Coping With The Memories

@Juliaacv (33294)
Canada
March 2, 2017 8:16am CST
It was March 2, 1991 when she left us. It was a cold, partly cloudy day, just like it is today here on March 2, 2017. We had absolutely no idea what that day held in store for us. My husband's only wish for Feb 26th, which was his birthday, was to wake up and have his baby girl (he really wanted a daughter) sleeping peacefully in her crib at the foot of our bed. He got that wish..... By noon on March 2, 1991 she had gone on. Her heart stopped beating, she was born with congenital heart disease and it was so bad she wasn't even a candidate for surgery. But somehow, our hearts continue to beat. And ironically as they pound with sadness, any day, but especially on this day, we feel the cold of the day and the absence in our family. Coping with the memories from 26 years ago today are hard, but I cannot imagine our lives without her in it at all. RIP Brittany Jeanne Nicole-Momma loves you dearly.
18 people like this
22 responses
@LadyDuck (176579)
• Switzerland
2 Mar 17
Sad memories stay with us for the rest of our life. I am very sorry Julia, at least you have a wonderful son.
4 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you Anna I do not think that my husband and son and I would have the incredibly strong bond that we do had we not experienced our loss together. I cannot help but to think that is the silver lining to this very dark cloud, because we feel such great joy so often as a result of our tight bond.
3 people like this
@LadyDuck (176579)
• Switzerland
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv Sometimes life seems cruel, but what happens make us appreciate more other situations. It's hard, but it's life.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@LadyDuck That is right. My husband has 3 siblings that have also lost children, and we share a common bond also. But the appreciation and love that we feel for our son is beyond words, and the bond that all 3 of us share.......there is nothing else like it in the world. We don't know why we were choosen, but we were, and we'll forever have an angel in our corner for this lifetime.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74936)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
I am so sorry my beautiful friend that you and your family had to go through such a terrible loss. Brittany touched your lives greatly in her short time here on earth. My thoughts and prayers are with you today.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you. I cannot tell you what I wore yesterday, but will always remember the details of that day that we lost her. I get that empty arms feeling so often when people ask me is that your only child-speaking of our son, its a delicate matter. And it helps me when I come across couples experiencing infidelity. We had a young guy whose wife delivered a still born last September, I didn't know him personally, but in the months since, we have developed a bond. He told me today that he admired me and that he hopes that they stay as strong as we have. What else can you do?
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74936)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv that is great that you are able to help others their their grief. My mom lost her only son. He was a day old when he passed. She talked of him often and she always celebrated his birthday in some special way each year right until she passed away. I often wonder what it would have been like to have a brother. I have five sisters. Even though he was born many years before me I often think of him.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74936)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv that would be nice for him to do. Wish you could be with them.
1 person likes this
@Corbin5 (116145)
• United States
2 Mar 17
She was a blessing to you and your husband. She was there for just a while so that she could make her way into your hearts and be kept there forever. I am praying for you on this difficult day, my friend.
2 people like this
@Corbin5 (116145)
• United States
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv I always remember that we are not our parents' children. We are God's children and sometimes He needs his children home with Him.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@Corbin5 You're so right. Are we related, we site the same on so many issues? And you know, my husband and I were holding my Dad's hand when he passed, and for a few minutes before he kept on looking at me, smiling, and it felt like he was looking right thru me. I have a feeling that he saw his little granddaughter, Brittany, beckoning for him to come. My husband is feeling it today, its a bad year for him, some years are worse then others for whatever reason.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@Corbin5 Sadly my beloved Dad never got to hold his dear granddaughter here on earth, so I have no doubt that they are basking in each other's company watching over us now.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 17
I'm so sorry, I can't imagine the pain of losing a child. Your post brought tears to my eyes for your loss.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
I'm sorry, I don't mean to make anyone that sad as to cry. I never ever realized what a blessing a healthy baby is, not until we started having kids, and my husband and I were out at the cemetery and I saw a tombstone with one of his sister's last name on it, and he explained to me then that they had a son that passed away, and then he proceeded to tell me that he has 2 brothers that lost kids also. And we have quite a few young adults in that generation living with the heart defect, as well as a couple in the next generation. But with the medical advances today, they can, and have operated successfully on the unborn child's heart during around the 28th week of pregnancy. Tricky surgery but doable.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@Jeanniemaries I remember when your hubby passed, seems like just yesterday.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv It does seem like yesterday but already it's been 2 1/2 years. It's amazing one can cope with such circumstances when losing such close family but we do.
1 person likes this
@katsmeow1213 (29047)
• United States
2 Mar 17
I've never lost a child and I hope I never do!
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
Its very difficult, and you never emerge from it unscathed. There is another member on here who lost a son a few years ago, and she and I support each other having both been there.
• United States
3 Mar 17
@Juliaacv A friend of mine lost her 11 year old son last summer. I just can't imagine..
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
@katsmeow1213 Its a very difficult thing for a parent to go thru, something that forever changes your life in ways you cannot imagine.
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Mar 17
I am so sorry that happened to your family. I was constantly worried for the the first 17 months of my daughter's life. She too had a heart defect and finally had open heart surgery at that age. She recovered very well. It would be so hard to lose a child.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Mar 17
@Juliaacv So sad, and am so sorry.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
@JamesHxstatic Thank you
1 person likes this
@amadeo (73281)
• United States
2 Mar 17
you will always have this memory.Why not.So sorry
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thanks Fredo, you're a true friend.
@amadeo (73281)
• United States
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv I try to be and same there.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
@amadeo You're a great guy!
@JudyEv (134917)
• Bunbury, Australia
3 Mar 17
This must have been so devastating. I'm so sorry.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
Thank you, its been a very long time ago, but it will be felt for the rest of our lives.
1 person likes this
@just4him (127167)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
2 Mar 17
I'm so sorry for your loss and the tears you've shed.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
3 Mar 17
Thank you. Out of it all I come to the understanding that our time here is just on loan until The Master calls us back.
@PainsOnSlate (20535)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
So sad and I can feel your love for her. I'm so sorry for your loss.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you Your support over the years has meant a lot to me.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (20996)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
The memory never leaves you. She will always be in your heart.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Yes, you are right. But she is that presence that we feel lifting us up on sad or tiring days, and we are all aware of that and thankful for it.
1 person likes this
@Dena91 (4652)
• United States
2 Mar 17
Prayers for you and your family
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you, I appreciate that. I've pondered a lot today of that day all of those years ago, the typical start to the morning, until the tragic news and how we handled that.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (26203)
• United States
19 Mar 17
I am so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain of losing a child.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
19 Mar 17
Thank you, it was so difficult, and we had been told that we couldn't have any more children. That was a hard pill to swallow, but it made us realize our blessing in the fact that our son was born healthy and happy.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (26203)
• United States
19 Mar 17
@Juliaacv after my son was born I was told that I couldn't have anymore. You and I are both so blessed to have our boys
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
19 Mar 17
@Tampa_girl7 I'm sorry. We are both blessed to have our sons.
• Philippines
2 Mar 17
So sorry to hear your loss. Both good and sad moments always stay as memories we go back to.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
That's exactly how we feel on this day, sad and happy memories of a life spent with us for too short, yet so precious.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 17
@Juliaacv and if there is any consolation at least there are memories to hold on to.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
@nottoooldtowrite The memories and the feelings
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30319)
• Momence, Illinois
2 Mar 17
I know these memories have to be difficult for your entire family. I can't imagine your pain. My condolences. Hang in there.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you, her memory is the brightest spot to any of our days.
1 person likes this
@fishtiger58 (30319)
• Momence, Illinois
3 Mar 17
@Juliaacv You are so very welcome.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (17367)
• Sutton, England
2 Mar 17
I hope you get through this sad day with the love of your family.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thanks @Gillygirl
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (17367)
• Sutton, England
3 Mar 17
@Juliaacv You are welcome.
1 person likes this
• Ponce De Leon, Florida
2 Mar 17
I am sorry for your loss.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you.
@1creekgirl (11961)
• United States
2 Mar 17
Oh, that must be a heartache that you never truly recover from. You are in my prayers on this sad anniversary.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you, she's our little angel that we'll never forget.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
2 Mar 17
Hmmmm it hurts just reading it so I can't imagine how you feel. I know it's so sad to have that happened... But I guess it is just good to know that all babies go straight to heaven and being taking care by Jesus lovingly... They say they grew up there even the unborn kids and play with the angels and other relatives there. So keep smiling to send it to heaven I know Jesus will welcome that smile and take it to your little daughter. God bless.
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Thank you, I do that, some days are easier then others.
@JolietJake (51107)
• United States
2 Mar 17
1 person likes this
@Juliaacv (33294)
• Canada
2 Mar 17
Yup, all day long, I hate this time of the year so much. Better days have to be on the horizon, with happier memories.
1 person likes this