What Does The Lion Say To The Lioness?

lions
@MALUSE (30056)
Denmark
February 16, 2017 1:44pm CST
The last item of the Guideline rules states that it's not allowed to post jokes. That's understandable because a joke is never the original work of a member. Who thinks up or invents jokes will forever remain a mystery. The workers on the pyramids in Egypt may have told each other many of the jokes we hear or read today and consider as new - if we hear them for the first time. It's the same as with fairy tales or with literary plots in general. You can see them as dressmakers' mannequins which are always the same, only dressed up differently according to the current fashion. If you like jokes but don't know any yourself which you could tell yourself and chuckle on and don't know anyone who could tell you new ones, you can find more than enough on the net. I've chanced on a site with the silliest jokes imaginable. I'm not a lol type, I'm more an IG (inner grinner). I can tell you that they - or rather most of them - don't disappoint. One of the sites contains only animal jokes. They're listed according to the animals which are joked about in alphabetical order from Alpaca over Lemur, Mole, Sloth and Yak to Zebra to name but a few. There must be hundreds! No risk, no fun. I'm now going to quote one of my fave lion jokes. The fact that we don't understand what animals talk about to each other doesn't mean that they don't talk to each other, does it? Look at the photo. Can you hear what the lion is saying to his wifey? "A lion would never cheat on his wife. But a Tiger Wood." --- photo: pixabay
A collection of funny jokes about Lions
29 people like this
28 responses
@Mike197602 (13422)
• Worcester, England
16 Feb
I just can't believe you used the word fave
5 people like this
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
@MIKE197602 I learnt this and other colloquial terms on British writing sites. I hope you appreciate this.
7 people like this
@Mike197602 (13422)
• Worcester, England
16 Feb
@MALUSE I do
4 people like this
@JudyEv (91810)
• Bunbury, Australia
16 Feb
@MALUSE Way to go Malu!
2 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (62091)
• Canada
16 Feb
Love the joke!! too funnt!! I am going to check out your link. My grand daughter is coming over this evening so she will love the animal jokes!!
2 people like this
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
This is only the link for the lion jokes. As I've written, there are loads of others as well. You will be occupied the whole evening. :-)
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (62091)
• Canada
17 Feb
@MALUSE lol thanks.
1 person likes this
@1creekgirl (7387)
• United States
16 Feb
That did make me lol!
2 people like this
@nanette64 (12341)
• Fairfield, Texas
18 Feb
I love the picture @MALUSE . The female lion is tensing up to attack the photographer. The male lion says, "Wait for it....just another foot closer....smile....."
1 person likes this
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
18 Feb
Thank you. I'm glad you like it.
2 people like this
@PainsOnSlate (18660)
• Canada
18 Feb
Thanks for the laugh...
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (112985)
• Switzerland
17 Feb
This is a good one. I have opened the page of Lion Jokes, some are funny.
1 person likes this
17 Feb
I'm an IG too! And one of my favourite t-shirts is one which says, NELI ... Not Even Laughing Inwardly. :)
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (12006)
• United Kingdom
16 Feb
Hmm yes ! I cannot see why people can't post the odd joke if it will brighten someones day and be a catalyst for a discussion!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (91810)
• Bunbury, Australia
16 Feb
That is funny. I'm always intrigued as to how these jokes come about. Something might happen in the news and there is instantly a dozen jokes flying round the world in emails and FB.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (23428)
16 Feb
That lion does look contented and wifey looks confident.
1 person likes this
@hostessman (6630)
• Tucson, Arizona
16 Feb
i don't see anything wrong with telling jokes. your suppose to wright what your thinking and that is what you are thinking about..
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
@hostessman Please check the Guidelines. Pure jokes are not allowed.
1 person likes this
• Tucson, Arizona
17 Feb
@MALUSE i know what it says but I am just telling my oppinion
@Corbin5 (74000)
• United States
16 Feb
Thank you for the link. Yep, I bet a "Tiger Wood" would cheat on his wife, but never a lion. Right now, I am enjoying the dog jokes.
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
Do you agree that some jokes are so silly that they're funny?
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (74000)
• United States
16 Feb
@MALUSE Yes. My first thought was that my former students, the younger ones, would think these are hilarious. Kids love silly. Me too. Q: What do you call a frozen dog? A: A pupsicle.
@pgntwo (20360)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
16 Feb
Oh dear. I'd have advised you not to give up the day job, but it's too late, I fear!
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
You've forgotten that I'm retired. No job to give up.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (20360)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
16 Feb
@MALUSE I had not forgotten, I was grinning on the inside.
@Fleura (5434)
• United Kingdom
2 Mar
Shall I tell you a couple of my fave jokes? Why do anarchists drink herbal tea? Because proper tea is theft. Have you heard about the agnostic dyslexic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering whether there is a dog.
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
2 Mar
Goody!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (5434)
• United Kingdom
2 Mar
Oh dear that is groanworthy.
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
2 Mar
But it's good, isn't it?
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (20996)
• United States
20 Feb
I am also more of an inner grinner.
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
20 Feb
Goody! Now we're already two.
• Manahawkin, New Jersey
18 Feb
Great topic. Beautiful picture. Have a great day. Thank you for responding to many of my posts. I appreciate it!
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
18 Feb
You're welcome.
@andriaperry (28092)
• Anniston, Alabama
17 Feb
LOVE THIS!
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
17 Feb
It's brilliant, isn't it?
@JohnRoberts (35953)
• Los Angeles, California
16 Feb
Very good!
@MALUSE (30056)
• Denmark
16 Feb
Thank you!
1 person likes this
@LoriAMoore (8706)
• United States
22 Feb
That is a great joke!