Thoughts at 3 am September 30th.

@TRBRocks420 (77272)
Banks, Oregon
September 30, 2016 5:29am CST
It's been one of those days. Let me tell you, but it wasn't anyone's fault, but my own this time and, of course the one below, that nobody likes to talk about the Devil. Anyway I already said too much about him, but I think we all know, he's every bad thing that comes our way in life. I ended up turning on country music again, as my brain kept going on about all the messed up things in life. I don't know why I do it. I don't like it. I hate it. I like to be happy and, laugh, usually watching either funny shows or educational shows and, of course share my opinion's about all the things I love with you guys, but for some reason, if I'm not stoned. I'm not able to block out all the bad things. I guess I am going to have to say the bad things, like two of my favorite Grandparents aren't here anymore. I lost them both long before I was ready for them to go or my cat Smokey, still kills me to even think about sober, that I will never see him again. I am also worried about my sister, about my Dad or you think about how different things used to be and, they never will be again or the people you were close too, who you're just a stranger to now. I know this post started as a major downer, but the good news is I am in a better place now that I got my meds, but I pray to God there could be a way for me to do it with out meds. I would still smoke weed, because I love it, but I wouldn't have to have it, just to enjoy things right.
16 people like this
14 responses
@just4him (116693)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Sep 16
I'm so sorry things aren't going right at the moment. Yes, it does all come from one place and person. My prayers are with you today that things will turn around for you.
4 people like this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
Thank you my friend. I can use all the prayers I can get, things are getting better now, that I have my meds, now I just need sleep and, I will be good as new.
3 people like this
@just4him (116693)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
30 Sep 16
@TRBRocks420 I've been up since 3. I don't know if that means I'll need a nap later, though I did get a full night's sleep having gone to bed early last night. I'm glad things are getting better.
2 people like this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
@just4him I think I might just stay up until I take Rooger for a walk and, then go to bed, but I also might end up taking a nap undecided lol.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (36425)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 16
as long as its just weed , and your prescriptions, why not? sounds like that helps. i hate taking them also but no choice at times
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
I don't hate taking it I love it, but I hate having to have it or being miserable.
1 person likes this
@bunnybon7 (36425)
• Holiday, Florida
30 Sep 16
@TRBRocks420 oh i see. hard to come by i guess
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
@bunnybon7 it is when you have less money then Al Bundy lol.
@allen0187 (33125)
• Philippines
1 Oct 16
Hang in there buddy! We're all cheering for you to get through this slump!
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Oct 16
Doing much better today thanks.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (33125)
• Philippines
1 Oct 16
@TRBRocks420 good to know that man.
@toniganzon (49796)
• Philippines
1 Oct 16
Hugs to you. Hope that helps make you feel better. I believe someday you won't be needing the meds.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Oct 16
I believe that too and, you know the main reason I need them is because I am not happy with the people I have to be around sometimes, if I could ever be at a peaceful place. I wouldn't need them that much.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (49796)
• Philippines
1 Oct 16
@TRBRocks420 yeah the people around us can help us or destroy us. I remember getting away and moving to another country for 6 months.
1 person likes this
@amadeo (65592)
• United States
30 Sep 16
It is not a downer.Just time out for you.To revaluate your self.You are not talking too much.Just want to get this out of your system. We understand there my friend.Remember positive is the answer there.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
Thank you my friend. Life just isn't how I think it should be.
@amadeo (65592)
• United States
30 Sep 16
@TRBRocks420 well my friend.If you need anything just give a holler there.I am here to help.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27651)
• United States
30 Sep 16
Life throws many curve balls our way. We have to either try to avoid them or deal with them head on. I have had many changes in my life, many family members have passed away through that time. The family dynamic also has changed. But I have to stay focused and move forward. I also have kids so I live for them at this point. Running away from things never helps the situation. I am sure you know that. Stay positive as much as possible. And music always soothes the soul.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
Yeah I am happy and positive most of the time, but there is times when things get to much.
1 person likes this
@inertia4 (27651)
• United States
30 Sep 16
@TRBRocks420 I know that feeling. I have been there many times in my life. But you're too young to be stressed out though.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (38216)
• United States
30 Sep 16
I am glad you have your meds and can get control of you mind again. When the darkness comes praying is the best way to block it out, ask your grandparents to help you, they are in a place where they can do that!! I talk to my aunt who was a nun all the time, she never lets me down, she has connections !! I know you can pray to God directly don't get me wrong but it is nice to have someone you know on that side rooting for you.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
1 Oct 16
Thank you and, I talk to God a lot and, pray all the time, should try talking to my Grandparents more often, that might help.
@CinnamonGrl (5807)
• Paradise, California
30 Sep 16
A lot of us need help, TR. We all wish we didn't, but personally I feel no shame about it. I don't hang out with the judgey on here or anywhere else. Those losses you mention are tough ones. I miss my former husband every day. He was still a best friend. I'm glad you felt better by the end of this post. I like to escape into the funny shows, too. I've been watching Doc Martin streaming, which has a little drama but is mostly amusing. I like to escape into Portwenn, their pretty little seaside village.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
I don't feel any shame about it either, but it pisses me off all the bs in life. I just don't understand why God lets it be like it is.
@Dena91 (4211)
• United States
30 Sep 16
Praying things look brighter for you.
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
Thank you.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (16512)
• South Africa
30 Sep 16
I love September so I am sad to see it end . . .
1 person likes this
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
I like September too, but I also like October.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (40026)
• United States
30 Sep 16
You definitely need to find a way to live life without weed 24/7.
1 person likes this
@marsha32 (6693)
• United States
1 Oct 16
Satan sure can do us in if we allow him to, that is for sure!
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (105933)
• United States
30 Sep 16
We all have days when those negative racing thoughts makes us a bit miserable. The meds really are necessary, so I suppose being thankful for them would help makes one think more positively. Brain chemistry just needs adjusting at times, so it is good meds can do that.
@TRBRocks420 (77272)
• Banks, Oregon
30 Sep 16
Yeah, it happens to the best of us, nobody alive has an easy road in this world.
1 person likes this
@sallypup (27047)
• Moses Lake, Washington
1 Oct 16
May you wake rested and free in spirit. I wish you the best.