Domestic Violence the Killer at Home

@lokisdad (4265)
United States
February 27, 2017 8:12am CST
Domestic Violence is a common thing that occurs in homes all across the globe. Domestic Violence is a society Killer. Domestic violence not only affects those who are directly involved but also those around them and anyone that comes in contact with the victims and person/s committing the offense. Domestic violence has a ripple effect. This is a vicious cycle to break if it ever gets broken at all. Many times its vicious grip isn't broken until it ends in the tragic death or injury of a person/s. Domestic violence is a silent killer. Why do I call it that? It kills people ,families,and we don't always see or hear of it until it is already too late. It isn't just a poor people thing its like AIDS it doesn't discriminate it kills everyone and anyone in its path. Most times they get away with it because we turn a blind eye to it or we pacify ourselves into thinking that this is the norm. We silence it because we don't acknowledge it. Domestic violence runs ramped in our back yards growing like weeds choking out any thing else that might potentially grow there. I chose to write about this because I suddenly found it in my yard. I do not condone domestic violence. Not a man hitting a woman or a woman hitting a man. The reason I say that is because it is more commonly believed that domestic violence is when the man beats a woman. It is not heard of as often but happens more than you would think. Woman beating their boyfriends/husbands. Well I know this kind of thing happens and since we moved into the new house and I have ventured out and begun to meet new people in the neighborhood. I happen to notice that I am surrounded by it more than I knew. Izzy is not one who is quick to make friends for many reasons but mostly because she finds humanity to be sorely lacking and rather disappointing. She always says I rather be alone than to have to suffer being poorly accompanied. So the longer we live here the more people we come across and the more we get to know the people the more we know about what is going on around us. Apparently we have two families in our neighborhood as far as we know suffering from this vile disease known as domestic violence. The funny thing is we met both of the families. Each of them said the same thing don't bother with the other. We of course say nothing just one of those things that you make a mental note of in your dually noted to be taken under advisement. The thing is we also note the things that are not being said because actions speak louder than words. Sometimes its the things you don't say that speak volumes to others. Family A. The Wife beats the drunken husband and berates him in front of others. The kicker was when she was saying how he has beaten her in the past yet what we saw was her beating him. We calmly collected our children and excused ourselves with false pretense and exit stage left! Family B. The Husband beats the drunken wife and berates her in front of others. The kicker on that one was that the wife stopped being friends with wife from Family A because she felt that it was wrong . Wife B unexpectedly showed up at our home without invitation yesterday. She showed up barely able to walk from being intoxicated. Izzy wanted to ask her to leave before her even making it to the door but she thought it would be wrong so she let her in. She later was sorry she did. Wife B told Izzy she didn't want to go home because she was going to be abused. So Izzy said abused how like beaten? Yes ,he beats me up when ever he gets mad that I am not worshiping him. Izzy said I have been there done that and after I promised myself I would never do it again and I haven't. My wife says walk away. He has stuff over me! Izzy well take it away from him don't let him have such power over you. If you're drinking is what he is holding over you stop drinking so that he can't say you do because if he did he would be lying. How dare you? How can you sit there and judge me? Izzy said look I won't sugar coat this for you I am not judging you I simply stated an alternate solution if you don't want my opinion don't ask for it. I am not ever leaving my husband he is a good father and provider. Go ahead Isabelle say it I know you are thinking something so say it. Izzy: No need you said all I need to hear. You said it he is a great provider you aren't ever leaving what else is there to say? Izzy said look its getting late and I have to put my children down tomorrow is a weekday and I have to be up early so we are going to wrap this up and call it a night. You kicking me out? Yes you have to go home. I will drive you home. No that will get me in more trouble he will think its because I was too drunk to walk home. Izzy said well suit yourself I will watch you Izzy followed from a distance. Izzy walked back home and said and this is why I don't bother making friends or leaving the house much anymore unless I am going to go do something. She wants nothing to do with either family. She made a good point allowing them in our lives leaves the impression to our children that we find the behavior to be acceptable. Its not acceptable everyone should keep their hands to themselves. You have a mouth and words and we should use them to express ourselves. Domestic Violence is the killer at home. It is the well respected,gainfully employed spouse, good neighbor. It is the poor family, interracial couple, social butterflies. It is a war at home we are losing because we don't even know its going on or have no way to kill it or cure it.
8 people like this
5 responses
28 Feb 17
I have a friend who has a very volatile and loveless marriage. i advise her to leave, but she won't. i feel bad for her, but there's nothing more i can do than to just advise her.
1 person likes this
@lokisdad (4265)
• United States
1 Mar 17
Yeah can't make people do what they don't want. We feel bad for the kids
2 people like this
@PatZAnthony (12863)
• Charlotte, North Carolina
28 Feb 17
There are way too many cases of domestic violence. It is true, we don't know until it is too late in most cases. Then, the survivors are left to deal with what happened for the rest of their years. This should be spoken about more, but it won't be from what we are seeing.
1 person likes this
@lokisdad (4265)
• United States
28 Feb 17
It still seems to be a taboo thing to speak about for many. People who stay in these relationships often have a lot of emotional issues to work through and they don't seek help and they keep living in the same looped circle of abuse. We have grown up witnessing abuse in one form or another and agreed to not raise our own like we did. So we have broken the cycle and hope that the generations to come keep it as such.
@Kandae11 (40188)
27 Feb 17
Domestic violence is very prevalent in the Caribbean, and as you pointed out-- men are also being abused by women - I wrote a discussion about this fact some time ago titled -" Hidden Abuse".
1 person likes this
@lokisdad (4265)
• United States
27 Feb 17
It's truly sad nobody should have to live that way. We seem to be the healthiest relationship we have seen out of anyone we have met so far. As for men being abused it is as bad just not reported as often. Kind of like men who get raped. They feel so emasculated ,ashamed and weak so they don't report it especially because the idea that someone usually smaller than themselves has over powered them.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35529)
• United States
2 Mar 17
I am a survivor of abuse from childhood and Adulthood. Too many times all the abuser gets is a slap on the wrist and go back and do it all again.
@lokisdad (4265)
• United States
2 Mar 17
This is true the system is broken but we have to put our foot down sometimes because of this very reason the system doesn't always work and when it doesn't well we sometimes have to take matters into our own hands and find ways to defend ourselves the best we can.
@FayeHazel (19053)
• United States
27 Feb 17
It's a sad topic and I often wonder how people who start off liking / loving each other can justify that behavior.
@lokisdad (4265)
• United States
27 Feb 17
I have no idea what makes them change to do such a thing.