To Use or Not

United States
February 3, 2017 10:15am CST
When we divided up my mothers wedding china, we each took two place settings. We also took a place setting of each of my grandmothers china. Now I'm debating on whether I should enjoy it and use it or not. I grew up eating from the grandmother's china often. It was the everyday pattern for both of them. My mother's Lenox china we used on all the special occasions that we had formal dinners. Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, some anniversaries etc. I like using a different plate and put away my sets in favor of a stack of different favorite plates I have picked up over the past few years. Now I think I will retire three of them and add a plate and a bowl from each of the plate settings I brought home. They mean a lot to me and I want to enjoy them. There isn't enough place settings to pass on to my girls, who don't have any memories associated with them anyway. If any break, I still will have a cup and saucer and a dessert plate to keep and remember. I don't microwave the plates anyway because I don't like microwaves and didn't bring mine from Ohio so that isn't an issue. So far, I'm using them and enjoying them (but feeling slightly guilty)
21 people like this
21 responses
@Hate2Iron (8029)
• Canada
3 Feb 17
Oh, I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I have a set of crystal that I use just on special occasions. If I lose one, I will be sad, but I also love to see them sitting on the table. If I ever get down to just one water glass, then I will put that one away. Other than that, I'm going to use them and enjoy them!!
4 people like this
@1creekgirl (12498)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I think you're very wise.
• United States
3 Feb 17
Yes, that's the best way!
• United States
3 Feb 17
@1creekgirl I think you are referring to Shirley here, and I agree with you.
@BelleStarr (39847)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I would go to an antique store and pick up a plate to match the set and use that and save grandmas and moms but that is just me
4 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
That is a good idea, but I like using theirs because it belonged to them.
2 people like this
@vickyrose (2031)
• Canberra, Australia
4 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries I use my moms as it brought back warm memories
2 people like this
• United States
5 Feb 17
@vickyrose Yes, I'm finding that out. I wish I had a plate from her everyday now.
1 person likes this
@stbrians (15900)
• Kakamega, Kenya
3 Feb 17
In my area there are some utensils which are only used on special occasions. At times a pastor comes and they are used. Special meals are prepared for him too. The man of the house complains bitterly
4 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
I can see why. He needs to be treated special also!
@DianneN (88052)
• United States
3 Feb 17
Don't feel guilty. My mom saved her China and rarely used it, and for what? It was handed down to her. I let my brother have it, because I have my own fine china, several sets, which is meaningful to me. My most precious is never used. At $1000 a place setting, I don't want anyone breaking any, so I use my other good china. Lol!
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
At least you are using some of your good china. Do you display the expensive set? My mom enjoyed her china on special occasions and the rest of the time it was displayed in a beautiful cabinet. She loved looking at it. I always displayed mine too.
2 people like this
@DianneN (88052)
• United States
3 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries Yes, but I change patterns at times. Your china is beautiful btw!
• United States
3 Feb 17
@DianneN Thank you, I have always liked her pattern and chose a similar one for mine. I liked plain as you can decorate any way you like and it doesn't limit you.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (70817)
• India
4 Feb 17
No point in keeping it. I would use if I were you.
3 people like this
• United States
5 Feb 17
Thanks and I am going to do so without guilt now!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (137101)
• Bunbury, Australia
3 Feb 17
We use all our good 'stuff' now and enjoy it when we do. It can sit in cupboards for decades otherwise and, as in your case, our children will have no memories associated with some of our things.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
I have decided it's the smart plan.
1 person likes this
@marguicha (103973)
• Chile
3 Feb 17
Maybe I should divide the china my mother left me between my daughters. I´m not the kind of person who uses delicate china. I´m dure I´ll break it.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
That would be a lovely gesture if you don't plan to use it.
@amadeo (75915)
• United States
3 Feb 17
everyone change plates now and then.I do not have any heirloom.But do change and the mood t hat I am in
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
I get very bored with a set of plates all alike.
@1creekgirl (12498)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I think you are absolutely right. Enjoy them along with the wonderful memories they have for you. Don't feel guilty!
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
I'm sure the tiny bit of guilt will go away in time.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (119630)
• United States
3 Feb 17
So much meaning in those wonderful pieces of china you have. My husband and I eloped, but Mom bought me 8 place settings of Wedgewood China. I have it on display in my dining room and have never used it. It is beautiful and I fear breaking a piece. One of these days I need to use those beautiful pieces.
2 people like this
@1creekgirl (12498)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I think you should enjoy them and maybe keep back a few pieces. A lot of times, the things that we treasure, but never enjoy, will never be as appreciated by our children when we're gone.
3 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
Actually I still have all 12 place setting of my wedding china intact. I've used them many, many times but only on holidays. They mean something to the kids so I'm going to leave it for them to use or not! I'll still get them out for special.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 17
@1creekgirl You are so right. I will not use all the pieces in the place setting, just the bowl and plate.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (34190)
• Canada
4 Feb 17
My sister-in-law and I had a discussion about our good wedding china this week also. She is in her late 60's and while down-sizing she offered her 2 daughters and daughter-in-law to anything they wanted in her big china cabinet. Nobody wanted a thing. She had some full size Royal Daulton figurines, worth hundreds each, and beautiful china. It was her granddaughters who stepped up and asked for the figurines and some of the china. I say if you have that china use it, your mother and grandmother would want you to. And maybe nobody will want it after you pass it down-the next generation is funny that way.
2 people like this
• United States
5 Feb 17
That is a shame, but it shows that you just can't guarantee your treasures will be treasured so use them for yourself and what is still there can be left to the next generation to do with as they will. Every time I used my own china, I so enjoyed my coffee in the cups and saucers that I used one for a week or so afterwards! Sometimes I think they stayed special because I didn't use them everyday. But saying that, I am glad that I used my wedding china over the years at least three or four times a year.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (34190)
• Canada
5 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries We've used my wedding china every Sunday and then the special occasions as well. I loved teaching our son how to eat like a gentleman using all of his manners off of those dishes.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 17
@Juliaacv I think that is really how wedding china should be used. Your son was lucky to have been taught to eat like a gentleman. People are way to casual with their family meals and many sons do not learn the basics.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 17
I inherited my moms good China but its still packed in a box. I've been thinking of unpacking it and using it as my ever day dishes since I always liked it. I have my own China from when I got married but only use it for holidays The China in your picture is very pretty
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
Go for it!! That's a great idea! Pretty dishes should be used.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries your post encouraged me to stop saving those dishes and to start using them. Life is too short not to enjoy such things
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 17
@Marilynda1225 Oh that makes me so happy to hear! I am really enjoying my mom's dishes and now I wish I had a plate from her everyday set too. But I didn't take one as it was newish. I was actually with her when she bought them. I did discover I have a salad plate from her previous set that she had for a very long time, so that makes me really happy. I've always loved a mish mash of dishes anyway!
@TheSojourner (17298)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I believe that you should use it. Otherwise, you will leave this earth and someone else will find the old settings and not see the same "value"/meaning of them and toss them. Enjoy life, things, and memories while we are still alive. Life is for LIVING, not waiting.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
That's what I was thinking, my girls will not have the same attachment. They like MY china because there is a history there that includes them.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries Use it. Love it. Tell the stories while you can.
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Feb 17
@CoralLevang I am going to do just that and without guilt!
1 person likes this
@PatZAnthony (13117)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
3 Feb 17
We use everything, no matter how valuable it is supposed to be. We remember our g'parents and older aunts saying they saving things 'for special occasions' and would not use the more valuable things. To me, a special occasion is any day you are still breathing.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
Boy that's the truth! I was reading a letter from my grandma to my mother. She was thanking her for a nightie. She said she wore it that night and it was the first time ever she didn't save a new nightie for 'good". She was in her late 80's! That made me chuckle!
@Gillygirl (17606)
• Sutton, England
3 Feb 17
I wouldn't feel guilty at all. If you are getting pleasure from the china then why not. It looks delightful in the photo and you have kept a few pieces back as a reminder.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
Yes, you are right. I'm using the middle one for dinner tonight. Mom's china.
1 person likes this
@dfollin (12777)
• United States
3 Feb 17
I used to use my grandma's china! That is what it's there for.
2 people like this
• United States
3 Feb 17
Yep. It's silly to pack the things we love away.
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10557)
• Cochin, India
4 Feb 17
yes we are also using good stuffs and the rest of the others are resting in cupboards. If there is rough use we can manage all thing.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 17
I am enjoying using the plates, it's so nice to use good stuff.
1 person likes this
@shshiju (10557)
• Cochin, India
6 Feb 17
@Jeanniemaries that's good to use. But we have no places to use all.
1 person likes this
@Inlemay (17141)
• South Africa
6 Feb 17
USE THEM - that was their intended purpose, just handle with care - They are beautiful
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Feb 17
Oh, I'm using them. I'm not even feeling guilty anymore.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (26765)
• United States
4 Feb 17
They are so pretty. I particularly like the one with the flower pattern.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Feb 17
Yes, that one is called Fairy Dell (isn't that a great name?) It's Copeland Spode from England. I enjoyed them often at her house as she lived nearby and we visited frequently.
1 person likes this
@vickyrose (2031)
• Canberra, Australia
4 Feb 17
I'd use them. I am now using my display dinner set.
1 person likes this