its all about exchanging material or buy excess material from the other.. Sometimes peoples perceptions are different.
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (50525)
• Centralia, Missouri
30 Sep 16
@sofssu I guess one can only be cautious, and pay close attention to detail, and save every communication
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
28 Sep 16
I'm not patient, I hate gossip and won't put up with it. I would probably blow all of them out of the water and remove myself from the website.... Life is too short to put up with petty crap from anyone... I have walked away from this before and I missed it for an hour and then took a big breath and moved on... Hardest thing I ever did was to remove a friend ( I thought was a really good friend) from my life when I discovered she was telling my pre-teen not to listen to my husband because he should do what he wants....sigh... My son grew up well and hers ended in big time trouble.
2 people like this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@PainsOnSlate I can totally relate to what you are saying here.. I am waiting and watching if this continues i might take a call to quit the group.
1 person likes this
@much2say (53959)
• Los Angeles, California
28 Sep 16
I suppose this must be a human tendency . . . it seems like every group I deal with has a bit of this going on. I will hear out whatever anyone has to say, but I don't necessarily "listen" to them . . . in the end it's about my experience with a person and how we deal with each other. I just make sure I'm not the one spreading gossip around because one day it just might bite me back.
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (14752)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
28 Sep 16
Some conversations are better left unshared. We can walk away if things are too personal or really make us uncomfortable.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@PatZAnthony These online chats are in my box.. even if I don't respond to them..
@AbbyGreenhill (45496)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Sounds like a group that why you need to leave. Why deal with all that?
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@AbbyGreenhill They have some good projects that interest me.. You are right , if this kind of nasty dealings keep happening I will soon leave the group.. Not worth sticking around such people, having said that not everyone is like this..
@DaddyEvil (137145)
• United States
27 Nov 17
You know, I remember when I first met you here on myLot... Do you remember helping and talking to someone who wanted to play here but wasn't sure how? Do you remember how reluctant I was to bother anyone about anything? You always come across to people as someone who is always willing to help, is always willing to listen to our problems and has time you will spare to make sure things go well.
Just like I sensed that about you when I started here, I believe others can sense that about you, too. (I've always thought that was a good way to be
.)
Hmmm... the only group I belong to is myLot, Sofs. I do know some of the people here pretty well, in my opinion, but haven't found anything that I felt others needed to know about them.
I am always open with others here. What you see is what you get, online or offline.
I guess I've never had to deal with that type of exchange in a group dynamics. Sorry, I can't help you with this problem...
.)
Hmmm... the only group I belong to is myLot, Sofs. I do know some of the people here pretty well, in my opinion, but haven't found anything that I felt others needed to know about them.
I am always open with others here. What you see is what you get, online or offline.
I guess I've never had to deal with that type of exchange in a group dynamics. Sorry, I can't help you with this problem...
@1creekgirl (40515)
• United States
28 Sep 16
Good for you! We must take a stand at times.
1 person likes this
@sofssu (23662)
•
29 Sep 16
@1creekgirl I hate these gossips..It won't allow me to interact with people normally and come to my own conclusions.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (90722)
• Philippines
3 Nov 16
I would do the same as you , i would tell them i don't care about each other secrets and would still be friends with them .
Hey , where are you now ? What is keeping you so busy , you haven't peeked in here since this post of yours ?
Hey , where are you now ? What is keeping you so busy , you haven't peeked in here since this post of yours ?
@epiffanie (11326)
• Australia
17 Oct 16
Before anyone say anything to me about anybody, I tell them that it's none of my business to know whatever it is ..
@sueznewz2 (10409)
• Alicante, Spain
1 Oct 16
I have a similar problem..... mainly in the work place ..as my friends know I don't indulge in gossip so they don't include me in that loop..but most of them feel the same about gossip too... but like you I tell people I don't want to hear it..., sometimes that means you may not get included in conversations , but that's ok by me... I do not want to listen to that sort of thing ...
@ridingbet (66857)
• Philippines
30 Sep 16
i stay away from people who gossip, and i make sure i won't be a subject for gossip; i do my work and i have to interact with others so i will not be talked about.
@jennyjoy (1961)
• Bangalore, India
29 Sep 16
Secrets yes .Gossip is cut there and then.I just stare at them till they dry up.
