I need to tell you about my sister.
March 20, 2017 3:21pm CST
Why do I need to tell you about my sister? Well, because she ties into the ongoing saga with my grandmother (80) and my uncle (60). A lot of you are familiar with the relationship between me and Mindy (my sister). I have wanted to be friends, best friends, since I was a child. She never really wanted that, and since she's got somewhat of a cold personality, it's easy to feel rejected. Because, well, she does actually reject me a lot. My dad once told me to stop doing things for her because she was never going to be nice to me back. However, it's unfair of me to think she doesn't measure up, because I probably don't measure up to what she wants as a sister. I've had to let that wish for closeness go, and just let things happen. Well, she's gotten drawn into the drama of my grandmother moving into an assisted living facility to get away from my uncle, who lived in side by side houses. My Nana is too old and ill to deal with him, and finally since she couldn't tell him no, she needed to go somewhere else (she went straight from being in the hospital for a week to the assisted facility (so far, she's not happy, missing her home). There are some really good things about my sister. She's determined, and she's persistent, and she won't stop until the task at hand is finished, and there will be no doubt, that if she does it, she WILL do it well. She's a perfectionist, but tries to be fair, and when it comes down to it, if a family member needed something, really really needed it, she's come through. I would have liked some support during the time my mom (from ages 46-55) suffered from dementia, and I helped my dad. I've come to realize she just didn't want to have to deal with her pain, let alone ours. So why do I feel the need to inform you. Like I said, she's been drawn into this family saga, and I've actually talked to her several times (instead of just texting which she's always preferred) in the past couple of weeks (she called me). It would be too long to explain in this post what has happened, so I'll go into that later on. Thanks for reading. Feel free to talk about your family dramas.
12 people like this
• United States
I know your post is about your sister , but i can't seem to get your Grandmother out of my mind how unhappy she must be living in that place. but, i am interested in knowing how she ties in to all this , also i wish your Grandmother would place her anger where it belongs, on your uncle
• United States
She's actually starting to help, but my grandmother seems to be taking some anger she has for her son out on my sister. But my sister and my grandmother are a lot alike, and I think that's why they are clashing. My grandmother put her in charge of some things, and Mindy is doing them, but apparently not the way my grandmother wanted.
• United States
I feel sad that sister didn't help you and your dad more. How do you feel about her being involved in this current drama? Are you happy to hear from her on the phone? Or is it making it tougher? Ah as for my own family? Early part of last year '16 was tough. Both my parents had huge health crisis. Of course extended family remained distant. But that's alright. Cousin and aunt did come to visit a couple of times. A lot for them. However Christmas rolls around (we had been invited years previous) - and - no card, no explanation, simply uninvited. I was really disappointed.
• United States
That's not right. Family health situations I would make people closer. I'm so sorry that is how they responded. My biggest problem with my sister not helping with my mom more was that she never called me. If she had just called and asked me how I was doing, if I needed to talk...that's all I wanted. It didn't help that when I asked my dad why he didn't ask her for help he replied, "Someone in our family should be happy."
I see some similarities between your sister and mine... My sister is also a perfectionist, very determined, persistent, and consistent with what she puts her mind into. And how I can relate to her 'cold personality'. There's absolutely no dramas with my sister, she says everything bluntly just as how things are to her. She's the only sibling I have and we are very close in age, but we spend majority of our lives living far away from each other. Frankly, I think the distance is what helps us maintaining a close relationship.
I somehow can relate, but in the opposite position. Meaning, in my family, I am the distant sister among the siblings. I feel awkward dealing with family issues. Gladly so far nothing big happened. I might need to take your post as reference later.
• Lakewood, Colorado
I can understand this Ambie. I am sorry also that it is like this for you as well..even though you have accepted it, you are aware of the lack. If I started talking about my family here..it would be a novel, so the only thing I will say is that I also have a sister that is very detached and is in all respects a sociopath. Well need I go on. She is not close to anybody and thats that. Once I understood this, it was easier for me to dismiss her..totally burned that bridge and not regretting it.