The Last You'll Hear From Oscar

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This it the last of Oscar's posts. Oscar, my fellow sheep, has now gone to Heaven where I'm sure there is no fly-strike and we won't need to be shorn. That would be Heaven to me. Anyway here is Oscar. Part III • If your master tries to upend you for some reason, spread all four feet out wide and stiffen your legs. This will give you a wide, stable base and make it very difficult for him to tip you up. Besides, he is probably as fat and old as you are so the odds are even (so to speak). • It is no good trying this with a slim, trim professional shearer. He is very experienced so you might as well give up and let him get on with it. It is possible to chew his singlet while he is shearing you though. • If they try to drench you, hold the drench in your mouth then spit it out. This will only work once though. If the drench doesn't taste too bad, best to swallow and save your trump card for one that tastes horrible. • If you are boss of the flock, it is great fun to stop in the middle of an open gate and not let any of the other sheep through. • If you get fly-blown, you are in serious trouble. Do everything you can to alert your humans to the fact that you need help. Bite at the affected part, run round in circles with your head down, twitch your tail, continually lay down and get up again. With luck, someone will notice your discomfort and clean and dress the fly-blown part. • There is only the two of us at the moment. When we are given small feeds in separate containers, I run frantically from one to the other and intimidate Herc till he stops even trying to eat. This mostly works but sometimes the mistress puts Herc in his own little yard. I'm sure she gives him more too. It's not fair. • If you're paddocked with a horse or pony and they are fed in a bin, just march in and share it. Nine times out of ten they will be so surprised they won't kick you out. The tenth time however you will need good reflexes and will need to take steps, long and often, to get out of danger. That is the end of Oscar's writings. The photo is of us after we've been shorn. Oscar is nearest the camera. We're tied up because, if we weren't, Oscar would be bunting me round the trailer and I wouldn't be able to get away from him. The mistress is so considerate sometimes. No wonder she has me eating out of her hand.