An attractive look

By Faye
@FayeHazel (40250)
United States
April 2, 2017 12:19pm CST
So, as I was writing my other post about how people dress, I realized something.  Usually I dress fairly presentably, a touch of make up, recently showered and clean hair.  And I feel like I blend in.  I don't particularly stand out in public and men (yes, I pay attention to them as I am a single woman) - don't really notice me - which is fine.  But I noticed something odd recently.  Sometimes when I'm out in public it simply doesn't work out for me to put myself together first.  Maybe I need to get gas or go to the pharmacy or grocery store directly after cleaning, or after working in the garden.  In such cases my hair is a mess, I may not have make up on at all, or what little is there is smudged over my face, and in the case of coming from gardening I may be physically dirty - in the literal with smudges of actual dirt on me.  And in these cases - men seem nicer to me.  Going out of their way to talk to me or open the door. Anyway it isn't what I expected and wondered if anyone has any insight on this.  I am really more comfortable going out cleanly showered and in non-dirty clothes, so I'm not too anxious to exploit this.  It's weird because as women we are told that to attract a man we need to dress classy - not provocatively. However one only needs to do a quick glance around in public to see it is the more provocatively dressed women who get the attention. However in my particular case it seems like dressing messy works the best. Ha! Photo: Me ! I tried looking for a photo of me from gardening or looking dirty but it would seem that I don't commemorate those times with photos much.
25 people like this
27 responses
@Courtlynn (67002)
• United States
2 Apr 17
I dont get what attracts men. As not every man is the same to what he likes. Some like women in barely nothing, while others like women in sweats. Im guessing the same when it comes to women looking "dirty" maybe it shows them that you're a women who gets up and does things instead of lounging around all the time. I dont know. But love the top in the picture
5 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks! My usual / non-working "look". Good thought, maybe they're not attracted so much to the appearance, as they are to what it suggests.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (116876)
• Anniston, Alabama
2 Apr 17
I have no idea, Sometimes men pay attention me to and other times they don`t. Or maybe I dont care and they see that... who knows these things..... MEN..... ask the men here.
5 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Lol, so far the guys on here have been pretty helpful
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
2 Apr 17
Men like women for what they naturally are or at least for most, forget the farce that men would care for every small and minute details that women often worry or panic so much about. Men would go after the naturals for long time relations or partners not unless there are other things they are after.
2 people like this
@louievill (28859)
• Philippines
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel same thing I did not fall for the" make up" woman, most popular college icon in the campus when I was younger, I preferred the homely, simple, church going type sort of beauty
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@louievill You are wise - there is a beauty to those plainer type people - that transcends physical
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
You offer a good point - on the reverse side - I imagine it's like how I, personally, am not drawn to the muscle-man / gym rat look. While I can admire how much work that must take - my concern is that because they must spend so much time to look so fit, is there any real depth to them?
1 person likes this
@PainsOnSlate (21854)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
Men are interested in personality more than looks. I can understand why they are more comfortable with a real woman, not a movie star... Just be yourself...
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Hm, good point there too maybe I'm more relaxed when grubby
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (323672)
• Rockingham, Australia
3 Apr 17
I sometimes wonder if men feel 'safer' and less threatened if you're not dressed to the nines. More comfortable that you're not out to snare them. But there are plenty of times when they're attracted to the well-dressed people too so I don't know how it works.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
It's so strange like that... I can't seem to figure it. But good observation.
1 person likes this
@Ronrybs (17788)
• London, England
2 Apr 17
It has been years since I worried about fashion or style. I settle for comfortable, even if the clothes have seen better days
2 people like this
@Ronrybs (17788)
• London, England
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel For sure, I've got some solid looking hiking shoes. They are just the job for shopping or canal side walks
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@Ronrybs Because it's so true - if your feet aren't comfortable, the rest of you isn't , either.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
I have finally accepted that with shoes.... pass up the cool looking shoes in favor of comfort.
1 person likes this
@Nawsheen (28644)
• Mauritius
3 Apr 17
Thats a nice picture. I guess men prefers women who are natural and not artificial ones like those who wear too much makeup. I am telling this from experience. Once i walking with a friend and there was this girl who was wearing make up and my friend told me how he prefers girls who look natural.
1 person likes this
@Nawsheen (28644)
• Mauritius
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel i guess most guys think alike
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks! Interesting, come to think on this, I have a male friend -- just a friend -- and he has said similar.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@Nawsheen Group think maybe? Lol or no...
1 person likes this
@besweet (9431)
• Greece
2 Apr 17
I like your colorful top in the picture. I think that men appreciate the natural beauty. Maybe you also have a different spirit when you go out unprepared. Do you think that it could be you who is different and they can see this new side of you? I also go to the local store with my homewear sometimes, I am thinking that it's a quick visit so why should I change? I just wear a coat on top and my training shoes.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9431)
• Greece
4 Apr 17
@FayeHazel People can look very attractive when they do something they enjoy. When you do your gardening, maybe you show a different sparkle and they recognise it!
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks! The top is a favorite, so cool in summer. I think you might have a point there, maybe it is my attitude that is different, though I can't think how. ... I'm more in a hurry, more focused on what I'm doing... I agree with you though, if it's only a quick trip no need to change. :-)
1 person likes this
@just4him (303392)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
3 Apr 17
It's interesting what attracts attention. Perhaps the real you was coming out, versus the made up one that tries to look like you always have it together. Very nice photo.
1 person likes this
@just4him (303392)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel Your 'usual' look is very nice.
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Good point, now that you mention - last year was rough for me and many times I had to be out and about with an hour or 2 sleep - didn't care what I looked like then, either... and sure enough.... hmmm, maybe I'm not as reserved or polished is the thing. Thanks! That's my "usual" look.
1 person likes this
@paigea (35511)
• Canada
2 Apr 17
Maybe we look more approachable when we are messy or look like we have been working?
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Oh good point, maybe it looks like we have a good work ethic or aren't afraid to get our hands dirty
@paigea (35511)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel Yes, some men think women are too high maintenance. lol
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@paigea So true there, but then some men are high maintenance.
1 person likes this
@teamfreak16 (43451)
• Denver, Colorado
2 Apr 17
Cool shirt! I wouldn't garden in it by any means.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks! I couldn't find a picture of me, grubby from gardening (apparently I avoid photos?) -- this is what I typically look / dress like when I'm not doing outdoor work. :-)
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99426)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
Nice picture of you. I love the shirt that you are wearing! I want it!!
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (99426)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel The coloring is beautiful and so summery!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Aw thanks! I love this top, even though I have to layer with it. The colors are fun. It was from a Deb store several years ago :-)
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@Happy2BeMe I love the colors in the top - it was hard to believe it came from a sale rack... why someone else didn't snap it up.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (53601)
2 Apr 17
Those men are seeing something special about you regardless of the smudge. I can't say if it would work with me because I won't be caught out in public with a smudge that I am aware of.
2 people like this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Lol, I know, I prefer to go out non-dirty, too. That's why it confuses me. But I think you're right - must be something else they're drawn to
@diosabella (4789)
3 Apr 17
According to a guy friend of mine, they like girls that could dress nice, girly, sophisticated and exude confidence but they could also shy away from this when too much because he said this kind of girls might be high maintenance and crush his b@lls. And he also said that unkept hair as long as clean was kind of irresistible for him, more relax to look at means easier to talk too.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
@diosabella Lol, adorable... ah I don't do that look too well tho. :-)
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Ah I had to smile at your friend's wording there, but it is understandable... he makes a good point. Thanks for sharing
1 person likes this
3 Apr 17
@FayeHazel Oh and he use the word adorable too. I'm imagining a cuddly bear.
1 person likes this
@shaggin (71573)
• United States
3 Apr 17
I love the top you are wearing in your photo. I can't figure out why men would treat you so differently when you are dirty compared to when you are clean. Maybe they feel like you are having a tough day if you are it and are dirty so they want to cheer you up by being kind...That's all I can come up with.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Hm, that's interesting too. Maybe they are being polite to someone who's been working.... ? People can be nice after all
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (45125)
• Canada
3 Apr 17
Very nice picture! You look very tall. How tall are you?
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thank you! I'm 5' 7" or 170.18 cm - slightly above average.
1 person likes this
@averygirl72 (37544)
• Philippines
3 Apr 17
That's a nice photo. I wonder why men like dressing messy.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks! I wonder, too
• Philippines
3 Apr 17
This picture doesn't look like you went gardening These days I tried my best to avoid looking at pretty women with looks or how good they wear because I dont want to accuse of being a pervert or something. But there are times I couldn't help just take a quick look and then move on.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
True! I couldn't find one of my "gardening" look, ha ha, apparently I avoid pictures at those times. This is how I typically look for casual days out.... Oh as for women dressed up? I don't think anyone would say you're pervert, -- no one blames you for looking, even I look and I have no interest - that way- in women.
@Tampa_girl7 (48855)
• United States
2 Apr 17
Over the years I have gotten lots of compliments on my hair and oddly it seems to happen more when I am in need of a shampooing. very odd
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Hmm, maybe it's something to do with your hair texture? I know mine changes a lot from freshly washed to dirty.
• Eugene, Oregon
3 Apr 17
I suppose that is a woman looks a bit like she has been grubbing in the dirt and had to run to the store, my empathy might prompt me to extra polite. I generally open doors for women anyway. Good photo!
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (40250)
• United States
3 Apr 17
Thanks for being one of the few chivalrous men still out there. :-) Anyway, good point, maybe I just look tired from doing a day's work.
1 person likes this