~Don't Need Friends Like That~

Jacksonville, Florida
March 9, 2017 7:16am CST
Good morning everyone. I hope your all doing okay and I hope this discussion will make sense with my exhaustion level. Lol. I was thinking a little bit ago about a friend who says she cares and misses me but yet lives 30 minutes away and never comes to see me and only calls once a month. I don't drive so unfortunately the only effort I'm able to make is calling or texting-which I was doing a lot. You know, I'm getting to the point in my life where I know everyone is in your life for a season-some longer than others. I also know I'm happy with my own family and I don't need people in my life who don't want to be in it... I don't want or need friends who don't actually care. If you want to be a good friend-you have to make an effort of some sort. I have enough real life stress to worry about so not sweating the small stuff.
41 people like this
37 responses
• Philippines
9 Mar 17
As they say, when we grow older the lesser friends we have but only the true ones remain.
9 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@nottoooldtowrite That's the truth. We only need the real ones in our lives.
3 people like this
• Philippines
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies quality over quantity.
3 people like this
@marlina (71258)
• Canada
9 Mar 17
People change, don't worry about her anymore. You have enough on your plate already.
7 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@marlina Yeah I was just writing it out here so I was able to move on.
3 people like this
@marlina (71258)
• Canada
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies Good therapy to write it out.
3 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@marlina Yes it is. =)
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74336)
• Canada
9 Mar 17
Yes I do agree with that. Where she knows that you don't drive she should make the effort to come visit or arrange sometime together. Time slips away and people get busy and lose track of time. I don't have many friends and I am okay with that but sometimes it is nice to have good friends to spend time with or talk with.
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@Happy2beme Yeah she swore when we moved she would still come visit but she's been here one time since we moved. I miss her but I won't beg anyone to be in my life. I have my family things going on so it's okay.
3 people like this
@Happy2BeMe (74336)
• Canada
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies Yes I agree. You shouldn't have to beg people to be in your life.
1 person likes this
@amnabas (9951)
• Karachi, Pakistan
9 Mar 17
It's too difficult to keep in contact with friends in this busy life as we all are busy with our own families.
5 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@amnabas A phone call or text doesn't take long. I have 5 children, a husband and 2 dogs. I still make time for people I care about. That's not a good excuse to me...
@LadyDuck (147312)
• Switzerland
9 Mar 17
I fully agree with you. I am well with my husband, I like to receive friends and family, but if they do not make an effort I do not complain. My husband is enough for me.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@Ladyduck Yeah I'm good with my husband and kids. I like having a friend or two but only ones that want to be in my life.
2 people like this
@LadyDuck (147312)
• Switzerland
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies Same for me, I do not care of those who never have time for you.
1 person likes this
@sugartoes (39261)
• Greencastle, Indiana
9 Mar 17
that's the way to do it, if someone cared enough to want to be your friend then they SHOULD care enough to stay in touch rather it be 30 mins down the road or a thousand miles away. If they can't come & visit you when they're that CLOSE then you SURE don't need them when you have enough to deal with.
4 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@sugartoes Yeah I thought she was a true friend but it's okay. I'm happy with my family and glad I saw her true colors now.
2 people like this
@sugartoes (39261)
• Greencastle, Indiana
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies that's the way it goes when you THINK you have a friend they show who they really are.
2 people like this
@Kandae11 (35094)
9 Mar 17
She lives thirty minutes away? No - that's not good enough.
3 people like this
@sjvg1976 (18034)
• Delhi, India
9 Mar 17
it happens with me too. People whom I think to be my best friends are not . They just pretend to be as they never ever tried to know how I am. Lately I don't feel like having friends , for me my family is my friend.
2 people like this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@sjvg1976 Yeah I'm good with my husband and kids. I can't put in one sided effort anymore with people.
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (10774)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
10 Mar 17
I have two close friends, one I've known since Junior High and the other I was in the Army with, whom I don't see or talk to very often, sometimes not for months or years, but because they are truly friends, the time between doesn't matter as when we do get the chance to talk or meet, we pick up right where we left off. If your friend isn't that kind of friend, perhaps cutting the tie, if it leads to you being less stressed, is the right thing to do.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Mar 17
@dwdavis It's not like that with her unfortunately. We don't really connect anymore and when I do make contact I feel like a burden more than anything else.
1 person likes this
@DWDavis (10774)
• Pikeville, North Carolina
11 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies Then I think you know it's time to cut the ties that bind you to her, for your own sake.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@DWDavis Yeah I think so too even though that makes me sad.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117189)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Mar 17
I am pretty picky about my friends. I have a few and those are special. I don't worry about having a lot. Quality, not quantity.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Mar 17
@celticeagle I don't have many friends either, but this one I thought was a good friend. Apparently not.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (117189)
• Boise, Idaho
10 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies ......Better you learn that now before you have put more time into it.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (17278)
• Sutton, England
9 Mar 17
I thoroughly agree with you and cut out what I called my fair weather friends years ago. As you have not long had Josiah your friend should have seen you, I know I would have visited a friend in your situation.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@Gillygirl Yeah I was surprised that she doesn't seem to care much anymore. But as I said I'm okay with my own family. I just had to vent about it here first. Now I can move forward.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (17278)
• Sutton, England
9 Mar 17
@LovingMyBabies It is probably for the best. I had something similar and was upset at first but realised later I was right to move on.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (32599)
• Philippines
9 Mar 17
I actually keep a small circle of friends. It is not the quantity that counts but the quality.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@allen0187 I absolutely agree with you.
1 person likes this
@allen0187 (32599)
• Philippines
12 Mar 17
@mosherii (396)
10 Mar 17
Such friends just say they miss you to just to look good.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@mosherii I agree with you.
@GardenGerty (96669)
• Marion, Kansas
10 Mar 17
You have to watch where you spend your energy. It is not your job to always be the one reaching out.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Mar 17
@Gardengerty Yeah it's very one sided and when I do text I get one word answers. Not really worth it to me.
@Tampa_girl7 (24895)
• United States
10 Mar 17
I just read the other day that when you feel someone is avoiding you or ignoring you , just don't disturb them
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Mar 17
@Tampa_girl7 Yeah I can't put energy into someone who isn't going to do the same for me.
• United States
9 Mar 17
Friendship is a two-way street - sounds like she's on a one-way road.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
10 Mar 17
@Abbygreenhill Yes it is a 2 way street-and this relationship has been only one sided lately.
@jstory07 (65289)
• Roseburg, Oregon
9 Mar 17
A good friend will be there when you need them. So if your friend is not there for you. Than time to just live for your own family for awhile.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@jstory07 She used to be an amazing friend and I held her close for so long but now I feel like I annoy her when I do make contact.
1 person likes this
@skysnap (17818)
9 Mar 17
yeah life can be stressful sometimes. have a good day ahead.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
9 Mar 17
@skysnap Yes it can.
1 person likes this
@UncleJoe (9469)
• Virginia Beach, Virginia
9 Mar 17
I don't know your friend so I'm taking a long shot. Is she married? Does she have children? Does she have her own responsibilities to tend too? Life causes that. By the same token, even if you drove, with home-schooling and all your other domestic responsibilities, would you ever have the time to go visit her? Sometimes we get so busy with our own lives that "extra" time escapes us.
1 person likes this
• Jacksonville, Florida
11 Mar 17
@UncleJoe Yes she does have her own family but a phone call or text doesn't take long. I feel as if I'm a burden to her now instead of a friend. I don't want to be that to anyone so I would rather just cut ties for now. Who knows maybe in the future we will reconnect.
1 person likes this
@megatron777 (3779)
• Guam
10 Mar 17
Some people are pretentious---great pretender. Be cautious with such kind of people.
1 person likes this