You Have Got To Be Kidding!

@jujunme (2346)
United States
March 15, 2017 2:38pm CST
Now i know that both my brother in-law and his wife have lost their minds. they live in a very nice 3 bedroom apt 2 of the bedrooms are quite large and the other which is downstairs, is quite small and of course they occupy the largest one. Problem is, there are now 12 people living there, some for over 8 months to one year and you most likely may be asking yourself who these people, are so, in no particular order.. Their oldest daughter 28 and her husband 36 (on disability )and their 3 children ages 9, 13 and 14 Thei rnext to eldest daughter 25 and her 2 babies 1 year and 6 months old and lets not forget , her lazy worthless boyfriend also lives there then,last but not least their single 23 year old son who has had more jobs than you can shake a fist at.and is currently out of work. in fact the only one who DOES work is their 28 old daughter They were all taken in for one reason or another, evictions, loss of a job etc..... Every day my brother- in law calls my husband complaining that he wants them out , but no one is budging. they come up with one excuse after another. and because they are family they don't want to call the police. where it is likely they would be forced to leave. So now for the real kicker, my brother-in law and his wife are now thinking of MOVING out of their own home into a smaller apt, i find this incredible and shocking that this is the last resort in ridding themselves of this burden. so what i want to know is. what do you think of this arrangement and also what would you do in the same situation Update- My brother in-law 's oldest daughter , her husband and 3 daughters have found an apartment and are moving out on April 6th. now at least some of the financial burden has lessened so, both my brother-in-law and his wife won't be moving out of their home.
12 people like this
15 responses
@Hatley (159241)
• Garden Grove, California
15 Mar
Its time for tough love I would t ell them they just get jobs and support themselves within a given time, then call the police its time for tough love now.
4 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
They have been given way enough time to move out since most of them have been there 8 to 12 months. the oldest daughter also has a job and money saved and has only recently looked for a place. as i mentioned in my post , the last resort was calling the police which they have threatened to do , but because of the children involved they don't want to do this.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (159241)
• Garden Grove, California
16 Mar
@jujunme thats really a hard spot to be in
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
@Hatley it sure is.and what's worse is the bulk of the finances falls on my brother in law
@AmbiePam (46152)
• United States
15 Mar
That's pathetic. Now, are they keeping the original place with the new apartment? Or are they going to a smaller apartment only so no one else can fit? Because if it's the second one it sounds like my grandmother who lives next door to her son, my uncle. She owns both houses. She loves her house. However, she's so tired of doing every single thing for him (he calls her an average of 25 x a day for something), that she's selling her house and car. She's moving into an assisted living center with a tiny room just so he can't use her anymore, which included that sale of her car.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
That's the sad part, they are thinking of moving to a smaller apartment for exactly the reason you mentioned. and also for financial reasons , since all these people have moved in, the landlord raised the rent , and never mind the heating costs and water bills.it is PATHETIC I just can't believe they have let this go on for so long. Wow , your poor Grandmother, having to leave a home she loved and not only that, having to resort to live in conditions she can't possibly be used to. it' is more than shocking that a grown man like your uncle cares so little for a woman who has basically sacrificed her own peace and happiness taking care of him, i wonder what he'll do now that the can't sponge off her anymore. My heart goes out to her.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (46152)
• United States
16 Mar
@jujunme If only they could speak up for themselves.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
@AmbiePam Trouble is, both my brother-in law and his wife DO speak up for themselves every single day, but it falls on deaf ears or excuses [no work available,not enough money etc...)
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31340)
• United States
15 Mar
I think such a high number of occupants might be against the law. Have your BIL and his wife check out zoning ordinances in their area. They might be able to tell their relatives that they are breaking the law and will be evicted if they don't make them move out. This would be a good "out" and create no hard feelings, they could even have their landlord evict the unwanted occupants. I'm surprised the landlord hasn't already taken action.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
I am shocked the landlord took no action against them, what he did do was raise the rent and their water bill is much higher also their heating bill is through the roof and the only one who helps pay for this is their oldest daughter and her husband. but , that was after a huge argument. i guess the landlord doesn't care how many people live there as long as money is involved
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31340)
• United States
16 Mar
@jujunme If they are breaking the occupancy laws, which seems likely, the landlord can get a hefty fine or jail time for allowing it. The laws are made to protect people--I'm sure you know that many people in one residence are at risk for all kinds of health hazards and accidents!
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
@dragon54u I do agree with you, and i am so surprised that after all this time no actions were taken against the landlord. i also agree about the risks taken, especially since there are young children and babies living there. it seems to me the landlord is either unaware of the laws ( i find this impossible)or chooses to ignore them, since a lot of time has passed with no trouble for him.
1 person likes this
@Brittnyrose (1469)
• Aberdeen, North Carolina
16 Mar
I'm sorry but they would have to go and I'd do everything I can to make sure they found some were to go due to they have kids. But if it came down to it. I'd move out myself just like there thinking about doing. I'd tell them to Handel the apartment and pay the bills there. Then the sorry boyfriend's would have no choice but to get up and find a job. Sometimes you have to do what's best
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
.There is no way i would allow this to go on , especially since these are grown adults who every time were in trouble ran home to their parents, knowing full well they'd be taken in and what's worse is they contribute very little or nothing to the household expenses besides buying their own food. As far as help is concerned, my sister-in law has suggested a lot of places they may be able to rent , but, the excuse is they can't afford it . i don't know if i would move out of my own home , after 7 years living there but , when it comes down to it , they may have no choice.it's such a shame
• Aberdeen, North Carolina
17 Mar
@jujunme when I turnt 18 I had to get out my mom's house and I was a good child hehehe
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (16527)
• Canada
15 Mar
That's one way of getting rid of the hangers on. Time for some tough love.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
Aside from calling the police which they seem reluctant to do, i don't know what else they can do.
@marlina (62066)
• Canada
15 Mar
Your inlaws need to put their PANTS ON.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
I TOTALLY agree with you.
@boiboing (12525)
• Northampton, England
15 Mar
They are being seriously suckered by their kids.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
Without a doubt!
@sol_cee (13566)
• Japan
15 Mar
For the love of their children.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
These people are not children they're grown adults with children who they should be providing for that's what love is about
@sol_cee (13566)
• Japan
16 Mar
@jujunme Selfless parents they are.
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
@sol_cee i wouldn't say selfless, they are more like enablers and this can't be a good thing for any of them
• United States
16 Mar
I feel the kindness is being hugely taken advantage of and speaking up or getting out is what should happen, but leaving and moving to a smaller place seems like the wrong decision
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
The parents do speak up, almost every day there are arguments about them finding jobs or looking for places to live but, they make so many excuses or they pacify their parents by saying they are looking for work or an apartment. As far as their parents moving out, i do agree it's a bad decision and i hope they change their mind. why should they leave their own home after living there for 7 years.
• United States
16 Mar
@jujunme arguments indicate no one is actually listening nor using empathy to fix the situation
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
@enlightenedpsych2 They only have empathy for themselves i have never known more selfish people in my life.
@rusty2rusty (6746)
• Defiance, Ohio
24 Mar
If they move out will they continue to pay the utilities or make them pay them and rent too?
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
24 Mar
No, they would be giving up the apartment altogether. and it would be up to the kids to decide if they want to continue living there. The rent is not cheap(1,700mo)and mostly it would also be up to the landlord to decide if he wants to rent the apt to them or look for new tenants.and i would guess due to the many arguments they have had there, he would be looking elsewhere
1 person likes this
• Defiance, Ohio
24 Mar
@jujunme Did they talk to the landlord that they don't want them there but they won't leave? I had to do that with a sibling years ago. The landlord wrote a letter and handed it to them that they must leave within so many days. As they were not on the lease or rental agreement.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
24 Mar
@rusty2rusty Surprisingly all the landlord did was raise the rent and the water and heating bills, so no help from him either.i do believe he is breaking a few zoning ordinances , after all this is only a 3 bedroom apt and the risks of allowing that many people to live there is huge i guess all the landlord cares about is extra money . .
• Banks, Oregon
24 Mar
so sad, so hard to deal with family taking advantage, we have had people move in here without asking and we have had to tell them to go.
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
25 Mar
I can't tell you how many times they were told to leave. but the excuses continue , can't find work, apartments too expensive and the list goes on. so, i agree it is a very sad situation, especially the fact that one of the daughters has older children,9, 13 and 14 what kind of example are their parents setting for them?
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
25 Mar
BTW, Welcome to Mylot, i hope you enjoy it here
1 person likes this
@paigea (21188)
• Canada
16 Mar
Oh my. I can't imagine. I hope they find a solution!
1 person likes this
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
I hope they find one as well, it's getting to the ;point where there are very few solutions left.
@KristenH (20356)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
15 Mar
That's insane that they all live together in one place. Why can't they all get along?
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
16 Mar
My brother- in law is not worried about them getting along. (which they don't he just wants them to move out on their own.}
1 person likes this
@KristenH (20356)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
16 Mar
@jujunme okay, I hope they do someday.
1 person likes this
@KristenH (20356)
• Cuyahoga Falls, Ohio
16 Mar
@jujunme Oh okay. I hope they do someday.
@Courtlynn (50431)
• United States
30 Mar
I don't really see a problem with them sharing their house with their kids and grandkids.. the only thing i can see a problem with is only one of them having a job out of the two couples and the other adult child. And them wanting them out but not having the guts to tell them. I mean really.. Thats basically on them. Yes, Family is family. But don't complain if you aren't going to change things.
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
30 Mar
I wouldn't see the problem either if any of them,( besides the eldest daughter) contributed to the household expenses, except for buying their own food they all complain that if one isn't doing it, why should they As for having the guts to tell them to leave, this is an ongoing argument practically every single day.they come up with one excuse after another (no apartments available, no jobs available. and the only reason they won't call the police to force them out is because of the kids.
1 person likes this
@Courtlynn (50431)
• United States
30 Mar
@jujunme yeah thats a tough one. But gotta do something.
@nitsbubb (274)
• New Delhi, India
23 Mar
Looks like the people who are not working have lost their self-respect. Whatever action you take they will not evict. Either the non-working boyfriend should be kicked out asked to share some responsibility. Hope everything ends well.
@jujunme (2346)
• United States
23 Mar
You are correct and i totally agree with you. if it were me i would kick out the boyfriend as well. he doesn't do anything at all to help with expenses. Thank you i hope it ends well also