Fiction - short story - Bon Appetit - Part I

@JudyEv (73217)
Bunbury, Australia
March 19, 2017 8:32pm CST
I've entered a competition for a short story, up to 2,500 words, with a 'funny' theme. I've managed a 'highly commended' once before so I'm having another go. Jeff Moffitt @moffittjc was silly enough to ask if I was going to post the story. I thought I might do it in instalments but it's loses a bit when cut up so what I've done is condense it. Feel free to turn the page/move on if it doesn't appeal. BON APPETIT Some people are impulse buyers. They go out with a shopping list of ten items and come home with twenty. That's probably of little consequence but some impulsive buys have a much bigger impact. A friend of ours went to the city to finalise a house deal once and came home with a Jaguar. THAT had an impact on his life I can tell you. Not a particularly positive impact but an impact nonetheless. My spontaneous splurge was on a cookbook and this led to significant changes in my life. It was the best thing I ever did and changed the fabric of my existence really. I’d bought cookbooks before - dozens of them in fact. We’ve got a shelf full of them. Luckily they're out of reach on the top shelf. Cooking is not my forte. My forte is yet to appear but if it doesn’t hurry up and find me I may die never knowing what it is. But it isn’t cooking. One thing I have learnt – umpteen cookbooks do not a chef make. Like most young marrieds those days we didn’t have a lot of money so there was a fair bit of sausages and mince floating around. I remember once, I made Toad in the Hole. It looked pretty good to me but when I told Quentin what it was I thought he was going to die laughing. When he could speak he called it Turd in the Hole and set to with a vengeance. But I had another look at the fat, brown sausages poking out of this pancake type doughy stuff and couldn’t eat a mouthful. Later, I had a 'try out old recipes' phase. Have you ever tried to find shredded suet nowadays? I needed it for an 'old' recipe. When I told Quentin it was called 'spotted dick' I got a somewhat similar reaction to toad-in-the-hole except he had a mouthful of red wine when I told him the name. I suppose it is a bit 'off'. Sounds like some nasty disease. Spotted Dick. Good grief. © Judy Evans To be continued
22 people like this
15 responses
@bagarad (7001)
• Paso Robles, California
20 Mar
You made me laugh. Now I need to go to part 2.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
There will need to be probably 5 parts unless I make them quite big which really puts people off.
3 people like this
@bagarad (7001)
• Paso Robles, California
21 Mar
@JudyEv So did you finish it in Part 2?
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
@bagarad There are six parts all up. A total of around 2200 words.
2 people like this
@stbrians (9615)
• Kakamega, Kenya
20 Mar
Humor is great on this International Happiness Day. Give us some more
3 people like this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
It was a good day to post it wasn't it? :)
2 people like this
@stbrians (9615)
• Kakamega, Kenya
20 Mar
@JudyEv it was actually the best
3 people like this
@Tampa_girl7 (22278)
• United States
20 Mar
I wonder is the Toad in a Hole the same as a Pig in a Blanket ?
2 people like this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
I was going to say I'd never heard of Pig in a Blanket but aren't they small sausages wrapped in bacon? Toad in the Hole is sausages in a sort of Yorkshire pudding mix.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (15991)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
20 Mar
Oh how I laughed, turd in the hole is a classic ;) I hope your story nets a prize!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Thanks. I mostly only write comedy but it rarely rates highly in competitions. It's nice to have a comp that is strictly for comedy.
1 person likes this
@pgntwo (15991)
• Derry, Northern Ireland
23 Mar
@JudyEv I think the Edinburgh Fringe festival is all comedy, come to think of it. And some weirdness.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
23 Mar
@pgntwo Yes, Edinburgh Festival is comedy-based and we have comedy festivals here too but on an internet site, I think a funny piece has to be really good to be considered for a prize in a writing contest.
1 person likes this
@Morleyhunt (12698)
• Canada
20 Mar
now on to part two.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Hope it's not too boring. It seems very long now I'm having to split it up.
@Morleyhunt (12698)
• Canada
22 Mar
@JudyEv I was entertained and not bored. Splitting a story is always risky. I did a two parter once because it was simply too long...the first part was well received ....the second part disappeared with few people reading it. That made me hesitant to ever write another post that was a two part post.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
22 Mar
@Morleyhunt I've found that too. Anything with 'Part II' on it is destined for a poor response. However if Part I isn't read first, you just about to give all the info again so Part II can be understood.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (16353)
• India
20 Mar
@JudyEv I like the humor in the story.Waiting for the rest.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Thanks. I think I'll get them all up quite quickly so you don't lose track too much.
1 person likes this
@silvermist (16353)
• India
20 Mar
@JudyEv I have finished reading them all.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
@silvermist Thanks. That's kind of you. Fiction often isn't very popular here so I'm pleased people are moving on the next part.
@BelleStarr (24862)
• Portland, Connecticut
20 Mar
Off to a great start!! You hooked me.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
Thanks. I thought I commented here before but if I did, it's disappeared.
1 person likes this
@BelleStarr (24862)
• Portland, Connecticut
21 Mar
@JudyEv You did comment before, that is odd!!
1 person likes this
@Fleura (4500)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar
I take it your husband hadn't heard of those traditional favourites before! Off to part II now...
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Who said anything about my husband?
1 person likes this
@Fleura (4500)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar
@JudyEv Whoops, jumping to conclusions is always a bad idea!
1 person likes this
@RubyHawk (8410)
• Atlanta, Georgia
23 Mar
You can tell a funny story. I enjoyed the read. Good luck with the competition.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
23 Mar
Thanks very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
@PainsOnSlate (16265)
• Canada
21 Mar
I laughed out loud....thanks for the laugh and I hope you win. Good Grief is right.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
I'm glad you laughed and yes, it's a very strange name!
1 person likes this
@ChesneyM (6055)
21 Mar
very well written here. (I collected cookbooks before, but after figuring out that those book didn't make me a better cook, I have stopped buying them. Sad!)
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
Thank you. I have SO many cookbooks it's just crazy. And I rarely ever open them.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
20 Mar
Delightful, so far. I look forward to more.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Thanks. I'm pleased you enjoyed it. :)
1 person likes this
@Jessicalynnt (46359)
• Centralia, Missouri
20 Mar
so far, pretty funny
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Thanks. With luck, I'll make you spurt your coffee before you finish.
@sueznewz2 (7289)
• Alicante, Spain
20 Mar
Good luck with the contest.... it sounds good from this starter page....
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Thanks. This lady puts up the competition each year.
@TRBRocks420 (42176)
• Banks, Oregon
20 Mar
Hmm very odd and, weird lol.
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (73217)
• Bunbury, Australia
20 Mar
Some of the names are a bit weird, aren't they?