Pushing him away

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

24 Oct 16

It wont work out whilst nikki is still married and has a boyfriend.

2 people like this

April

@thislittlepennyearns (58103)

• Defuniak Springs, Florida

24 Oct 16

@saulgoodman Couldn't agree with this statement more. If a marriage is over you don't still play house while pushing him away, you get the heck out of there and end the marriage. It seems like you are having a hard time moving on and letting go.

2 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@Happy2BeMe Thank you. Your about one of few who support my decisions.

1 person likes this

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

24 Oct 16

Omg. Your kids. I forgot to mention them. You are only 32. Kids still young. Ditch the boyfriend until your marriage is over if you wish to retain the moral high ground. Is this boyfriend known to the kids? He should know better than mess with a married woman with young kids. What a mess.

5 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

My husband is the reason why the 2 oldest are adopted out.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@saulgoodman Yeah. Long story. I am depressed a lot about it and pray I don't lose the one I have now.

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

25 Oct 16

@carebear29 Oh god I had no idea.

1 person likes this

Yuki

@yukimori (10142)

• United States

24 Oct 16

What you need to do is get your ducks in a row and leave. Pushing him away isn't going to do anything but give him more justification for whatever cheating he happens to be doing. He had to do it because you were pushing him away, you know. That sort of BS. Do the responsible thing and just move on. Honestly, at this point your actions aren't any better than his. The longer you live like this the longer you're teaching your kids that this is how relationships are supposed to be.

5 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@yukimori Thanks I am thinking of doing so. @charlie09 thanks.

Yuki

@yukimori (10142)

• United States

24 Oct 16

@charlie09 It's an idiom that means that you need to arrange all the small details before taking the next big step.

If you like that one, you might get a kick out of 'box of fluffy ducks,' too. Apparently in New Zealand if you're happy you're a box of fluffy ducks.

1 person likes this

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

24 Oct 16

Both as not so good as each other.

1 person likes this

@acelawrites

@acelawrites (19273)

• Philippines

24 Oct 16

Settle everything first before getting into another relationship. It could worsen your problem.

3 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

I know thanks

April

@thislittlepennyearns (58103)

• Defuniak Springs, Florida

24 Oct 16

What you need to do is just walk away.

2 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

Just thinking of packing and leaving

1 person likes this

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

24 Oct 16

Hello. Well You dont want to be married anymore. Then pethaps you need to leave and divorce him on the grounds of his adultery. I think your friend on mylot who gave you the advice to start pushi g him away and act single was wrong with a capital W. You have a boyfriend. Doesnt that make you aa bad if not worse than him. Shouldnt you be squeaky clean if you are accusing him of cheating. If you already have a boyfriend on tbe side can you explain to me exactly what your husband has lost. I dont get that bit. You say he has cheated so many times. If he loved you he wouldnt have done that If he respected you and your marriage he wouldnt have done that. What does your husband say about your having a boyfriend? Get divorcedd. Your marriage sounds like it was over lo g ago. From both points of view. So how do I do as a marriage guidance counsellor?

5 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

He won't do marriage counciling. Tried

1 person likes this

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

25 Oct 16

@carebear29 Just divorce him

2 people like this

pumpkinjam

@pumpkinjam (8528)

• United Kingdom

16 May 17

That's kind of what I did with my ex. Well, I didn't have another boyfriend and my ex had didn't take much pushing away! I lived as though he was just someone who happened to be in the same house, trying to make him realise that we didn't have a relationship any more (because he didn't get the message when I told him). Not the ideal thing to do and, if I'd had a choice, I'd have left him a lot sooner than I did. But everything worked out in the end. I hope it does for you.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

17 May 17

when i do push him away, he tries to fix things but goes back to his old ways again shortly after

1 person likes this

pumpkinjam

@pumpkinjam (8528)

• United Kingdom

17 May 17

@carebear29 sounds familiar. My ex would go out drinking every night. He'd say he would spend more time with us. He might then spend one or two nights at home but he'd create arguments and use that as an excuse to go out again! If your husband isn't willing or able to work things out long term, it's just wasting your time and effort to try.

1 person likes this

snowy

@snowy22315 (169641)

• United States

31 Oct 16

Some people are incapable of change

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

31 Oct 16

True that

allen0187

@allen0187 (58438)

• Philippines

25 Oct 16

So sorry to hear about this. You need to settle some things first before getting into another relationship. Jumping into one (I know that you are into one already as you wrote that you have a boyfriend) or being into one will further complicate things. Perhaps, you have indeed given up on your husband. At least try to be civil with one another at least for your children. They will be the biggest ones adversely affected by all of this.

1 person likes this

allen0187

@allen0187 (58438)

• Philippines

25 Oct 16

@carebear29 you are welcome. Stay strong.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@allen0187 Thanks I will

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

I know thank you

1 person likes this

Dominique

@dodo19 (47038)

• Beaconsfield, Quebec

24 Oct 16

You have to do what is best for you. If this is what you want to do, then you have to start planning for it. I hope it all works out for you.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

Thanks. It seems like I am being bashed on my lifestyle

2 people like this

lifestyle

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@saulgoodman Probably. Thanks

1 person likes this

@saulgoodman (2643)

• Dundee, Scotland

25 Oct 16

@carebear29 I think its more we are worried about you nikki

3 people like this

Tina Dalasinski

@Tina30219 (81539)

• Onaway, Michigan

10 Nov 16

I hope things get better for you and you can be happy. Does your husband know you are not happy with him anymore? If you have a boyfriend and are happy with him I say go for it. But be careful how you do this especially with kids involved. I know all about this because I went through a divorce and it was messy.

1 person likes this

Tina Dalasinski

@Tina30219 (81539)

• Onaway, Michigan

11 Nov 16

@carebear29 Good you need to be happy. Has your kids met the boyfriend or you holding off on that? Please be careful in whatever you do.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

11 Nov 16

@Tina30219 My son is 5 and knows him yes

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

11 Nov 16

I am watching my own every move right now. I will decide soon

Michelle

@infatuatedbby (95001)

• United States

24 Oct 16

I hope everything works out for you. Are you both legally married? If so the first steps would be filing for divorce and toward moving out?

2 people like this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

Yes. I might go for a separation

1 person likes this

LK2018

@Letranknight2015 (51498)

• Philippines

24 Oct 16

Can't blame you since he was the one who started it in the first place.

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

Right. Thanks

Jenning

@Jenning (2016)

• Nigeria

25 Oct 16

Sorry about this question! He has been cheating right? That's okay. But have you cheated on him at any point? Well, I can understand what the feeling looks like when one is been cheated on. Remember, if you are pushing him out, re-marrying another is not permitted; it's not even an option as long a he is still alive. So are you ready to stay single for a life time?

1 person likes this

@carebear29 (31961)

• Wausau, Wisconsin

25 Oct 16

@Jenning I have been since I have been catching him