That Man Of Mine.

By Jabo
@jaboUK (56296)
United Kingdom
December 4, 2016 3:50pm CST
He has a few friends round for beer, That's fine, they're full of good cheer, But what is the reason He calls it a 'coven' If I have some girlfriends round here? When I ask if he'd like some tea, He declines, so I get some for me, Settle back in my chair. But as soon as I'm there, He wants some - how annoying is he! From the 'remote' it seems I am banned, Falls asleep with it clutched in his hand, I prise it away, He'll wake and he'll say, "I'm watching that ! " - annoys me no end! And I've not yet mentioned the seat That covers the toilet so neat, It does make me frown When it is not down No matter how much I entreat When I said I want a new broom, He asked (and it spelt his doom) If I'd crash-landed mine, That was well out of line, He's sleeping now in the spare room! And perchance if this should be read, By my husband, will he see red?, Should I run for cover, Will it be be all over, Perhaps we'll no longer be wed? I pinched the idea for the second last verse (the broom) from a joke that @nanette64 sent me, but my man is guilty of all the rest.(I luv 'im really!)
56 people like this
52 responses
@valmnz (14869)
• New Zealand
4 Dec 16
I laughed and laughed and ... well, I'm still laughing. It seems men are pretty much the same everywhere.
8 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@valmnz I'm happy to have given you a laugh Val - I thought this might strike a chord with other women
5 people like this
@moffittjc (50718)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
I was thinking the same thing! I guess it doesn't matter where you go in the world, us men are all the same! lol
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@moffittjc From the responses here I would say that was true
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (134358)
• United States
4 Dec 16
Yep, how we get ourselves hooked up with guys and stay with them is beyond me. So much trouble they are. It seems most of our training of them is all for naught. Loved this one!
6 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@Corbin5 Sometimes I think men are just untrainable, but @Morleyhunt has come up with a solution to the toilet seat
4 people like this
@moffittjc (50718)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
The more you try to train us, the more we resist! LOL
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (19806)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
I trained my man early...leave the seat down. Remember those pretty fluffy sear covers for the toilet lid? When they are on the lid, the rim must be held tight because the balance point changes, I promised not to put one on the toilet if he remembered to put the seat down. In forty one years he has rarely forgotten.....the other things ( not the broom) he is guilty of. Nicely written.
5 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@Morleyhunt Well, how cunning are you! I never thought of a fluffy cover, and after 51 years I'm pretty much resigned to it
2 people like this
@Morleyhunt (19806)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
@jaboUK I hadn't been aware that those fluffy covers made it difficult for a man. When I found out. I had an awesome tool to negotiate with. Now I know when we have male guests.....my father also tended to leave the seat up. If I got up in the night it was.....Grrr....then, at least I know he was up once.
2 people like this
@GreatMartin (7789)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
4 Dec 16
Yeah but do you really want to train a new one at this time in your life???
3 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@GreatMartin Gawd NO! I'll settle for what I've got
1 person likes this
@amadeo (87304)
• United States
4 Dec 16
I guess this leave me out.Nice to see you.Been awhile?
3 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@amadeo I'm still living it up in Spain, that's why I haven't been around much. Home on Tuesday.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (109098)
• United States
5 Dec 16
Terrific and humorous! My mother told me to train my husband from day one. Everything worked just fine, except for that remote control. He can have it!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@DianneN Your mother was a wise woman Dianne
1 person likes this
@DianneN (109098)
• United States
5 Dec 16
@jaboUK Welcome home!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@DianneN Lol - not home till tomorrow. Just got the packing done.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (112484)
• Chile
4 Dec 16
I loved it! My husband was quite nice in many things but I haven´t forgotten that he though the remote was his.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@marguicha I wonder why it is that the men all seem to think the remote is their personal property??
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@marguicha Fortunately I'm not that bothered by the TV as I'm usually on the computer.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (112484)
• Chile
4 Dec 16
@jaboUK When my husband was alive, computers were not so much part of our lives.
@VivaLaDani13 (26376)
• Perth, Australia
21 Mar 17
@jaboUK lol this was awesome! Some of the verses remind me of my dad and pop….and myself actually lol
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
21 Mar 17
@VivaLaDani13 You do some of these things yourself??
2 people like this
• Perth, Australia
21 Mar 17
@jaboUK lol yep Sometimes my dad will ask me if I want something from the kitchen and I say "no thank you" but change my mind when he sits down lol I get it myself though. I can be quite indecisive at times.....I think...
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
21 Mar 17
2 people like this
@pgntwo (22713)
• Douglas, Isle Of Man
4 Dec 16
Ooooh, you are wicked!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@pgntwo Guilty as charged
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (22713)
• Douglas, Isle Of Man
27 Dec 16
@jaboUK Happy New Year! I was catching up an a few episodes of "I'm Sorry I haven's a Clue" earlier, I thought you might appreciate this short snippet from the crypts:
Classic BBC Radio Four Schoolboy Humour from 1994 ....
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
27 Dec 16
@pgntwo Thanks for that, it's brilliant! Happy New Year to you too.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (38883)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
That's cute! I didn't think that a man was capable of watching television without holding onto the remote, my husband and my son are not. But that's all right with me because they are both trained and leave the seat down-even the cover because of my constant nagging!
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@Juliaacv It sounds as if you win some, you lose some - not like me who loses on all the points I've mentioned
3 people like this
@Juliaacv (38883)
• Canada
4 Dec 16
@jaboUK I think that the "secret" is to let them think that they are winning!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
4 Dec 16
@Juliaacv Oh yes - I've had success in some areas by letting him think things are his idea!
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (22202)
• India
14 Jan 17
LMAO! I swear you just described my Dad in there. My parents are always squabbling over those things.
2 people like this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
14 Jan 17
@Daljinder I'm pleased that this amused you, and that you could recognise your Dad here
2 people like this
@shshiju (10465)
• Cochin, India
5 Dec 16
O Janet earth is round and I can see these problems everywhere and here also. Lol
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@shshiju Lol - just having a bit of fun. I expect you could compile a list of things we women do that annoy you
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10465)
• Cochin, India
6 Dec 16
@jaboUK Janet It is the dressing time of woman is the most one. We Indians have Saree for our ladies on most occasions. It take more time to most of the ladies.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 16
@shshiju Oh right - I can understand that it would be annoying for you if you have to wait while your lady gets ready
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (88343)
• Philippines
5 Dec 16
So , when at home the remote is always his . Good thing , when i am at the bedroom and hubby comes in to watch , there i no choice to watch except for two channels . Though , i give it to him , as long as the soap i am watching at night has finished already .
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@SIMPLYD It sounds as if you have found a reasonable compromise. I've made my husband sound selfish for the sake of the poem, but he always asks me if there's anytrhing I'd like to watch. Though he still keeps hold of the remote!
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (88343)
• Philippines
5 Dec 16
@jaboUK So the remote has to be in his hands even if he changes the channel just to let you watch what you want ?
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@SIMPLYD Yup, that's about it, but I very rarely want to watch anything anyway. I'm usually on the computer.
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (50718)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
I got a good laugh out of this! Sounds about right for the typical man!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@moffittjc I'm pleased you got a laugh Jeff, and no doubt you could make a similar list about we women's shortcomings!
1 person likes this
@moffittjc (50718)
• Gainesville, Florida
10 Dec 16
@jaboUK I would never do that! Women are such beautiful creatures, they have no shortcomings!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@moffittjc Of course that's true.
1 person likes this
@much2say (42621)
• United States
8 Dec 16
Too funny!!!!!! I best not say anything because it's possible my man might read this!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
8 Dec 16
@much2say Lol - I'm pretty safe as mine doesn't know how to use a computer - he only sees an occasional thing that I choose to show him
1 person likes this
@much2say (42621)
• United States
8 Dec 16
@jaboUK My husband knows how to use the computer way more than me . He will respect my privacy, but still . . . I had better stay on his "nice" list .
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 16
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (6769)
• Ireland
5 Dec 16
@jabouk I've often wondered what the problem is with the toilet seat standing to attention.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@xFiacre The problem mostly occurs when we want to use the bathroom at night. In deference to you men we don't put the light on, and that cold porcelain can be a shock to our nether regions. Get it?
1 person likes this
@xFiacre (6769)
• Ireland
5 Dec 16
@jaboUK Ah, I understand that. One of my worst ever memories was coming to Belfast from Africa in mid winter and having to sit on my grandmother's stone cold toilet seat. I've never been so shocked in my life. How do people live like this I wondered!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
5 Dec 16
@xFiacre Ha - my grandmother just had a wooden board with a hole in it. Not too cold on the bum, but it entailed a trip to the bottom of the garden to get to it
@Shellyann36 (11355)
• United States
13 Dec 16
I am glad to see that hubby and I are not the only ones to suffer from the "I want", after the other person has sat down.
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
13 Dec 16
@Shellyann36 Lol - you too? It's sooo annoying, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@Shellyann36 (11355)
• United States
18 Dec 16
@jaboUK Yep it can be.
@tammys85 (13992)
• United States
10 Dec 16
Awe that was cute. Are you going to show him it?
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@tammys85 Nope - he's not interested in my 'poetry stuff'!
1 person likes this
@tammys85 (13992)
• United States
10 Dec 16
@jaboUK Awwe.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21483)
• Canada
9 Dec 16
Oh my you made me laugh, we all go through that. The remote is something I will never touch, I have my own TV in the Family room while his is in the living room. I like mine better, I can tape shows while I'm not on it and watch them later...The toilet seat is not a problem I trained him young... My hubby has mentioned the boom for transpiration too... Fun to read!!!
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
10 Dec 16
@PainsOnSlate I'm so pleased that you found this fun, thanks. We only have one TV so your system wouldn't work for us, but I don't watch much anyway. Well done you for training him regarding the toilet seat
1 person likes this
• Canada
10 Dec 16
@jaboUK My oldest son was living with us for a year and he had the TV in the family room, its quite the TV and It will allow you to tape shows while watching others. When he got his act together and moved out, he left the TV for me because he knew I loved it.... I tape my favorite shows so I can watch them when I want to, i never miss a show now because its there waiting for me...(that is the only reason we have two TV's)
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14333)
• United States
7 Dec 16
Now this really has me laughing out loud! It is so funny and so clever! And I can tell that it's written with love as well as truth! lol
1 person likes this
@jaboUK (56296)
• United Kingdom
7 Dec 16
@CRK109 I'm so happy to have been able to make you laugh, and I'm glad that you've realised that it's written with love as well. No doubt he could write a similar list about my foibles
1 person likes this
@CRK109 (14333)
• United States
14 Dec 16
@jaboUK That's when you know what a great relationship two people have!
1 person likes this