~The Drama~

Jacksonville, Florida
November 11, 2016 11:52am CST
So, I told you I would fill you in on what happened here last night... My husband and I were in our room laying down watching TV. The 3 older kids were playing in the playroom and Julian was resting in our room. The two rooms are side by side. Our oldest son Jackson comes into our room crying his eyes out. He said Aunt Mary told them they were being too loud so now they have to go to bed! For one it was 8:30pm, for two they are NOT her kids, for three our children don't have a certain bedtime-they usually fall asleep around 10:30ish. The other thing is the playroom is right next to our room-if they were being too loud we would have heard them and told them to quiet down. They were coloring and getting along for once which was really nice until she stepped in!! My husband said enough is enough! He was so ticked off! He went out there and told her if our children are being too loud you come tell us. If we want them to go to bed we will let them know. You don't need to tell them what to do and you don't need to make them cry either! So our son went back into the living room and asked Aunt Mary if she wanted a certain movie on to watch. She said no from now on y'all do whatever you want I don't care. I'm going to keep my mouth shut from now on... She acted like a 2 year old about the whole thing!! My husband said she's going to have to get out very soon because this is not working...
21 people like this
27 responses
@topffer (34159)
• France
11 Nov 16
There is a big difference between the beautiful and peaceful photo that you chose for this discussion and the content. I hope that things will calm down on both sides, I dislike family disputes.
9 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@topffer I know, I really liked the peacefulness in this picture and I am longing for that peace in my life right now! I hope things improve as well, thank you.
5 people like this
@sharon6345 (125888)
• United States
11 Nov 16
hope before kicking her out you all can sit down and talk about it. I was reading how this woman took care of your husband in trying times. I would hope he keeps that in mind. You never know when you need to be helped. I know it's hard living with other adults as well. maybe helping her find a shared room where she has privacy and can have a little left over would be great. I know she was wrong but she might not have meant it like it was taken. I also know no one wants to see another parent their kids. along with the fact that many can't see at all times what their kids are doing when not in the same room with them. Good. luck finding her a new home.
5 people like this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
You know what it's like living with a toxic person. All those sit-downs with Kay never did any good, did they? This woman has adult children of her own and none of them were willing to take her in when the son kicked her out. I'd say that's a pretty good indication that the behaviors she's exhibiting are pretty deeply ingrained. She's not going to change just because someone tells her it's unacceptable, because she feels she's completely in the right.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@sharon6345 We took her in to begin with because all she did for my husband. We have thought about that many times...but that doesn't give her the right to treat our kids badly in our home especially. We have talked with her and she denies everything-calling our kids liars. As I said we heard them playing but they weren't being too loud or anything, we were in the next room. Whenever we talk to her about things she acts like she has no idea why the kids would be upset. This was not the first time she has done something like this.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@yukimori The sit downs have not worked with her either-she denies everything acting like our kids are lying. The time I heard for myself what she said she told me she was just joking! She wasn't even close to joking and I knew it by the tone in her voice and the look on her face. Your right, she's not going to change. She just told me today she's going to try to leave as soon as she can so she's not a "burden" to us anymore. Once again making it out like we are the bad guys-not her.
1 person likes this
@UncleJoe (9955)
• Virginia Beach, Virginia
11 Nov 16
Awe! Ya'll missed the perfect opportunity to say, "Look here, Aunt Mary! Either you or the kids have to go!"
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@UncleJoe I wish you were here because I know you would have said it and that would have been SO funny!
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74743)
• Canada
11 Nov 16
That is ridiculous. You have all been more then patient with her since she came to live there. I know you wanted to help her out when she had no place to go but she should be treating all of you with respect and be appreciative of what you have done for her. I am sorry she continues to be a problem.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@Happy2beme Yeah, we have tried very hard to be patient and deal with everything but she has pushed too far. It doesn't feel like she's grateful at all. Thanks, I hope she leaves soon so my kids can be happy again.
2 people like this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies You and your husband need to actually kick her out. I know it's tough when you offered her a place to stay, but you had no idea she was going to make your poor kids miserable in their own home. They don't deserve that. Why prolong their misery and unhappiness just so you don't feel awkward having asked a grown adult to be responsible for herself?
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74743)
• Canada
11 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies I hope she does too. It is hard on all of you living that way.
@gudheart (12752)
11 Nov 16
It can be hard when Aunt's want to have a say about things and get in the way.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@gudheart Yeah it is a difficult situation.
2 people like this
@paigea (22199)
• Canada
11 Nov 16
so unfortunate that she has to behave like that.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@paigea I know, it's really getting hard to deal with.
2 people like this
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
11 Nov 16
I can understand why you are upset. It didn't seem right for her to tell your kids what to do. You guys were nice enough to give her a place to stay, and it does seem like she's not making the situation easy for anyone. Hopefully, you can figure something out.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@dodo19 Yeah and it's going on quite a bit. She is acting like we live in her home, like she wants control of everything here.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (99358)
• United States
12 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies The sad fact is that although she says she is trying to get out of there, it likely is all talk. You may have to actually do the "leg work" of pointing her to the proper locations. That could include the DCF or Department on Aging websites. She may not believe it but she would be happier in her own place, with visits from you guys, not cutting her off completely.
1 person likes this
@dodo19 (32873)
• Beaconsfield, Quebec
12 Nov 16
@GardenGerty That may be something to look into and something to think about.
@just4him (117099)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Nov 16
I thought she was only visiting. It sounds like it will be best for all concerned for her to go.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@just4him Nope, she was supposed to stay here until she moves with her daughter in Louisiana. I think it's going to be a while though.
1 person likes this
@just4him (117099)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies Well I hope your husband's talk with her last night will make her realize you and your husband are in charge of your children, not her.
• Pamplona, Spain
11 Nov 16
Tops is right that is such a peaceful image it has me feeling good too right now as its not been e very good day at all. Did I read right that you are having another Baby but I could not find your post about it if its yours. Hope things will calm down and the situation will resolve itself too.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@lovinangelsinstead21 Yes we are having another baby. Josiah will be our 5th child. =)
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
12 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies Oh that´s lovely Jen congratulations to you both wishing you all the best and the little boy of course.
@jstory07 (67145)
• Roseburg, Oregon
11 Nov 16
I was hoping it would work for her sake and yours since she needed a place to stay. Is there another place for her to go to.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@jstory07 I was hoping so too. There is no where else except her staying with her daughter in Louisiana but that's going to take her a while to save for...
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies Sounds like she needs to find a shelter, then. You can't allow her to keep tormenting the poor kids.
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
11 Nov 16
Instead of telling us it isn't working, you need to tell her. Last night was a perfect opportunity. Every day you wait will only make it more difficult.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@Morleyhunt She did let me know earlier she's doing what she can to get out of here as soon as she can.
@Morleyhunt (19750)
• Canada
11 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies that sounds very open ended. She needs a definite date.....I've known friends with similar situations.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
The more you post about her the more convinced I am that she sounds like someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The acting like a toddler thing is a classic narc response to being told something like that. The problem with narcs is that they have to be the center of the universe. Right before I decided I was done with that behavior from my mom's husband, he threw a fit because we were paying more attention to our kids on Christmas than to him. Yeah, take a minute for that to sink in... Seriously, though, there's slim to no possibility of people like that changing. They simply don't have the capacity for self-reflection that's necessary to recognize that they're the problem, so they expect everyone else to conform to their expectations instead of making changes in themselves.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@yukimori Yup it does sound like this is what she has. She at least always needs to be in control of all situations. When anyone challenges her on anything she turns the blame on them-even our children for crying out loud! Oh wow, your mom's husband sounds like a real winner! He needs more attention than the children? WOW! That is insane.
1 person likes this
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
@LovingMyBabies Yep, to the point where h went for a walk to pout about being told that nobody was going to pay more attention to him than the kids. We haven't seen him in nearly 3 years now. It's been great!
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (4248)
• United States
11 Nov 16
Glad your husband spoke up and stood up for your family. She needs to be thankful you all cared enough to offer her a place to stay until she can get on her feet.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@Dena91 Yeah I'm grateful he said something because it was ridiculous. You would think she would be grateful but she doesn't act like she is.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (106490)
• United States
11 Nov 16
I can see now why no one really wants to have Aunt Mary live with them. She is her own worst enemy it seems.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@Corbin5 Yeah we see it now too...=( I do understand why no one wanted her there.
1 person likes this
@NJChicaa (40274)
• United States
11 Nov 16
It is always tough when someone else comes to stay with the family. I hope she finds a new place to stay very soon.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@NJChicaa Yes it is. I hope so too, this is taking it's toll on us.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6655)
• Oxford, England
11 Nov 16
Maybe you need to sit down with Auntie Mary and explain how you want things. She was in the wrong, but probably had an idea she was helping. Maybe ask her to help on your terms, but make your boundaries clear so she knows what you want for your kids? You just might occasionally need her as a babysitter?
@yukimori (9047)
• United States
11 Nov 16
Oh, no. No, no, no. If she's treating the kids like this when their parents are right there, what's she going to do to them if she's babysitting them alone? I think she just needs to go. Forget her finding a place at her leisure, she needs to be gone immediately to show the kids that the parents are looking out for what's best for them.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Nov 16
@yukimori Before she came I thought maybe she would be able to help with babysitting once in a while but now no way!
@sugartoes (40759)
• Greencastle, Indiana
10 Dec 16
I'd let her know real fast like if she's not willing to be civil like a adult & get along then it's time to find another place that she's more happy at.
@Tina30219 (34232)
• Onaway, Michigan
13 Nov 16
I agree it sounds like this is not going to work out having her there.And you are right she has no right telling your kids what to do.Glad your husband spoke up to her.
@Mike197602 (13509)
• Worcester, England
13 Nov 16
It's a bit weird she's acting like this with you since you're the only family that took her in. If she burns her bridges with you she'll be homeless won't she?
@quantum2020 (9261)
• Ciudad De Mexico, Mexico
12 Nov 16
I would suggest aunt Mary to wear a pair of ear plugs that are 80% or more efficient at reducing noise. This will reduce the family frictions. I hope everything comes to better terms between her and the family atmosphere