Staring at the ceiling at 1 am
October 7, 2016 8:04am CST
This is what I was doing at 1 am. Staring at the ceiling. Sometimes I am, well ok isn't the right word, I am never ok. Managing maybe. Many times I am not. I have online and cell support, but not much actually HERE. Oh his family would come help, but I don't want that. It's his family, you know? So here I am trudging along. I'm working on maybe getting FMLA from work, so I can prolong decision making. I know I can't work at the moment. I did find a visual that is helping with every nasty or painful mental movie that starts running through my conscious head. I picture a great big sea monster, like the one from Jurassic Park, OR a big whale that jumps and just bites all the movie and takes it away down below the water to digest it where I don't have to see. Odd, but if it helps break up the movies in my mind. I am not going to knock it. Will there be a poem tomorrow? Shoot I don't know. I might just offer one up for ya'll and not write my own. Not sure you would want to read what I have in my heart right now. Not sure I have the heart to string anything together.
22 people like this
• Centralia, Missouri
I am trying to get approved for family medical leave, it's in processing right now. I cant work though, if I dont get approved on that I will just have to quit. I have shifted where I am closer to in real life friends (am currently living with one), and family.
• Centralia, Missouri
@arthurchappell still fighting for it, but honestly if I dont get it, I could be done with dealing with it, which while not as financially good, would also be ok. I will have to start looking for work here. I have a few leads, but the one really good job is FT, and honestly i dont want FT right now, I need more time to heal
• New Delhi, India
@Jessicalynnt,I can understand what you must be feeling on such moments.I often find myself in the same situation.Whenever it happens I try to detach myself from the restlessness and go out for a long walk [if I have time] or read books of fairy tales.
• Marion, Kansas
I have not been exactly where you are, but had some serious sleep disturbing things. I found it good to get out of bed, go sit in the recliner and turn on the Weather Channel have some cocoa and just rest, until I slept.