You won't believe what happened at WalMart yesterday!

By JJ
@JolietJake (41349)
December 9, 2016 4:56am CST
So I was shopping at a Walmart earlier, when I saw a young child crying. The kid had gone to visit Santa there, but a mall robbery gone wrong had resulted in the wino playing Santa receiving a trip to Heaven due to a stray bullet. The little girl seemed inconsolable, crying that she couldn't understand why God had let someone as good as Santa be killed by notorious criminals. So I took the child into my lap (after throwing Santa's bullet-riddled body from the chair and sitting there myself) and calmly explained to her that there is no real Santa, and that the smelly old wino was probably better off because he now had a permanent home in a casket, and the criminals had actually done a good deed by giving the wino a home, and that God didn't really have anything to do with it because He was busy somewhere else trying to convince a priest that his peccadilloes really weren't helping the Church any and suicide was probably his best option. The child stopped crying, looked at me and said "Really?" and I said "No child, I just want you to shut up." And then the kid started screaming and crying again when her Mom attacked me. Last time I try to help someone at WalMart.
23 people like this
20 responses
@celticeagle (115025)
• Boise, Idaho
9 Dec 16
I'd like to rumble around in your brain for just one afternoon. I doubt I would ever be the same.
7 people like this
@Platespinner (18533)
• Winston Salem, North Carolina
9 Dec 16
Just another day in Walmart....
5 people like this
@owlwings (38179)
• Cambridge, England
9 Dec 16
You only concocted this blasphemous* story because Scar whispered it in your ear! He's DEFINITELY a bad influence on you! (* Blasphemous, of course, because you claimed that there is no real Santa!)
4 people like this
@JolietJake (41349)
9 Dec 16
Scar contributed the part about God being busy
3 people like this
@owlwings (38179)
• Cambridge, England
9 Dec 16
@JolietJake Mephistopheles also knows a hell of a lot more about God than I do and he thinks that I'm really a bit of a simpleton and rather immature in that regard!
3 people like this
@allknowing (55773)
• India
9 Dec 16
I thought as much. You are not supposed to talk to strangers.
4 people like this
@Morleyhunt (16689)
• Canada
9 Dec 16
You are soooo bad.
4 people like this
@crossbones27 (15115)
• Redlands, California
9 Dec 16
I am staying out of this controversial post. Momma mad I run everytime. I have twio female dogs they teach me well.I do miss Tristan becuase he would be the only one to stand up for me. .Women are the worst when they are mad including dogs,
2 people like this
• Redlands, California
9 Dec 16
@JolietJake Huffinh hemp I am crying oh jeez that is funny and could care less about spell check. Ruined my buzz of huffing hemp. Stupid grammer nazis
2 people like this
9 Dec 16
Lol you had me for a minute there
2 people like this
@JudyEv (101028)
• Bunbury, Australia
9 Dec 16
Some people just never really get it, do they?
2 people like this
@SIMPLYD (75354)
• Philippines
12 Dec 16
Good thing her mom didn't call the police because you made her daughter cry .
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (27585)
• Philippines
11 Dec 16
That's why I never shop at WalMart. Too many crazy characters out there!
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (48191)
• Centralia, Missouri
11 Dec 16
then the cops showed up? lol
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (21736)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
10 Dec 16
Ever thought of switching trades? You'd be a great counsellor...
1 person likes this
@yugocean (4588)
• India
10 Dec 16
Is this real, or you are just trying to shut all up? Your attempt to make the child shut up was all the way a good point, but exposing it is worthless.
1 person likes this
@paigea (21211)
• Canada
10 Dec 16
you sure got that kindness gene.
1 person likes this
@much2say (35431)
• United States
9 Dec 16
I've heard of a lot of kooky things that happen at WalMart, but wow and dang!
1 person likes this
@sabtraversa (9862)
• Italy
9 Dec 16
You didn't tell her you're the real Santa, so honest of yours. Well, it would have been worse if you did tell her so. You only wanted her to be quiet. Aww.
1 person likes this
@LilyBeBack (1679)
• United Kingdom
9 Dec 16
Kids are idiots
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (122031)
• Switzerland
9 Dec 16
I have read a lot about a "normal" day at WalMart, but this is a good one.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (36578)
• Colorado Springs, Colorado
9 Dec 16
I'll probably be laughing about this all day.
1 person likes this
@LoriAMoore (10010)
• United States
9 Dec 16
Oh my! Too bad Scar wasn't there to console her.
1 person likes this