feelings are complicated
January 15, 2017 7:47am CST
Relationships are complicated. That's something I've come to realize over the years. You can be so angry with someone, but you don't stop loving them. I get upset with my boyfriend a lot, sometimes to the point I'd like to smack the stupidity out of him, of course I don't, but it's definitely an urge I get. Despite that I don't want anything bad happening to him. I can be so angry and want him to just leave me alone, but at the same time I still love him and his well being trumps my feelings of anger. It's so complicated how it all works, how you can want to physically smack someone, but not want any real harm to come to them. Anger is such a powerful emotion, but so is love. There's this meme going around about being upset but still caring, and an old man and woman are sitting separated on a bench with the old man still holding an umbrella over his wife so she doesn't get wet, and I keep thinking about how accurate that is. When you truly love someone, anger doesn't get in the way of your ability to care. It definitely makes things more complicated, but you don't stop caring. If you do, then that may be saying something. You can yell and scream at someone, but drop everything the instant they are hurt. Of course that doesn't make everything go away, but it gets put on the back burner until you know they're OK, you don't get to just forget everything, because if nothing gets solved it will just be an issue later. It has just always amused me the way feelings work. The statement love trumps hate, that's true. Love trumps anger, and it trumps hate, there's a difference between anger and hate, but usually hate has a lot to do with anger. We can be very hateful when we're angry and say things we don't mean. I've always been one to try and watch what I say, because once you say something they can't be unsaid. Anger is a horrible emotion, but I'm pretty sure we've all felt it at some point, and it's a normal emotion, we all have at last one thing that bothers us to the point of anger. Anger can be an extremely powerful emotion, but love is even more powerful. When you truly love someone you won't let a feeling like anger get in the way of that. It's just sad that sometimes the only thing to make you realize how much you love someone is something bad happening.
9 people like this
• United States
It is, and you can respect another's feelings, and still have your own feelings. Anger is natural within relationships, because no one is going to completely agree on everything, and it's important to realize that despite your differences of feelings and opinions that you still love them, and that doesn't change no matter how angry you are, and if it does you probably didn't love them in the first place.
so accurate. well written. But you know what I feel. sometimes this anger makes us realize how actually you care for that one person. and i believe this anger emotion is necessary that balance the relationship anyway. If you love somebody no matter how angry you are, you end up loving that person anyway because you love him and that's a true love.And that conflict between anger and love make the relationship more and more stronger. I love my boyfriend, I get angry bt i know anyway i am going to love that idiot at the end of the day no matter what ..
• United States
lol, and that's how it should be. You will always get angry whether you love the person or not, but it's important that you can put your anger on the back burner when it's necessary, because sometimes a person's pain matters more than your anger. It's good that you can express your feelings in a relationship, if you never fight in a relationship that's not healthy, of course it's not healthy if all you do is fight either. There's a line. Love is rarely calm and rational, and it really shouldn't be. There's a point where it gets calmer and easier, but it's never entirely calm or easy, it just gets a little easier until it gets harder and then it usually gets easier again, at least real love I think. My boyfriend and I argue a lot, we've been through a lot, but ultimately we keep working on it and things start to get better. I can be so angry with him, but when he's in pain emotional or other wise I can put my anger on hold until I know he's OK. Just because you're angry doesn't mean you stop caring.
• United States
I agree, it's not a matter of it being a bad thing, but it's healthy that you can feel angry but still stop everything when you need to, because you know what matters the most. You should be able to express everything with your significant other, and if you can't that should be something you work on.