Let's Get Our Minds Off of Politics for a Minute
By Jeff Moffitt
@moffittjc (118442)
Gainesville, Florida
November 23, 2016 6:53am CST
Americans will be celebrating a major holiday tomorrow, and giving thanks for all that we have been blessed with. As a warm-up for our day of thanks, we need to get ourselves in the right mindset. Which means, we need to redirect our brains away from politics for a hot minute. Below is a little pre-Thanksgiving humor for you. See how many of these you can answer correctly:
1. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
2. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
3. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
4. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
See how many of these you can get right! I will post the answers later in the comments.
40 people like this
31 responses
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
23 Nov 16
Did I ever tell you my relatives were at the first thanksgiving? My 8th great grandfather was Captain Myles Standish. That's true... and i have no answers for you but here are a couple I remember...
Why do pilgrims’ pants always fall down?....... Because they wear their belt buckles on their hats!
If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
(Their age!)
15 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Nov 16
That's really cool about your forefather! Not many people can say they have connections to that first Thanksgiving! And I love your two jokes! Thanks for adding to the collection! Here's the answers to the other ones:
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
9 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
23 Nov 16
@ElicBxn Wow! Two people with connections to the first Thanksgiving! What are the odds of that! I wonder how many total people were on the Mayflower when it sailed to the New World?
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
Yes!!!! You got two out of the four correct! Good for you! The answer to #2 and #3 are as follows:
2. What did the turkey say before it was roasted? "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter? "Quack, quack quack"
6 people like this
@LadyDuck (458091)
• Switzerland
24 Nov 16
@moffittjc N. 3 - naughty turkey to save his life he tried to put ducks in danger.
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Nov 16
@LadyDuck We're all in trouble if the ducks and turkeys ever join forces!
2 people like this
@Asylum (47893)
• Manchester, England
24 Nov 16
@moffittjc I saw your list of answers earlier, but still had to offer my own.
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
@Asylum I would expect nothing less from you than your own version of the answers!
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
That could be a good answer! The answer I was looking for was Plymouth Rock (where the Pilgrims first landed when they came to America)
4 people like this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
23 Nov 16
Happy Thanksgiving! I am not good at riddles, so I took a peek..
5 people like this
@Carmelanirel2 (8084)
• United States
24 Nov 16
@moffittjc Well, that's one way to bake a cake (I am better at puns )
)4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
Okay, since you cheated, you should add a joke of your own to the mix! lol
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
@Carmelanirel2 Happy Thanksgiving to you! Enjoy your day!
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
Here are the answers:
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock (that is the name of the location where the ship first landed in 1620)
4 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
23 Nov 16
Got no answers for those yet but have a great time one and all. Just enjoy yourselves and forget all the rest if you can.
4 people like this
@lovinangelsinstead21 (36850)
• Pamplona, Spain
24 Nov 16
@moffittjc
Yes that´s right. I did find the answers but to tell you the truth I thought the answer would have been something else. The same as where I am from we have a strong dialect and we use different words but all the same really. Take care and enjoy your Thanksgiving I wish they would do that over here like that you know like when I was small they used to do the Harvest Festival every year now it seems they do not.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
If you scroll through the comments you can find the answers! I guess those riddles are not easy if you are not from the United States, since they are dealing with our history and with one of our holidays.
3 people like this
@inertia4 (27961)
• United States
28 Nov 16
@moffittjc LOL. I hear that. It is all propaganda anyway. All the media and the news it will make one crazy.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Nov 16
I'll be happy to stay away from politics as long as you want me to! lol
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
28 Nov 16
@inertia4 I figure I'm already crazy enough, so I don't need the media contributing to the cause! lol
2 people like this
@BelleStarr (61047)
• United States
23 Nov 16
I love the Thanksgiving humor. I don't think I have any ancestors at that feast but certainly many American's do, mine came a bit later. I think one of my grandson's however can trace his ancestors back to the Mayflower.
5 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
We once traced our ancestors back to Scotland, but I don't remember exactly when my forefathers emigrated to America. But it wasn't on the Mayflower!
4 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Nov 16
Thank you! Thanksgiving is the second biggest/most important holiday of the year for us Americans after Christmas!
1 person likes this
@LeaPea2417 (36438)
• Toccoa, Georgia
23 Nov 16
1. because he sat out in the middle of the road and wouldn't move.
2. Oh no! gobble gobble
3. I am not a deer!
4. They played their own instruments and shared their songs with the Indians.
5 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Nov 16
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
2 people like this
@just4him (306196)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
28 Nov 16
@moffittjc You got me on those, but that last one was really good.
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Nov 16
You're funny Judy! At least you were honest about cheating to find the answers! haha
2 people like this
@snowy22315 (169961)
• United States
24 Nov 16
I can't even guess...but I like the Thanksgiving humor!
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
27 Nov 16
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
Well, now that Thanksgiving is over, we can move on to Christmas humor!
@sabtraversa (12937)
• Italy
25 Nov 16
I think I wouldn't have gotten any right (I self-spoilt the answers). 
3 people like this
@sabtraversa (12937)
• Italy
25 Nov 16
@moffittjc I still have the disadvantage of not being a native speaker. 
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Nov 16
You're a smart girl. You would have figured out the answers eventually!
2 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
25 Nov 16
@sabtraversa I think you speak English very well! At least it appears that way on myLot!
Hope you're having a great weekend!
1 person likes this
@cmoneyspinner (9221)
• Austin, Texas
23 Nov 16
Sorry. Very grateful for your sense of humor and appreciate you making this suggestion. Know you're trying to lift our spirits and as such I respectfully apologize to you. But I can't take my mind off what is going on with the President Elect. I find that I'm thinking about it without even realizing I'm thinking about it and try as I may to think positive, all of my thoughts are filled with dread and doubt. I can't help but feel like “We the People” are the turkeys. I debated whether or not I should respond. But if you can't express your true reservations and doubts about your country's future, then what are friends for? I'll try to be happy and fix my mind on things to be thankful for.
* * * That being said.
1. Why did the police arrest the turkey?
It was a set up. The cow and chicken got together and framed him.
2. What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
I don't get any of the jokes. Please don't ever roast me again!
3. What did the turkey say to the turkey hunter?
”It's probably a bad time to ask but: 'Don't suppose I could talk you into going vegan?'”
4. What kind of music did the Pilgrims listen to?
The music in their heart?
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
I like your answers!
I don't mind you expressing your political opinions. Whether I agree or disagree with people, all I ask is that we keep the conversation civil, and respect each other's opinions!
3 people like this
@cmoneyspinner (9221)
• Austin, Texas
25 Nov 16
@moffittjc - LOL. I wasn't expressing my political opinions. I was sharing my soul. LOL. It's a brand new day! The world is still turning. 
It's a brand new day! The world is still turning. 1 person likes this
@lookatdesktop (27129)
• Dallas, Texas
23 Nov 16
Answer to no. 1 might be - HE WAS ARRESTED FOR JAY WALIKING
As to no. 2, hmm. Maye - HEY MAN I CONTAIN NO EXTRA HORMONES.
As for no. 3 - I AM JUST AN OVER SIZED CHICKEN.
And finally, no. 4 - THEY PROBABLY DID THE TURKEY TROT TO THE SOUNDS OF THE RAIN MAKER'S TUNES.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
I like the "Turkey Trot" answer you gave for #4. I will consider that an acceptable answer!
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
1. Because they suspected him of fowl play.
2. "Boy, am I stuffed!"
3. "Quack, quack, quack"
4. Plymouth Rock
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
@KristenH Happy Thanksgiving Kristen! Hope you have a safe and wonderful holiday!
3 people like this
@JamesHxstatic (29242)
• Eugene, Oregon
23 Nov 16
I knew none, but they are pretty funny. I'll spring these on my daughter tomorrow.
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
Just trying to lighten the mood before Turkey Day!
3 people like this
@moffittjc (118442)
• Gainesville, Florida
24 Nov 16
@JamesHxstatic Thanks! Happy Thanksgiving!
3 people like this
