Ten Pop Songs That Make Me Cringe: Don't Let Living Tissue Hear This Song! (#1)

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It's time for the king of pukers. If you're trying to lose weight, I guarantee you this song will help. You won't be able to do anything but hug a toilet for weeks after hearing this. The United Nations has designated playing this song a crime against humanity. PLEASE proceed with caution. Here's the worst pop song in history. #1: H*ney - Bobby Goldsboro That's right. The song is so disgusting I can't even type its name out. See the tree, how big it's grown? Well, I prefer Homer & Jethro's approach: find the tree and chop the dang thing down! What, you may ask, makes this song more anathema than yesterday's? The music. If Paul Anka had been singing, "you're building my engine, I'm a mechanic in love and I love what you're doing to it," that song would have been fine. With this song, all you have is saccharine. And, like saccharine, this leaves a woeful aftertaste. I haven't heard this song in a good 40 years and I still shudder at the mention of that whiny Bobby Goldsboro voice singing this hunk of dog excrement....with apologies to dogs who can produce far better results than this song. Now, you may remember a couple of days ago, in my "Saturday" song countdown, my #1 song was "Saturday Morning Confusion" by Bobby Russell. Russell had quite a few good songs. I also liked his "1432 Franklin Pike Circle Hero;" and, if you didn't know, he wrote "The Night the Lights Went Out in Georgia," which was the only hit for his then-wife, Vicki Lawrence. But a garbage truck must've run over him while he was getting his mail on Franklin Pike Circle for him to have come up with this. Plot of the song: guy is reminiscing about his dead wife. Complete with Goldsboro's whiny voice, strings, and backing vocals going, "awwwwwww," as in, "Awwwww, doesn't this song SUCK!!!" And, naturally, this thing was #1 for five weeks. Part of it may have been national sentiment: according to Picky Wedia, it hit #1 the week Reverend Martin Luther King was assassinated. The list of people who for some unfortunate reason chose to cover this bedpan refuse is a mile long. What were they thinking, too? Bobby Goldsboro has the distinction of having another song on many "worst-ever songs" list: "Watching Scotty Grow." That song, written by Mac Davis about his son, isn't nearly as bad. Thanks for reading, and my apologies. H*ney Written by Bobby Russell Recorded by Bobby Goldsboro From H*ney, 1968 A far better song with "that word" in the title (from an album all the guys bought for its cover):