Life, for people who don’t know how to do it.

@Fleura (7112)
United Kingdom
November 25, 2016 5:23am CST
Yesterday I was chatting to a friend who has long suffered from mental illness. We were taking about the various therapies and I mentioned that a recent study showed that mindfulness cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) was as effective as anti-depressants but without the nasty side-effects. She agreed that this was definitely a good thing and mentioned that CBT had helped her in the past. At that point I had to admit that although I’d read plenty of accounts of CBT helping with various disorders, I don’t actually know exactly what it is. She explained that it involves thinking about what your aims are, and then planning out what you have to do to achieve those aims. I asked ‘Isn’t that just life?’ ‘Well yes’ she replied, ‘it’s life for people who know how to do it. But no-one ever teaches you that.’ It has simply never occurred to me before that there might be people out there who haven’t figured out this simple step-by-step process: Deciding what you want to achieve, working out what you need to do to get there, and then doing it. In fact I find it hard to imagine how to live otherwise. What about you? All rights reserved. © Text and image copyright Fleur 2016.
9 people like this
10 responses
@RasmaSandra (16566)
• Riga, Latvia
25 Nov 16
As simple as that may sound when people have problems with depression and other kinds of mental problems it certainly is not so easy. My friends son suffers from depression and a sense that real life is not real life. Hard to explain but his day consist of just getting through them with no major obstacles and that is such a difficult thing to live through.
5 people like this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov 16
You're right it is difficult to understand, sometimes it seems my life is ruled by a long 'To Do' list but I really find it hard to imagine just having no idea of what to do at all.
3 people like this
@skysnap (17819)
25 Nov 16
Life can be really hard for the people if they are having money and other fmaily issues.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (118544)
• Bunbury, Australia
25 Nov 16
I can understand that many people never really learn these things although it would seem commonsense to many. I'd also like to say that they have names for everything nowadays don't they?
2 people like this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov 16
They certainly do, everything you thought was just normal common sense can now be categorised and then labelled a 'transferable skill'!
2 people like this
• China
25 Nov 16
CBT is new to me,I search it online , ,but none the wiser.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia Jump to: navigation, search Cognitive behavioral therapy Intervention The diagram depicts how emotions, thoughts, and behaviors all influence each other. The triangle in the middle represents CBT's tenet that all human
2 people like this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
25 Nov 16
I think it's rather a complicated explanation of something that just comes naturally to many people without them even realising. However it helps many people with mental illnesses and that is a good thing.
2 people like this
@Ronrybs (7302)
• London, England
25 Nov 16
Very true, not many of us get the hang of it before it is time to go!
2 people like this
• United States
25 Nov 16
I achieved all I set out to achieve. We are in a place that is where we should be and live a comfortable life.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (146987)
• Switzerland
25 Nov 16
Just like you, I cannot imagine how you can live otherwise. This is something I do since I was a teenager.
2 people like this
13 Dec 16
That is just life, but its easier said than done. This is coming from experience. As much as I just want to think the right way...think in a way that allows me to function happily everyday, sometimes it just doesn't happen for me.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
14 Dec 16
I am sorry to hear that, I wish I could help.
27 Nov 16
I think that's a bit over-simplified. It's not so much about long-term aims, but short term. Being able to change a mindset and not react in a certain way to a situation. Learning to adapt and beginning to take control. Developing strategies to help you in everyday life. One problem with CBT is that it deals mostly with the present/future and not with the past, so it doesn't treat any underlying causes. Also, if you hate talking to people, particularly about emotions and whatnot, it's a near impossible treatment. I'm one of those people. That's why I write. The Internet is my CBT! I know it can be done online - I think - but I still would find that difficult, at this point in my life anyway. It's incredibly difficult to put into words how it feels to be depressed and suffer from anxiety, especially when trying to explain it to someone who has no experience of it. I live life. I know how to do life. I've been doing it since the day I was born. I may not react to life in the same way as someone who doesn't suffer from mental health issues, but it's still life. I may not be able to achieve my aims, or I may achieve them. But isn't that life for most people?
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
27 Nov 16
You're right it is hard to understand, not that people don't want to, we do try but sometimes it is so hard to imagine. Of course everyone has been depressed at some times, when bad things happen it's only natural, but eventually it passes and life does seem worth living again. But when someone is seen as successful and 'happy' and their life seems fulfilled and desirable to everyone else, that is when it's really hard to imagine being depressed all the time, and hard to know what to do to help. Hopefully just listening is better than nothing.
• Rochester, New York
25 Nov 16
I have a long list of goals that I want to reach. I call it my bucket list. When I achieve something I cross it off my list and move onto something else on the list.
1 person likes this
@Fleura (7112)
• United Kingdom
27 Nov 16
Me too, although I have an ongoing to do list of everyday stuff rather than major life goals!