Mind Your Own Business!

@owlwings (38670)
Cambridge, England
November 26, 2016 5:32am CST
When is it appropriate to tell someone to 'mind their own business'? I (and other long-term members) sometimes try to remind newer members that their post is likely to violate the Guidelines. Mostly, I think, people are grateful but occasionally we get a curt comment telling us to mind our own business. Well, in my view, it is everyone's 'business' that MyLot's published standards are kept up and, if someone is clearly not keeping within the Guidelines it is only right and proper to give them a gentle reminder. Of course, there is a world of difference between saying "I'd like to point out that this post is against the Guidelines" and simply posting "Reported!" - the latter is definitely rude (even if it is justified) whilst the former is (or attempts to be) merely informative and helpful. There are only a few occasions when I feel it's necessary to tell someone to mind their own business (and I don't always do so). For example, if I am trying to explain something or give directions to someone and someone else butts in halfway through (without having heard the beginning of the conversation) and gives an alternative version of my instructions which may just be repeating what I have said or even completely incorrect and inappropriate to the situation. Then it becomes rude and inconsiderate, of course, and telling them to go away (though often in a less direct manner) may be appropriate. How do you deal with people when you feel that what you are doing or saying is none of their business?
55 people like this
49 responses
@LadyDuck (141643)
• Switzerland
26 Nov 16
Here, I also warn people when I notice that they are violating the guidelines. Most of the new users thank and are grateful. A few are rude and they are reported, because this is also against the guidelines. I seldom feel the necessity to tell someone to mind their own business. I surely do when someone asks me why I do not go to the Church on Sunday or I do not visit the Cemetery the All Souls Day. I think that I have nothing to explain to anybody, it's my own business.
12 people like this
@xFiacre (4152)
• Ireland
26 Nov 16
@owlwings I have developed an icy, withering glare that is usually quite effective but doesn't really work on the internet.
9 people like this
@owlwings (38670)
• Cambridge, England
26 Nov 16
Ah! The "Paddington Stare". It can be quite effective with some people. A few are probably so used to it (or something similar) that they just keep barging in regardless! An emoticon would, indeed, be VERY useful! The nearest I know is "" though "" is supposed to represent a 'glare'.
7 people like this
@garymarsh6 (13102)
• United Kingdom
26 Nov 16
As long as it is constructive advice that is good and I would certainly welcome that but if someone was abusive to me I would not be too happy. However I would scroll on by and let them get on with it I have far more important things to do than to become embroiled in an argument which is likely to be erased from the site anyway! Sometimes you just cannot help people however well meaning your intentions!
8 people like this
@kevin1877uk (36951)
26 Nov 16
I totally agree with you, just not worth my time. You may leave a comment but nothing more.
7 people like this
@Bluedoll (17089)
• Canada
26 Nov 16
I do agree why bother with argumentative dialogue when it goes down that road. I try to keep in mind though that not all arguments a+b=c are narrow-minded but different points of view. Taking on an attitude of we are the majority therefore right and the minority wrong is not something I would like to share. However when it becomes heated and abusive its not pleasant and shameful for the people involved.
7 people like this
@annierose (17588)
• Philippines
26 Nov 16
@Bluedoll Oh, I am sorry for the term that I used. I guess, I should just delete that comment as it might offend some readers. Yes, I agree with you, we have different points of view and we just have to respect other's opinions even if they don't go with ours. I think I became judgmental again. Anyway, I should go to bed now. It is already night time.
5 people like this
@JolietJake (48483)
• Olney, Illinois
26 Nov 16
Depends. Situations vary. Sometimes a 'Please hush, you don't know the situation' will be the choice...other times, I may remove their posts (if possible). And I have gone for the direct simple 'Shut up' on occasion. But yes...I almost made a similar post the other day after pointing a user towards the guidelines and then being told to 'butt out'...
7 people like this
@owlwings (38670)
• Cambridge, England
26 Nov 16
Our minds work on similar lines. It was a similar comment from the same person (in a PM) which inspired this one!
6 people like this
@JolietJake (48483)
• Olney, Illinois
26 Nov 16
@owlwings For some reason, I am not really surprised.
6 people like this
@owlwings (38670)
• Cambridge, England
26 Nov 16
@JolietJake It must have something to do with both of us owning black cats (both, of course, Rulers of the Universe, &c. &c.). Mephistopheles may look as though he's asleep and imitating a draught-excluder but really he is sending strong thought-waves and is in cahoots with Scar and others of his breed!
7 people like this
• United States
26 Nov 16
I think how I react depends on how serious the situation is and where it happens. I'm not going to blow a gasket here, it's certainly not worth it. In 'real life' that's a different story.
6 people like this
@GardenGerty (95638)
• Marion, Kansas
26 Nov 16
I believe that if a person tells me to mind my own business on myLot, it is then an invitation to investigate what is happening, which IS my business. The command to stay out tells me they probably have more violations, or might at any rate.
6 people like this
@JudyEv (115605)
• Bunbury, Australia
26 Nov 16
The few times (like maybe twice) I've PMed a new member suggesting they write less and comment more, I've been thanked. But I always approach the subject very gingerly.
6 people like this
@sunrisefan (16915)
• Philippines
26 Nov 16
I just usually attempt to respond as politely as possible and don't anymore mind the other party's comments or response - I just let him alone.
5 people like this
@silvermist (18109)
• India
26 Nov 16
@0wlwings As JoiletJake said it depends on the situation. Usually I tell that person what really is going on.Some times I just ignore him/her.
5 people like this
• Australia
26 Nov 16
People who shut people up who disagree with them and tell them "cut the crap of your statement" (similar to "you don't have any business expressing your opinion") are kind of people who shouldn't, at all, be joining any open discussion social media with fair rules and guidelines for mutual enjoyment among all members.
4 people like this
• Dallas, Texas
26 Nov 16
I usually just leave a butinksy type comment alone. If they are a follower I guess I need to do my homework.
4 people like this
@Jessicalynnt (47798)
• Centralia, Missouri
26 Nov 16
Depends on intent, some people can be polite with this, some rude
4 people like this
• United States
26 Nov 16
I've never told someone to mind their own business but if I do see a member violating the rules I'll let them know& reference links. Not always do they even read the reference links because they respond thank you & continue violating. Mylot isn't for everyone but I don't get upset over it.
3 people like this
@owlwings (38670)
• Cambridge, England
26 Nov 16
No. MyLot is not for everyone, but everyone is welcome here initially. If they don't bother to read the Guidelines or complain about them and continue to ignore them, they will either leave of their own accord or Admin will get fed up with them (that sometimes takes quite a long time, though!)
3 people like this
• United States
26 Nov 16
@owlwings Yes, everyone is welcome and that's great! The more is the merrier. Those who complain or say something - I'll ignore it. The post is reported so I'm sure admin will handle the user but ultimately like you mentioned they will probably just leave since they are expecting their bank to shoot up to$1 rates immediately!
2 people like this
@marguicha (88122)
• Chile
27 Nov 16
I have come across some newbies who clearly are against the guidelines. I explain and most of the times you also explain and place a link for them to read. If they insist, I donĀ“t lose my time: I report.
3 people like this
@chiwasaki (4663)
• Philippines
27 Nov 16
Here in my MyLot, I encountered a lot of good people who are sharing opinion and suggestion. I find this community very good as most of the members are nice. I rarely see people who are rude and inconsiderate. Though some may be rude in a way, I often disregard it as we are from different countries and maybe, they don't mean it the way I perceived it.
3 people like this
@Nihil90 (358)
• Indore, India
27 Nov 16
I totally agree with you on the issue of someone else barging in and telling the same thing as you are but in different words. But then I think that may have happened by chance rather than delierately. I sometimes look at the different responses after posting a comment and think,"Oh! Pretty much what I wrote". People here are generally open-minded to heed to each other's advice despite being from different countries as @chiwasaki explained. But this shouldn't become an excuse to post stuff that violates the guidelines.
2 people like this
@owlwings (38670)
• Cambridge, England
27 Nov 16
I wasn't thinking so much about the situation where someone else has the same information. It often happens that it takes me quite a while to write a response and, in that time, someone may have posted almost the same thing. That's only natural, of course, and there's no rudeness involved.
1 person likes this
@Nihil90 (358)
• Indore, India
28 Nov 16
@owlwings But mindless interruptions are intelorable I guess.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
26 Nov 16
ouch that is a go goood question I sometimes try to be diplomatic and not fly off the handle saying pleasedo not inteript me, I have the floor
2 people like this
@Bluedoll (17089)
• Canada
27 Nov 16
I don't want you to fly off the handle Patsie.
2 people like this
@Hatley (164777)
• Garden Grove, California
27 Nov 16
@Bluedoll nope not a pretty sight lol lol jhehe
1 person likes this
• Philippines
28 Nov 16
I might just delete the comment if it has nothing to do with the conversation. But if the butt in is actually a spam, then I might just report it. Telling some one to just mind their own business might just starts an unhealthy conversation. Not to mention it will lead to a lot of insults here and there.
2 people like this
@KnehKnah (3477)
• Philippines
28 Nov 16
I haven't said that to anybody, because just like what you said, it's rude (although you have good intentions). But how I wish somebody in MyLot tells me too if a post I made violated a rule. Definitely, that someone will not receive from me a, "mind your own business!", but words of thanks!
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (19902)
• Canada
27 Nov 16
On line, I just ignore them and move on ...In real life its harder to do. When i started to read this I had to check one of my comments from yesterday to see if it was still there and it was, I had told a new member his post was going to be removed and why and I wondered if he told me to mind my own business...but no, he thanked me. And his post was gone, don't know if Admin removed it or he did...
2 people like this
@jobelbojel (6518)
• Philippines
27 Nov 16
Since I am not super active, I haven't encountered one misbehaving on this platform, if I do, I will warn the person via private message first and if the behavior persist, that the time I will confront the person on his discussion. Following certain rules and regulations is very important --- for the welfare of the users and the owner.
2 people like this