~Aunt Mary Left Tonight~

Jacksonville, Florida
January 9, 2017 8:10pm CST
My husband thinks I am crazy, maybe I am. Aunt Mary left tonight and I am feeling guilty. I guess I just feel like I could have handled things better than I did. It was hard at times but I lost patience when maybe I shouldn't have. I don't know, I'm having an emotional day today. Possibly due to lack of sleep, I'm not sure. She is spending the night at her one daughter's house and leaving for Louisiana in the morning on a bus. I wish her well and hope she has a safe trip. I am glad our home is our home again. I think things will be much more peaceful here and I am grateful for that.
41 people like this
42 responses
@DWDavis (13081)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
10 Jan 17
I believe, firmly, that you were as good a hostess to Aunt Mary as she would let you be. Now you can really begin to enjoy your home, without the stress she brought with her. Her baggage, literally and figuratively, is not yours to carry any longer. Wish her well on her way, of course, but feel no guilt about the relief you feel at her departure.
7 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@DWDavis Yeah I did try really hard with her but it felt impossible some days not to avoid her any way I could. I am glad we can have our home be our home again. It was getting to be too much to handle with her here. Thank you for understanding. =)
2 people like this
@marlina (76834)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
@DWDavis , So agreeing with you on this one. Other people's baggages are not for us to carry.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jan 17
Well spoken
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 17
Every time we had a house guest leave our home, I felt guilty for them having to leave. However, it is our home. Peace should be in our homes. When the guest disrupts that balance, it is not peaceful. Big hugs to you lady.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@Elusivebutterfly I do know your right about that. Our home was not peaceful with her here. Thank you for the hugs! =)
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74975)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
You have a big heart so that is why you feel the way that you do. I am glad that everything is back to normal for all of you and that your home is finally home again.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@Happy2beme Thank you. I know I probably sound crazy to most people since she did cause many problems here but I still feel kind of bad. I am very glad we have just our family here again.
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74975)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies not crazy at. It never feels good when things don't end on good terms. You took her in hoping for the best.
3 people like this
@yukimori (9072)
• United States
12 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies I don't think you sound crazy. I think you sound like someone who's spent a lot of time pleasing others and was possibly conditioned to behave in that specific way or you just haven't had a lot of experience in dealing with people who are crazy like Aunt Mary is. And trust me, as someone who grew up surrounded by it, she's fundamentally broken in a way that can't be fixed unless she wants to change. She probably never will because she doesn't see herself as the problem. Look how she played the victim when your daughter put the chair on her feet. Look how she called one (or was it more than one?) of the kids a cheater during games. That's crazy. Asking someone to leave because they're abusive and hurting your family isn't crazy. Feeling bad that you had to ask someone to leave because their manners were absolutely atrocious isn't crazy, either. It's human.
1 person likes this
@Freelanzer (9496)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
Sometimes we feel guilty even when we did nothing wrong. I feel that way sometimes when all I am doing is taking care of me or my family first. I am sure your aunt will be just fine.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@Freelanzer Yeah I tried my best with her but I did lose patience once-which is what I feel bad for.
@Gillygirl (17361)
• Sutton, England
10 Jan 17
Please don't feel guilty you need to take things easy and home should be your place of peace bug hugs to you.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@Gillygirl Thank you, I am feeling better about everything today.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119325)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Jan 17
You are feeling guilty because you are a good person. Emotions due to lack of sleep I am sure. I am so glad to hear of her departure. You and your husband were kind enough to take her in and she abused that. I think you were very patient Anyone who has had several children is patient. I wouldn't be patient with someone who abused your children as she did. You have been through an ordeal and now you are relaxing and feeling the after math. I am happy to hear that it finally has happened. I thought it was a dream but finally it is reality.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@celticeagle Thank you. I am really glad to have our home back the way it should be again. She did do some really mean things and she had no patience with our kids at all or our dogs which was frustrating. I'm grateful it is over now. =)
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (119325)
• Boise, Idaho
12 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies .......Good! Moving on now..........!!
• United States
10 Jan 17
The last thing I would feel for her would be guilt. No way, no how.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@Abbygreenhill I know, I just feel like I should have handled myself better.
• United States
10 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies You were fine...move on!
1 person likes this
@magallon (18124)
• Philippines
10 Jan 17
Home sweet home again.. enjoy your day...
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@magallon Yes I am grateful for that.
1 person likes this
@magallon (18124)
• Philippines
11 Jan 17
@DianneN (82679)
• United States
10 Jan 17
I'm quite sure you were very kind and patient to Aunt Mary, as you would be to any guest. She was the guest with the problems. Enjoy your new home in peace.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@DianneN I was for the most part. I had one out burst that I shared on here but my limit was reached at that point. I am glad to have our home back. Thank you! =)
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (171600)
• Switzerland
10 Jan 17
Do not feel guilty, she did everything to make you feel uncomfortable and she was not kind to your kids. It's good that she left.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@LadyDuck I know, I just feel bad for losing my patience when I did. But I'm glad we have peace again!
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (171600)
• Switzerland
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies You have lost your patience because she was very, very rude with you and the kids.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@LadyDuck True and I know it was deserved but I wanted to be a better person than that.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 17
Nothing to be guilty of, she has a roof right now at her daughter's house so its not like you kicked her out to the streets . She was rude to begin with even though you were welcoming her into the home! I'm glad you have your home back and you all can be a happy family again without the extra stress/drama!
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@infatuatedbby Yeah I know. I am just feeling bad for how I reacted to the situation. I know her rudeness came out the first day she arrived-which is weird since most guests take some time to show their true colors. Thank you, I'm looking forward to peace again.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies Don't feel bad It could have ended on better terms if she had been nice to you all. But there is a time where house guests can't live permanently as your family and you need privacy too! Enjoy
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@infatuatedbby Yeah it was starting to feel like she was going to be here forever. I am glad we have our peace again. =)
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39631)
• United States
10 Jan 17
Adios Aunt Mary and don't let the door hit you in the butt!! You did more than any niece by marriage should have to do. Don't feel guilty for a second, Rejoice and Be Glad!!! lol
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@BelleStarr Lol. I am very grateful to have the peace restored in our home. =)
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (39631)
• United States
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies I would be doing my happy dance, come on you can do it!! lol
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@BelleStarr Lol! Today was the first day of peace we have had in a long time and it was lovely. =)
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 17
So when will you be able to enjoy another visit from her ?
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@enlightenedpsych2 Never ever again...
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies oh why not ?
• Pamplona, Spain
10 Jan 17
Lack of sleep and too much stress like that can make you have mixed feelings. I am really glad for you so now you should be able to have some very much needed peace and quiet.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@lovingangelsinstead21 Yeah I think it was a combination of things that made me feel that way. Now I am very grateful to have our home back the way it should be. =)
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies Can I say that I am really glad for all of you. Now you can be yourseleves again. If it were me I would have danced an Irish Jig. Note I said if it had been me. Just take it easy and donĀ“t feel so bad its truly not worth it. You have a right to be on your own and be how you want
@Tina30219 (35200)
• Onaway, Michigan
10 Jan 17
Glad she is finally gone sorry to hear your husband feels the way he does about it if he only understood how she was with you and the kids. Now you can relax and enjoy your new place more now that she is gone.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@Tina30219 Thank you. My husband was ready for her to leave as well-he's glad she is gone! Lol.
@Tina30219 (35200)
• Onaway, Michigan
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies That's good.
@marlina (76834)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
There is no reason AT ALL to feel guilty, you did do a lot more than your share in that situation.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@marlina I know. I just feel bad for losing my patience.
1 person likes this
@marlina (76834)
• Canada
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies I think that you try too hard!
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30320)
• Momence, Illinois
10 Jan 17
I was wondering if she had left. I'm glad things will now settle down.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@fishtiger58 Yeah, things are much more peaceful now. =)
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30320)
• Momence, Illinois
11 Jan 17
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (51336)
• United States
10 Jan 17
It just didn't work out..you helped her out for a time, now she is going her own way. I think it is for the best. It's a shame it didn't work out, but what will be, will be.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@snowy22315 Yeah it was never supposed to be a permanent thing. It was only supposed to be for a few weeks and it turned into 3 months!
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (51336)
• United States
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies I know a lady online who is a bit like that, she can't seem to get along with her family,(in fairness, her son sounds like a jerk) and ended up living in her van at least for awhile. I am not sure what the latest is.
@Morleyhunt (20451)
• Canada
10 Jan 17
Unless you were deliberately provoking Aunt Mary you should have. Othing to feel guilty about this. Use this experience as a lesson and a reminder.....if you ever, and I don't recommend doing so.....invite someone to move into your home, make sure ground rules are established in advance, and possibly a deadline for relocation.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Jan 17
@Morleyhunt Nope I would never do anything like that to anyone-I didn't need the stress and headaches. I just felt bad for losing my patience with her the one time about my daughter. Yes if there is ever a next time things will be talked about from the very first day.
@Morleyhunt (20451)
• Canada
11 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies they need to be discussed before they are in your home. Once they are in it shifts the balance and the guilt also becomes more of a problem.
@TheSojourner (17306)
• United States
10 Jan 17
I am pleased to hear that things are going back to normal. And I hope that everything ended on a better note instead of a bitter note.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Jan 17
@CoralLevang Thank you. =) It didn't end badly, she hugged me before leaving.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Jan 17
@LovingMyBabies she was probably much more grateful then she knows how to say. Doesn't excuse it, but she's probably never had anybody treat her so nicely as you did. And she's probably somebody that doesn't know how or why she does the things she does. She sounds a lot like my mother was. And sometimes the best thing you can do is just distance yourself from them. You are very kind woman. And what you did for her was wonderful.
2 people like this