My mother

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My mom and I have a complicated relationship, we drive each other crazy and we often disagree and there are just some things I can't talk to her about because she doesn't get it, but despite her flaws, I can't think of another woman I would have rather had as a mother. I could have had wealthier parents, I could have had a nicer house growing up, I could have had a lot of things that I didn't have growing up had I had a different mother. I could have had a college education if I had a mother who could have afforded to pay for it. Here's the thing though, none of that matters at the end of the day. I had a mother who fought for me. I had a mother who cared and believed in me. I had a mother who gave everything she had to raise me. She wasn't/isn't perfect, she was/is flawed but she did her best. I know I disappoint her on a regular basis but I also know there is no one on this earth that loves me more than my mother. I know that she gave up a lot in order to make sure I had everything I needed. I know that she still gives of herself for me. I know that I don't always show her how much I appreciate her because it's something that has always been hard but everything good in me is because of her. She raised me with love. She gets frustrated with me because she doesn't understand and I know she probably wishes she could understand me but to be fair I don't always understand me. My mother is the only person that has never given up on me. She believes in me when I can't believe in myself. She sometimes has too much faith in me and my abilities. She is the first to tell me how smart I am and how beautiful I am even though I've always disagreed with her on both but she has never stopped telling me. My mother is the person who taught me how to be a mother. Her children have always come first. She has 7 of us and each of us feel as though we are loved. She has always made sure we know how much she loves us. I wish I could show her how much I appreciate her. If I had the money I'd make sure she had everything she gave up for me and more. I didn't have everything given to me but I know that she tried her best to give us what she could. I didn't always treat her the way she deserved growing up. I've noticed the kids who grow up poor have more appreciation for their parents than a lot of those who grow up with money because our parents gave us love not just things. We learned to appreciate what we had more. We knew and understood the sacrifices our parents made for us. At least a lot of us. Not everyone is as lucky and I know that. All of the money in the world can't buy you love and appreciation those are things you have to learn from people. You learn to love by being showed what love is. I may not have had everything I wanted but I had everything I needed and I had more love than I knew what to do with from my mother alone. She wished she could have given us more but she did the best she could and that's all I could have ever asked for. If I were to ever be asked who my hero is, I'd say my mother without even having to think. My relationship with her may be complicated in a lot of ways but there's not a single person I admire more, well maybe apart from my son. My mother has taught me how to be a mother. There was seldom a day of my childhood that I didn't hear my mother tell me she loved me. There is nothing she loves more than her children. I know we annoy and disappoint her from time to time and I know we frustrate her but her love has always been unwavering. I'm only sad that not every person gets to know this kind of love. I didn't have everything growing up but I had everything that mattered. I didn't always feel understood but I understood that I was loved and while my mom might not always agree or necessarily support me I knew she'd be there when I really needed her and I knew she loved me. I remember how difficult it was for my mom when she couldn't be there for me when I had my son. She had just had surgery and wasn't allowed to leave the nursing home where she was for rehab. She was so anxious and was worried and it hurt her not being there. She is the kind of mother that wants to be there for her children. I was told that out of all 7 of us that I'm the most like her and I consider that a compliment. If I'm even half the mother that my mom was/is to me then I figure I'm doing a pretty good job. I am not perfect, I'm far from it but I know that my mother loves me for who I am and that there's nothing I could do that would make her stop loving me and that's something that money can't buy. I wasn't blessed into a family with money but I was blessed with something so much better a family that had one of the best mothers a kid could ask for.