Why would this be any part of not racist?

@Jackalyn (6657)
Oxford, England
March 27, 2017 4:13am CST
I am white caucasian. A black lady sitting opposite me at the dinner table at a gathering wants my phone number. Then she takes a picture of me to go beside the number on my phone saying, "All you white people look the same to me!" Now, if I had done that to her?
15 people like this
16 responses
@Fleura (7198)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 17
Yes of course it is, but as with everything some forms of racism are more acceptable than others!
4 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
No. Racism is never acceptable whatever culture you come from.
3 people like this
@Fleura (7198)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 17
@Jackalyn I can't help thinking that some of the things people make such a fuss of here being politically correct, is just normal elsewhere. For example to look at a 'coloured' (and aren't we all some sort of colour?) person the wrong way in Britain is offensive and racist, but you can bet that if you, as a white person, visited somewhere like rural Vietnam or Malawi or any place where 'white' people are not so common, you would be stared at, followed about and commented on.
5 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
@Fleura I have lived in other cultures and often been that person. However, when therevI respected and took care not to offend the people of that culture If you visit my country and live in it, then you do not have a right to use terms or say things that would be not br offensive in yours, just because of where you come from. Of course, mistakes can be made, but I have found people who continue to speak as if it is their right not to respect my culture. The assumption is often that as a white person I cannot experience racism or discrimination. We do. Nor can people assume a God given right to insult my country or ethnic origin because of the past. Whatever country you are in, you respect it.
3 people like this
@Daljinder (21194)
• India
27 Mar 17
Personally, going by her words, yes but if the tone and intent are taken into account then depends.
4 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
No! However it was done it is an offensive remark. You cannot excuse it. If I cannot do it without it offending her culture she cannot do it to mine. This is the point I am making. Racism can be experienced whatever culture you are from and is not acceptable one way and not the other.
4 people like this
@Fleura (7198)
• United Kingdom
27 Mar 17
@Jackalyn You should have said something like 'Oh how funny, I never have any trouble telling people apart no matter what colour skin they have'; maybe it might have made her think twice. Was she a local person or had she recently come from somewhere different?
3 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
@Fleura No she wasn"t local. However, she had a position where she should have known better. It would not have been offensive just to take the photo. It was the remark that is offensivevwhen speaking about any culture.
3 people like this
@owlwings (39073)
• Cambridge, England
27 Mar 17
I agree that it would be considered rude - but, I think, not really 'racist' in the way I understand the term - if you had said that to her. In your position, I might have smiled in a friendly manner and said "I know what you mean, I have the same trouble with you Jamaicans" (knowing that she was clearly not from there) ... but then I'm wicked like that!
4 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
2 Apr 17
Ah but there you go you see. I have Jamaican blood in the family. You cannot assume anything. All Jamaicans do not look alike to me. I recognise my son in law and grandson.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
3 Apr 17
@owlwings It is interesting though how we assume things. I have no idea if she was African or Jamaican. I get asked if I am my grandson's childminder which really makes me mad. It is very possible to upset a British born black person asking what country they are from here. There is no easy way around this.
1 person likes this
• United States
27 Mar 17
@Jackalyn Yup! That is racism at it's best!
4 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Mar 17
Nah, racism bothers me the most when it's "institutional." Or when threats are involved. Stuff like what that lady said wouldn't bother me that much.
3 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
28 Mar 17
@TheHorse It was the lack of understanding that got to me.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
28 Mar 17
@Jackalyn You sure she wasn't trying to be funny?
2 people like this
27 Mar 17
She wasn't having a little joke was she? I'm really good at joking but the joke coming out very seriously, so the humour gets lost if you don't know me well. If not, then yes. Racism. I'm unsure why it is that people assume racism only exists when it's aimed at black people.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
28 Mar 17
That's what I thought too.
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
28 Mar 17
She was not joking. She just thought it fine to say it.
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
4 Apr 17
Unfortunately not.
@JudyEv (121037)
• Bunbury, Australia
27 Mar 17
I'd never say it to anyone but my husband but I find Asians difficult to distinguish one from another. I'd never, ever say it to someone.
3 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
Actually, there is research showing we do find it easiest to distinguish people from our own cultural background.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Mar 17
@Jackalyn Wouldn't it also depend on who was around us when we were growing up?
3 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
@TheHorse Yes. Most of us relate best to those who nurture us. I learmed when I ran preschool that children settled bestvwith someone who looked like mum or primary carer.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (74680)
• Canada
27 Mar 17
Wow I would have been offended by that! It happens all the time though no matter the race.
3 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
29 Mar 17
I think that people who are comfortable with race tend to make jokes about it. But that tends to be with close friends.
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (20234)
• Canada
27 Mar 17
Wow, that's very rude....I would take my number back...
3 people like this
@nanette64 (17470)
• Fairfield, Texas
27 Mar 17
Oh my God!! Seriously????? See, it's not the WHITE people causing racism, is it @Jackalyn !!
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
It cuts all ways.
2 people like this
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Mar 17
Couldn't it be a joke with that line we have heard so often?
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
28 Mar 17
@JamesHxstatic It was not. It could have been in a different context.
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (59833)
• Philippines
27 Mar 17
I had also experienced this before. I confronted the person and it is foul to discriminate people while working in an international NGO. I guess this person doesn't like Asian people.
2 people like this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
29 Mar 17
What did they say?
1 person likes this
@Shavkat (59833)
• Philippines
31 Mar 17
@TheHorse They kept in silence and apologized about it.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
31 Mar 17
@Shavkat Glad they apologized.
1 person likes this
@msiduri (5754)
• United States
27 Mar 17
When I worked in a pharmacy, most of the people were Asian. Being Caucasian, I was often the stand out. It was never a problem for me. One customer, though, tried to get in touch with one employee but couldn't remember the person's name. The person she flagged down was tall (...relatively speaking) and thin. The person she wanted to speak with was shorter and a little chubby. I wondered how she could have confused these two people. Also, once when I was out walking in the same shopping center, a customer addressed me by another employee's name. I was surprised. The other employee was full-blood Navajo and I didn't think we looked at all alike. Even when I told the customer I wasn't who she thought I was, she said, "I believe you, but looking at you, I'd swear you were her." That being said, I am a bit of a smarty pants. If the woman who made the comment to you had made it me, I might have responded with a comment to the effect of, "If that's the case, maybe you should get out more."
2 people like this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
27 Mar 17
Believe me I had to bite my tongue.
1 person likes this
@msiduri (5754)
• United States
27 Mar 17
@Jackalyn I understand.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
27 Mar 17
Why did she want your number? Maybe she was making a joke.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Mar 17
I think so too.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
28 Mar 17
@JamesHxstatic Bummer. She hasn't gotten to our "joke" inquiries yet. I want video!
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
29 Mar 17
@TheHorse Me too!
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Mar 17
She could well have been making a joke with that line. I think it is funny.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
29 Mar 17
I agree. As I said elsewhere, I want to see all the nonverbal cues, know the context, etc.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
4 Apr 17
@TheHorse This was at a Christian conference on rhe Pastors table.
1 person likes this
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
4 Apr 17
@Jackalyn Will you ever see her again?
• Bournemouth, England
28 Mar 17
I suspect that she was being ironic and saying something to a white person that other white people often say about minority ethnic people. Unfortunately the humour is completely lost when the person she directed her comment at is not racist themselves and would not say such a thing.
1 person likes this
• Eugene, Oregon
28 Mar 17
Yes! It probably was a joke.
@TheHorse (63646)
• Pleasant Hill, California
28 Mar 17
No, I think the humor would be more appreciated by someone who is not racist. If a black African said that to me, with a twinkle in his eye, I'd laugh with him and we'd probably wind up having a conversation about moving to new places and adjusting to the culture.
1 person likes this
@Jackalyn (6657)
• Oxford, England
28 Mar 17
@TheHorse The thing I am getting at is there is sometimes no joke and no twinkle. I get told "we say that." The implication is one of entitlement.
@RubyHawk (23280)
• Atlanta, Georgia
28 Mar 17
I'm sure she wouldn't like it. it sounds raciest.
1 person likes this
• Banks, Oregon
27 Mar 17
It irks me when people say things like that about any race, i have heard it about all races though and it's just not true... how rude.
1 person likes this