I need to tell you about my sister.

@AmbiePam (43085)
United States
March 20, 2017 3:21pm CST
Why do I need to tell you about my sister? Well, because she ties into the ongoing saga with my grandmother (80) and my uncle (60). A lot of you are familiar with the relationship between me and Mindy (my sister). I have wanted to be friends, best friends, since I was a child. She never really wanted that, and since she's got somewhat of a cold personality, it's easy to feel rejected. Because, well, she does actually reject me a lot. My dad once told me to stop doing things for her because she was never going to be nice to me back. However, it's unfair of me to think she doesn't measure up, because I probably don't measure up to what she wants as a sister. I've had to let that wish for closeness go, and just let things happen. Well, she's gotten drawn into the drama of my grandmother moving into an assisted living facility to get away from my uncle, who lived in side by side houses. My Nana is too old and ill to deal with him, and finally since she couldn't tell him no, she needed to go somewhere else (she went straight from being in the hospital for a week to the assisted facility (so far, she's not happy, missing her home). There are some really good things about my sister. She's determined, and she's persistent, and she won't stop until the task at hand is finished, and there will be no doubt, that if she does it, she WILL do it well. She's a perfectionist, but tries to be fair, and when it comes down to it, if a family member needed something, really really needed it, she's come through. I would have liked some support during the time my mom (from ages 46-55) suffered from dementia, and I helped my dad. I've come to realize she just didn't want to have to deal with her pain, let alone ours. So why do I feel the need to inform you. Like I said, she's been drawn into this family saga, and I've actually talked to her several times (instead of just texting which she's always preferred) in the past couple of weeks (she called me). It would be too long to explain in this post what has happened, so I'll go into that later on. Thanks for reading. Feel free to talk about your family dramas.
16 people like this
17 responses
@jaboUK (46521)
• United Kingdom
20 Mar
I remember you telling us about the way your uncle expected your nana to do everything for him. I'll be interested to learn what your sister is up to.
4 people like this
@katsmeow1213 (27809)
• United States
20 Mar
Ugh, these tiny tidbits are driving me crazy! I want to hear all about it.. every last detail! I don't care if it's a novel.. I want to know!!!
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
21 Mar
I think you're in the minority! A lot of people hate long posts. I actually don't mind, but I guess if someone is trying to make as much money as possible, and get through the site as fast as possible, long posts can be tiresome.
3 people like this
• United States
21 Mar
@AmbiePam I generally do not like long posts, but if it's interesting I will read it. I am very interested in all this drama with your grandmother.. so I'd read it!
2 people like this
@jujunme (2046)
• United States
21 Mar
@AmbiePam I agree that some long posts are tiresome , but not in your case , as you can see from the replies here.
2 people like this
@JudyEv (77783)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
I guess if your sister comes through when you really need her, then that is something to be very thankful for.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
21 Mar
Yes. I would love to be closer, but maybe letting her come to me, even if it takes years, will be best in the long run. Right now she needs an ear, and I'm more than willing to listen.
3 people like this
@JudyEv (77783)
• Bunbury, Australia
21 Mar
@AmbiePam That's good. I guess she isn't going to change much.
2 people like this
@jujunme (2046)
• United States
21 Mar
I know your post is about your sister , but i can't seem to get your Grandmother out of my mind how unhappy she must be living in that place. but, i am interested in knowing how she ties in to all this , also i wish your Grandmother would place her anger where it belongs, on your uncle
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
21 Mar
Me too.
2 people like this
@Juliaacv (14499)
• Canada
20 Mar
That is a shame, she needs to respect your grandmother's wishes and step aside.
3 people like this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
20 Mar
She's actually starting to help, but my grandmother seems to be taking some anger she has for her son out on my sister. But my sister and my grandmother are a lot alike, and I think that's why they are clashing. My grandmother put her in charge of some things, and Mindy is doing them, but apparently not the way my grandmother wanted.
3 people like this
@sishy7 (20375)
• Australia
21 Mar
I see some similarities between your sister and mine... My sister is also a perfectionist, very determined, persistent, and consistent with what she puts her mind into. And how I can relate to her 'cold personality'. There's absolutely no dramas with my sister, she says everything bluntly just as how things are to her. She's the only sibling I have and we are very close in age, but we spend majority of our lives living far away from each other. Frankly, I think the distance is what helps us maintaining a close relationship.
3 people like this
@BelleStarr (25824)
• Portland, Connecticut
21 Mar
Okay I'm hooked I will need to know what her part is in all of this.
3 people like this
@TRBRocks420 (45176)
• Banks, Oregon
20 Mar
Hope something good comes along for your Grandma she deserves a lot better.
3 people like this
@FayeHazel (5512)
• United States
21 Mar
I feel sad that sister didn't help you and your dad more. How do you feel about her being involved in this current drama? Are you happy to hear from her on the phone? Or is it making it tougher? Ah as for my own family? Early part of last year '16 was tough. Both my parents had huge health crisis. Of course extended family remained distant. But that's alright. Cousin and aunt did come to visit a couple of times. A lot for them. However Christmas rolls around (we had been invited years previous) - and - no card, no explanation, simply uninvited. I was really disappointed.
2 people like this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
22 Mar
That's not right. Family health situations I would make people closer. I'm so sorry that is how they responded. My biggest problem with my sister not helping with my mom more was that she never called me. If she had just called and asked me how I was doing, if I needed to talk...that's all I wanted. It didn't help that when I asked my dad why he didn't ask her for help he replied, "Someone in our family should be happy."
1 person likes this
@snowy22315 (22098)
• United States
20 Mar
Families can be trying.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
22 Mar
I somehow can relate, but in the opposite position. Meaning, in my family, I am the distant sister among the siblings. I feel awkward dealing with family issues. Gladly so far nothing big happened. I might need to take your post as reference later.
1 person likes this
@AmbiePam (43085)
• United States
22 Mar
Oh, I hope you can make some inroads with them again. I bet they would like to be closer to you. Sometimes family members want to reach out, but feel they might be rejected.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
22 Mar
@AmbiePam Yeah, maybe someday. It was so considerate of you to not blindly judge your sister.
1 person likes this
@OreoBrownie (2972)
• Winder, Georgia
7 Apr
Maybe she has turned a corner.
1 person likes this
@GardenGerty (82154)
• Marion, Kansas
31 Mar
You are a great person, not to hang on to bitterness and resentment but to let go. I remember the hurt you often felt at your sister. I shall be interested to read more of her involvement and the progress that is being made.
1 person likes this
@much2say (29104)
• United States
31 Mar
Well, even though your sister has been drawn into the family saga, perhaps since she is being more communicative now, maybe just maybe she will open up to you more. Some people just don't know how to be close or it takes them a super long time. I don't know how she fits into the situation yet, but I hope it's all in a good way, especially for your grandmother.
1 person likes this
@Fishmomma (10134)
• United States
24 Mar
No family drama here; however, as I get older realize there are less things I can do now. I'm aware there could come a time that moving into a place with less yard work will happen.
1 person likes this
@salonga (27120)
• Philippines
21 Mar
Right, go and tell your sister and hope her reaction will be positive.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Mar
I can understand this Ambie. I am sorry also that it is like this for you as well..even though you have accepted it, you are aware of the lack. If I started talking about my family here..it would be a novel, so the only thing I will say is that I also have a sister that is very detached and is in all respects a sociopath. Well need I go on. She is not close to anybody and thats that. Once I understood this, it was easier for me to dismiss her..totally burned that bridge and not regretting it.
1 person likes this