Why I am waging war against India!

@TheHorse (65957)
Pleasant Hill, California
November 5, 2016 3:11pm CST
OK, I've had enough. At first, I couldn't believe my friend Vanny when she told me that the sensitive Hindu males of India often treated their wives and other women poorly. And I couldn't believe my older Filipino-American friend when he said that Indians in the United States were sometimes arrogant toward Filipinos. My next door neighbor is my ally, and I'm going to ask him to renounce his Indian citizenship and become my Secretary of War. He taught me about Diwali and plays with my young neighbor friend and me. But as for the rest of India (except for those on MyLot and those I've befriended here in the US), IT'S ON! Once I've conquered India, I will call it Horsistan. Women's rights and not talking too loud on cell phones will be high on my agenda. It all started with my downstairs Indian neighbor. "Please don't talk so loud when you play with your young friend. My baby is sleeping." Baby is sleeping? Babies can sleep through anything. And I'm having fun with someone else's baby! I was tempted to blast Bach's Toccata and Fugue in d-minor at 11 on my stereo, but I didn't. And then it was the guy beneath me and to my right. When he argues with his girlfriend on the phone, it starts medium, and then gets louder and louder until he is shrieking at the top of his lungs. Do all Indian males sound like cats in heat when they're very angry? I actually did go down and knock on his door one night. It was too late for Bach. And then there's the guy staying with my friend while he looks for a place of his own. He honors his friend's friend's (not a typo) privacy by stepping out of his apartment and right in front of my window (basically about four feet from my desk) while he has his incredibly loud and long cell phone conversations about God knows what. I could enjoy being a nosy neighbor, but I don't speak any of the many Indian languages. I tried Miles Davis on him, but it didn't work. He keeps right on yammering away. I'm going with Jimi Hendrix next time it happens. I used to think of Indians as gentle and considerate people, respectful of God, balance, mindfulness, cows, and other things that I like. But living amongst them has led me to a different conclusion: they're just as nutty as Americans! Please send your donations to: The Horse for Supreme President for Life of India. Paypal is fine.
27 people like this
24 responses
• United States
6 Nov 16
sounds like a plan, hon. i've known quite a few folks from india. the majority always treated me like their servants, but a few were beautiful folk - inside'n out.
6 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
I think they're like many Californians--snobby on the outside but really cool once you get to know them. What a generalization! I'm just going based on experience. Every next door neighbor I've befriended has been cool.
4 people like this
• United States
6 Nov 16
@TheHorse not snobby, demandin' that i do schtuff they felt t'was beneath 'em - like my only reason fer 'xistence t'was to be't their beck'n call...24/7, 365. the others 'n i've been great friends fer years, they've always been kind.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@crazyhorseladycx I ain't never been in that position.
3 people like this
@crossbones27 (19598)
• Redlands, California
5 Nov 16
Trump much. Lets conquer the world. I will be the oppisition. If Hitler could not do it, then not going to be done, but love the twisted humor in this. Makes you think. Meaning, I know you were not serious. Damn, Did I give it away? Sorry Brother.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
Just be wary when one of my cow bots appears on your lawn!
4 people like this
• Redlands, California
5 Nov 16
@TheHorse As long as it brings a Trump sign so I can finally destroy something and not get in trouble.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
@crossbones27 Heh. My cow bots will feign innocence of politics. Did you see @OneOfMany's comment? It's pretty funny. Watching Trump self-destruct has been kind of fun, but I'll be glad/relieved when the election is over.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
6 Nov 16
LOVED IT.. I am rushing to read other Indians comments to this..
5 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
Vanny, I hope that slight language differences don't obscure my sick sense of humor. What if some of them took me seriously!!??
3 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
6 Nov 16
@TheHorse I loved it...no...it is not sick sense of humor..lol. It is great ..I want more Indians to come and fight it out with you...so far nobody felt any indignation..coz they know it to be true..lol BTW that neighbor's friend's friend is coming out not to respect your neighbor's privacy but because he is unable to listen to everything in that din within that home..lol. Indians don't respect privacy...they don't understand the word..most of them. lol.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@vandana7 Well, my neighbor friend's wife and new baby are not here yet, so it's fairly quiet in my neighbor's house. The Indians at my apartment complex walk around with cell phones glued to their ears. They're as bad as Americans in that way!
3 people like this
@RasmaSandra (17604)
• Daytona Beach, Florida
5 Nov 16
May the good maharajah bring you much peace and contentment.
5 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
Thank you, my friend. Back to my meditation now.
3 people like this
@MALUSE (40290)
• Germany
6 Nov 16
Instead of loud music, I'd try a bucket of water.
4 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
6 Nov 16
Hot or cold?
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@vandana7 He's doing it right now! Can you teach me some Hindi swear words?
2 people like this
@MALUSE (40290)
• Germany
6 Nov 16
@vandana7 I think cold would do the trick.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (123435)
• Bunbury, Australia
5 Nov 16
Funny how all the strange Indians have ended up in and around you. Perhaps someone is trying to tell you something - but don't ask me who or what.
4 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
It must be something about me.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (123435)
• Bunbury, Australia
6 Nov 16
@TheHorse I would have thought so but I was too polite to say it. :)
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@JudyEv It's actually just me exaggerating. Mark Twain is my favorite author, you know. I wonder if he really did say, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story." My one neighbor really did ask me and my kid buddy to be more quiet, but it was only once. My other downstairs neighbor really did have incredibly loud arguments with his girlfriend, but it was only a couple of times a week. And my next door neighbor friend's temporary roommate really does do the loud cell phone thing right outside my window, but only once or twice a day. I hope no Indians reading this miss my irony!
3 people like this
@ms1864 (6986)
• Bangalore, India
6 Nov 16
I understand your frustrations but irritating people can be of any country. ...though i see you have had a lot of bad experiences with indians...to be honest...yes.....many of us are a little loud...but a lot of such characteristics have to do with the way and place that the person might have been brought up in. You see?
4 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
7 Nov 16
@ms1864 - Very well said.
1 person likes this
@Lucky15 (33384)
• Philippines
5 Nov 16
my neighbor is ok, they are nice. but some..ahmm, well
4 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
@Daljinder has been appointed to my Cabinet. I'm hoping to hear from more of my Indian friends here. But then maybe they're afraid I'll have them over for dinner.
4 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
7 Nov 16
We are sorry to hear that you had to face some unpleasant experiences because of your Indian neighbours. May be their upbringing and situation was such that they could not control their emotions and unnecessarily caused trouble to you. However, your statement that Indians are just as nutty as Americans, should not be made as a generalized statement. There are all sorts of people in each country, among them there could be some who are ill-mannered but most of them are civilized. Most of the Indians are nice and they are taught to be cultured and decent with others. We hope one or two weird experiences will not make you think that all Indians are nutty.
3 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
7 Nov 16
So I qualify as nice Deepu?
3 people like this
@dpk262006 (56170)
• Delhi, India
7 Nov 16
@vandana7 You should not have any doubts about you.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
7 Nov 16
In reality, I'm sure Indians are as diverse as Americans. But in general, Indians here are polite and slightly on the quiet side.
3 people like this
@OneOfMany (12423)
• United States
5 Nov 16
Are you going to use a cow-bot as your secret base of operations so they won't know where you are and you can just wander around? "uh oh... things are going south. I better hide in the Cowbot!" It could work...
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
Hey, that's a good idea! Maybe I'll have multiple cow bots. And a huge Trojan Cow to really get things rolling.
5 people like this
@OneOfMany (12423)
• United States
5 Nov 16
@TheHorse Well aliens have been abducting people and cows for years. Now the cowbots can abduct aliens and people! And fire horn missiles, shoot lasers from their eyes, and have sonic weapons hidden in the cow bells.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@OneOfMany I'm coming up with their new ideas as well. I will lure Indians into a state of mellow bliss with the Carnatic Indian music my neighbor is showing me, and then secretly weave the McDonalds theme into my music. Indians will flock by the millions to my hastily constructed McDonalds restaurants for "veggie burgers," and the McDonads restaurauts will change into giant cow bots, each with three (or is it four?) stomachs, where they will receive "retraining." When they emerge they will cast aside their cell phones and pledge allegiance to Horsistan. Buwaahaahaa!
1 person likes this
@Platespinner (16520)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
6 Nov 16
I just read this aloud to my husband and other family members...I think we've all had neighbours like that, if you're going to declare war on India you are going to have to declare war on quite a few other nations as well.
3 people like this
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
6 Nov 16
@TheHorse Cannabalism? You never cease to surprise me!
2 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@Platespinner He wasn't very well marbled. Most of him wound up at the Food Bank.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
6 Nov 16
One country at a time, just line 'em up.
1 person likes this
@hora_fugit (5442)
• India
6 Nov 16
Wait till I come there and give you an earful of Bach, Miles Davis, Jimi Hendrix and everyone you mentioned there! Speaking against Indians, even by a horse, is not going to be unnoticed...
3 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
6 Nov 16
Hey I am going to take Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan there...lol
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
@vandana7 Heard that dude could rock all night (just read it, actually).
3 people like this
@vandana7 (65019)
• India
6 Nov 16
@TheHorse Yeah...and though he was Pakistani, many Indians love him. Wish India Pakistan stopped fighting at least for that love.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (21575)
• India
5 Nov 16
SENT Can I be your assistant? I know secrets of India
3 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
5 Nov 16
Oh, absolutely! And thanks for the donation.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (157723)
• Switzerland
7 Nov 16
Have you ever heard Italians speaking over their cell phones? My husband gets crazy and sometimes shouts "lower your voice, yours are none of our business". I think that the world is only one big village after all.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
7 Nov 16
How can Italians use cell phones? Don't they have to gesture with their hands to speak at all? I can see cell phones flying all over the place.
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (157723)
• Switzerland
8 Nov 16
@TheHorse The northern do not gesture, only the southern I was thinking about loud people and I believe than the Filipinos are the loudest I have ever heard. There are 45000 Filipinos in Milan, where they leave is the most noisy place of the city, even worst than Chinatown.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
8 Nov 16
@LadyDuck Yikes, a whole new train of thought. Who are the noisiest? Not Indians, that's for sure.
1 person likes this
@thelme55 (14574)
• Germany
6 Nov 16
It sounds that you have a very interesting life with your neighbours. I don't have any experience being a neighbour of Indians. My neighbours are all Germans and they are all seniors and quiet. They live by the rules.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
That's my sense of Germans. I'm actually half-joking (or exaggerating) in this post. Most of my neighbors are Indian, and they really quiet and respectful for the most part. If they were replaced by loud, brutish Americans, I probably really would go cuckoo and want to conquer a foreign country. Or move to a secluded island.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Nov 16
You could exchange the nationality for any other. Many people are just rude, doesn't matter where they're from.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
I'm just using my loud cell phone talker (he's doing it right now--I'm going to go put Purple Haze on) as an excuse to become Supreme President for Life of a country I find interesting.
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
By the way, how do I know when to capitalize "Country"?
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Nov 16
@TheHorse When it's the first word in a sentence, used in a title or a proper noun (name).
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (47895)
• Centralia, Missouri
7 Nov 16
that or maybe some ozzie lol!!!
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
8 Nov 16
Ozzie would make my eardrums fall out.
1 person likes this
• Centralia, Missouri
8 Nov 16
@TheHorse lol, well then maybe it would work on the neighbor too, invest in earplugs?
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
7 Nov 16
I agree with what you hate about Indians and those too are what i don't like in them . But then , i think the Indian myLotters here are not those kind of Indians we hate .
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
7 Nov 16
Oh, I don't really hate anyone. I was just having some fun.
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (79764)
• Philippines
8 Nov 16
@TheHorse That's good to hear , my friend .
@skysnap (17817)
6 Nov 16
LOL. some indians are like that. But rest of the bunch is friendly :P
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
Friendly? I sense that they're a bit scared of us brutish Americans until they get to know us...me anyway...
@FayeHazel (18027)
• United States
6 Nov 16
Aw horse - what about curry and paisley?
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (65957)
• Pleasant Hill, California
6 Nov 16
I love both Thai and Indian curries. Curries will be encouraged when I am Supreme President for Life. And there will be naan in every kitchen!