To accept or not to accept- That is the question

@sol_cee (18436)
Japan
March 12, 2017 11:39pm CST
A few months ago I wrote about my youngest brother being overly public on social media with his gf and how I hated it. Surprise, surprise they are still together. Recently, he started taking her to our family gatherings and was in every photo I could lay my eyes on. You see, I only live by the pictures they send me online as I am not there physically. It annoys me to see a stranger on the background but I haven't said anything about it. Yet. Then earlier today, SHE sent me a friend request on FB. What should I do? Photo is of me trying to appease the gods.
21 people like this
23 responses
@much2say (40937)
• United States
13 Mar 17
Hi sol-cee-san! I probably missed that post so I'm not sure of the entire situation. Is it that this girl seems to be around your brother so much - and now family too - but it is difficult because you are not there? Or maybe there is something about her you do not approve of? It's hard to judge situations based on FB photos and posts - it might not tell the whole story - all may not be as it seems. But she is reaching out to you . . . maybe it would be good to get to know her and give it a chance? And if you end up not liking the exchange, you can always unfriend her.
3 people like this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
Hi smilepie-san. I don't approve her being too clingy. Jealous sister I am. Lol
2 people like this
@much2say (40937)
• United States
21 Mar 17
@sol_cee Ah, now I think I understand. My sister in law may feel that way about me - I have been with her younger brother since he was 18.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
@much2say That long? That young? Wow.
2 people like this
@shaggin (39821)
• United States
13 Mar 17
I do remember your post about your brother but I think it is good that they are still together and he isn't just flitting between a bunch of girls like most students do. I remember you didn't want him saying and wanting him concentrating on his school work though.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
13 Mar 17
I still insist he graduates first. Am I asking for too much?
1 person likes this
@shaggin (39821)
• United States
13 Mar 17
@sol_cee are you paying for his education?
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
14 Mar 17
@shaggin I give him his allowance monthly and some more.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (141761)
• Bunbury, Australia
13 Mar 17
I'm not sure of the background here but perhaps you should take this chance to get to know her better.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
17 Mar 17
It would mean looking at her countless selfies. But hey, why not.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (141761)
• Bunbury, Australia
17 Mar 17
@sol_cee I'd find it hard to put up with countless selfies.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
18 Mar 17
@JudyEv Lol yeah
1 person likes this
@LadyDuck (188687)
• Switzerland
13 Mar 17
I think you should accept her request, you can always unfriend her if something goes wrong.
2 people like this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
17 Mar 17
Thinking about that 'if something goes wrong' is a little bit scary. lol
2 people like this
@sishy7 (27592)
• Australia
16 Mar 17
My son has the same Jansport backpack...
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
17 Mar 17
Which son?
1 person likes this
@sishy7 (27592)
• Australia
17 Mar 17
@sol_cee Middle ones... One has exactly the same color and the other has a maroon/burgundy color...
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
@sishy7 I have one in pink.
1 person likes this
@diosabella (4806)
16 Mar 17
I'm not sure what's wrong with it. Over affection is not a crime. Try to give the girl a chance. Maybe you will like her better once you known each other.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
I need more time. lol
21 Mar 17
@sol_cee Take all the time you need. Besides, sometimes social media can be a great help knowing this person.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
@diosabella I don't know but I think social media is all about pretentions. Jaded, yes I am.
1 person likes this
@ms1864 (6973)
• Bangalore, India
13 Mar 17
I would accept it if I was in your place. Give her a chance ....try to get to know her...maybe you might like her too.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
Hey long time no see.
1 person likes this
@ms1864 (6973)
• Bangalore, India
6 Apr 17
@sol_cee Hey! Yeah...I have been occupied. I do think i should try coming to mylot a little more often again. I will try.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
@ms1864 are you busy at work?
@SIMPLYD (86528)
• Philippines
22 Mar 17
Why on the first place you don't like her. Is she a snob? But your brother loves her though. So, you should accept her friend request.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
22 Mar 17
Should I?
1 person likes this
@SIMPLYD (86528)
• Philippines
23 Mar 17
@sol_cee In my opinion, yes. You can see from her posts some of her personality. You need not like, but just stalk.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
@SIMPLYD is that you rebelwoman?? Lol
1 person likes this
@TheSojourner (17291)
• United States
13 Mar 17
If you do not make the attempt to accept her as your brother's chosen one, it will cause issues later, especially with your brother. The Internet gives you an opportunity to be included, even not being there. But I know how difficult it is. I wish you the best and peace surrounding these changes in your family.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
Actually he hasn't talked to me in ages. Just kept on receiving his allowance.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Mar 17
@sol_cee That is a different twist. It is not easy, I know. I wish you the best, and I trust you will make the right decision for you.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
@CoralLevang hai. Thanks.
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (46105)
• Davao, Philippines
14 Mar 17
We have the same issue with my Brother's relationship. He is with a transgender. At first I don't like the idea then one day that transgender woman sent me a friend request, I don't like her in my friend's list. And hey, I just found myself chatting with her every now and then. She even call my mom, mama. See? Lol
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
Does he/she call you 'ate'?
1 person likes this
@JustBhem (46105)
• Davao, Philippines
21 Mar 17
@sol_cee Yes, and sometimes send me foods.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
@JustBhem aha! Bribing all the way to your heart. Lol
@ridingbet (61841)
• Philippines
13 Mar 17
throw further, reach the back of the gods. if i am sent a FB friend request, i would check if i know the person well but if she just wants to befriend me because she is the GF of my son, i would not accept her. 'ano, sipsip?' hahaha!
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
13 Mar 17
We have seven mutual friends- including my mom and other siblings. She's definitely reaching the back part. lol
2 people like this
@ridingbet (61841)
• Philippines
18 Mar 17
@sol_cee really? so, how is it going now?
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
18 Mar 17
@ridingbet Not yet.
@epiffanie (10447)
• Australia
1 Apr 17
I have friends request from people who brought me so much anguish ... I ignore them .. lol ..
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
How could they bring you so much anguish?
1 person likes this
@epiffanie (10447)
• Australia
11 Apr 17
@sol_cee they are related to me.. I share the same DNA with them .. and that brought me so much anguish .. .. lol ..
@salonga (27957)
• Philippines
21 Mar 17
If you don't really like here and you want her to feel that then ignore the request. Now, if you want to pretend you are friendly then accept but then you can unfollow her posts so you don't get to see all her posts.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
The song 'The Great Pretender' on the background. lol But great advice.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27957)
• Philippines
21 Mar 17
@bluesa (15242)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
14 Mar 17
Well...she has taken the first step in trying to get to know you. And if you accept her request you could finally find out what she is like for yourself and not just through photos. @sol_cee you could put your detective skills to use. :)
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
I forgot I am a detective! Thanks for reminding me. lol
1 person likes this
@bluesa (15242)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
21 Mar 17
@DianneN (92080)
• United States
13 Mar 17
I remember your post. I'm sure having a gf will not interfere with his studies. Accept her as a friend. She may be very nice.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
22 Mar 17
Thinking...
1 person likes this
@DianneN (92080)
• United States
22 Mar 17
@Tampa_girl7 (27557)
• United States
20 Mar 17
Perhaps she just wants to get to know you .
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
Her intentions must really be good. I wanna believe that.
@paigea (22675)
• Canada
14 Mar 17
I would probably accept it. One can always ignore her posts. I am not the right person to advise though. I almost never log into Facebook and have no idea what people are posting there.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
17 Mar 17
The prior post talked about waking up one morning seeing a cheesy photo of him and my brother on FB and my day was boom! ruined. Anyway, I'm reconsidering..
2 people like this
@jaboUK (55159)
• United Kingdom
14 Mar 17
I think you should accept her as part of the family, as it looks like your brother is serious about her.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
21 Mar 17
They are on their nth monthsarry. Whatever that is. lol
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (40244)
• United States
14 Mar 17
Since she may end up being your sister in law I would advise proceeding in a friendly manner, if they break up you can unfriend her.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
Yes ma'am. Sensible thing to do.
1 person likes this
@jstory07 (72438)
• Roseburg, Oregon
14 Mar 17
Be her friend on facebook.
1 person likes this
@sol_cee (18436)
• Japan
6 Apr 17
We are now, Judy-san.