An accident waiting to happen...

@JolietJake (51067)
United States
October 6, 2016 2:54am CST
Sometimes I wonder...if abortion had been legal in the USA before 1973, would any of us 7 kids in the family be here today? It's a valid question...none of us were planned, we were all 'accidents' according to Mom...and I never heard her state that any of us were actually wanted... So I have spent 56 years as an 'accident', and 36 of those knowing I was an accident. I don't know if the other 6 kids are aware of this or not...so I probably won't tell them. But there are some days when I am really curious...would I be here if Mom had been able to get an abortion? I'll never know...since she's dead, I can't ask her, and I don't think this is a topic I could really discuss with Dad. "Accidentally like a martyr The hurt gets worse And the heart gets harder"
From the compilation A Quiet Normal Life
20 people like this
21 responses
@much2say (40841)
• United States
6 Oct 16
I have a friend who is the youngest of all his many siblings . . . I don't know exactly how many but apparently the gap in his age to the next oldest is really big - so they are all way older than he is. He says his parents had a "hiccup" when he was born . . . so he calls himself a "hiccup" !
5 people like this
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
6 Oct 16
We were all fairly close together...'56, '57, '60, '65, '66, '67 and '69
3 people like this
@much2say (40841)
• United States
6 Oct 16
@JolietJake Wow, that really is super close! Accident or not, they made the choice of raising you all, so that says something right there.
2 people like this
@much2say (40841)
• United States
6 Oct 16
@topffer Oh my goodness! Then your mother's mother must have had her oldest sister when she was very young!! How sad the sister passed away so young too.
1 person likes this
@topffer (36628)
• Singapore, Singapore
6 Oct 16
Not a very nice thing to tell to a child... but 7 accidents ?
4 people like this
@Morleyhunt (19266)
• Canada
6 Oct 16
One accident I can understand, but seven? Surely by then they knew what was causing these accidents? My parents had eight children. The first was the 'perfect' child. None of the rest of us ever measured up. Oh, the damage parents can do to their children. Surprise or planned, all five of my children were loved (an knew it). Sometimes Gods plan and mine were not quite the same....
3 people like this
@Morleyhunt (19266)
• Canada
6 Oct 16
@JolietJake that is sad. My husband and I always said, we couldn't get divorced...neither of us was willing to be only a part time parent...our youngest was an oops. We referred to her as our bonus. She is unique. She's one of five but it many ways she is an only child..... From the moment I knew I was carrying her, she was loved and wanted.
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (86455)
• Philippines
6 Oct 16
Didn't you ever ask your mother why she called you all an "accident " ?
3 people like this
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
6 Oct 16
There was no need to ask, it was plain from the conversation that none of us were planned births.
3 people like this
@SIMPLYD (86455)
• Philippines
6 Oct 16
@JolietJake I guess , if i were you i would feel hurt .
2 people like this
@Daljinder (22181)
• India
6 Oct 16
Me and my brother are only year and half apart but the second brother of mine wasn't planned according to my Mom. He is almost 10 years younger than me. My parents had taken care of one other pregnancy before he was born as they didn't want any more kids. But the existence of this brother of mine was found late so they had no choice but go along with the pregnancy. I am not sure if my brother knows this or not. I hope he doesn't. He and Mom are very close. But knowing things like that can ruin pretty good relationships.
3 people like this
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
6 Oct 16
It is something I would rather not have known, especially as it came up in a conversation about abortion.
2 people like this
@franxav (5932)
6 Oct 16
If abortions had been legal before 1973 many of the writers, poets, artists, scientists, humanitarians and many others who have been making the world a better place would have been killed by their mothers.
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
6 Oct 16
And perhaps some of those that make it a bad place, as well...
1 person likes this
@nanette64 (18193)
• Fairfield, Texas
6 Oct 16
Since I was born in '51, Mom didn't have a choice @JolietJake , however I know that she wasn't happy with having 6 kids. Dad's plan was to have a football team. Unfortunately he only had 2 boys out of the 6. He would have continued if Mom hadn't told him, "Oh hell no!"
3 people like this
@marlina (80526)
• Canada
6 Oct 16
I am number 6 and I am quite sure that I was not planned.
3 people like this
@saulgoodman (2654)
• Dundee, Scotland
7 Oct 16
MY mother bless her honesty once told me that if abortion had been legal in Scotland in 1960 I wouldn't be here. I suspect that had it been legal in 1945 she wouldn't be here. Therefore neither would I.
2 people like this
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
7 Oct 16
1960 huh? I didn't realize we are pretty much the exact age then
2 people like this
• Dundee, Scotland
7 Oct 16
@JolietJake Aye. I will be 56 in December.
2 people like this
@Marty1 (37991)
• Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
7 Oct 16
@jolietjake I always breathed a sigh of relief i was born almost in 1972 (my birthday is the last week of December 1971) if she would have aborted, I just figure my grandma on my dad's side were very religious, and if found out she did that she would be kicked out of the family. My mom had told me once she didn't want kids she was having a fun time without them. But I like to think i am wanted at least by my dad because he was perfect and loved me so much! He showed it every day of his life. I don't have either parent to ask anymore, but i do have my sister and my uncle acts like my dad taking me to doctors appointments and therapist appointments as I am too afraid to drive! My aunt and sister also treat me like they are my mom!
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (12995)
• United States
7 Oct 16
You were never an accident in God's eyes, JJ. I suspect there are lives you've touched that would have been poorer for not having known you.
2 people like this
@RitzzView (2758)
• India
6 Oct 16
Such a sensitive topic. I am really sorry that you had to hear the word 'accident' addressed to you. I seriously have no clue what to say!
2 people like this
@JudyEv (141362)
• Bunbury, Australia
6 Oct 16
I was born 8 years (exactly) after my siblings (boy and girl twins) s i think I was probably an 'accident' too. But I never felt anything but loved.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (35203)
• Canada
6 Oct 16
I'm 11 months younger then my brother Mike, and I was told on numerous occasions that I was an accident. And I believe that part of it was because of the timing, but the other part was because I was a girl and they needed another farm hand-nice thing to tell a child repeatedly over the years. I remember my mother talking about my mother-in-law in the days after she passed. There are 8 kids in my husband's family, and my mother made a comment, well at least she didn't resort to abortion because she could have given the fact that they couldn't afford all of those children. Harsh words, but the last time that I checked you didn't need a credit check to have kids. I wouldn't think that anyone who would tell you that you are an accident is perfect themselves, sorry, I don't normally talk like that about someone who has passed, but that is my experience.
2 people like this
@XinfulThotz (4184)
• Singapore, Singapore
6 Oct 16
accidents and unplanned doesn't mean you are unwanted?? it was just that it came as a surprise to her when she got pregnant with you?
1 person likes this
@JolietJake (51067)
• United States
6 Oct 16
But I was never told I was wanted, or that she was glad I was born...much the opposite, really
3 people like this
• Singapore, Singapore
6 Oct 16
@JolietJake maybe she is just not good at expressing her love for you...
1 person likes this
• Dundee, Scotland
7 Oct 16
@JolietJake I can relate to that. I was unplanned and unwanted and I think as a result unloved and sad to say she went on to have 2 more who I know she said the same things to. Makes you wonder about our conceptions.
3 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (47879)
• Centralia, Missouri
17 Oct 16
somethings are what they are, and since we cannot control others actions or thoughts, it's best to simply move on. but this requires a hug. -hugs-
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
18 Oct 16
@JolietJake yeah, something that level of hurt, really no point if they didnt know they are better off I'd think
1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5430)
• India
12 Oct 16
I don't think I was ever planned for, but since I was conceived anyway, got all the attention, care and whatever a youngest child is entitled to...
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (34390)
• Philippines
11 Oct 16
You are seven children - seven accidents hardly makes it an accident in my opinion.
1 person likes this
@paigea (22675)
• Canada
9 Oct 16
My mom always joked that we were accidents. And I think she was at least partly serious. But we were loved and cared for.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
3 Dec 16
qoq tghubj tgat way long it coud corrode your well being best to be glad that aboretion was noit legal then I get the feeling that inspite of so many siblings you werre close to your mom aws I rem,ber when shedied some ,moron here onmykotmade an insyukltingremark about your mion and you really told him off too