A 'FAMILY' AFFAIR.

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@Kandae11 (34855)
April 10, 2017 10:04am CST
I was talking to a friend of mine recently, and the trend of our conversation reminded me of the story of three persons who lived in my neighborhood during my teenage years. This threesome was made up of a man - who I shall call Mr. X -- his wife, and the girlfriend of Mr.X - she lived just ten minutes away from the family home. Mrs. X was aware of her husband's infidelity, but appeared to be accepting of it - except on those occasions when she happened to meet the girlfriend in public. Then it was obvious by the rude words exchanged and the fist fights -- which occurred on two occasions - that she was really unhappy about her situation. About a year into the illicit relationship, Mr.X decided to migrate with his family to another country, and his wife was undoubtedly very happy when she heard of his plan -- after all, this was her opportunity to be rid of the unwanted 'family' member. That relief was short lived however, because Mr. X did not leave his girlfriend behind. She migrated as well and took up residence once again not too far from the family home. Now, how should we classify Mrs X ? Is she a woman so blinded by love that she will accept every indignity heaped upon her by her husband? . Of course - acceptance doesn't necessarily mean love - she probably hates him. What are your thoughts? Would you accept your husband - or wife's infidelity?
29 people like this
30 responses
@hostessman (8832)
• Tucson, Arizona
10 Apr 17
i would classify Mrs X as a fool,,,,she needs to dump Mr, X and move on with her life
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
I think she allowed it to get out of hand by not putting her foot down from day one.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (61488)
• India
11 Apr 17
Things should have been nipped in the bud. The wife will have to live with it. It is too late now.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
I think so too. It would be difficult to make a move now - unless she is very determined and has a strong character.
1 person likes this
@allknowing (61488)
• India
11 Apr 17
@Kandae11 If she had a strong character the situation would not have come this far.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
@allknowing She would have to develop one if she wants to get out of it. Some people can surprise even themselves when they are pushed too hard.
1 person likes this
@cabhay (365)
• India
11 Apr 17
Being in love doesn't mean that you support your partner in wrong situations and decisions also. Its about someone's respect...if a person have extra marital affair and than too your are mum and staying with that person it clearly means ignoring and downsizing your self esteem. (No Offense) :)
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
You are perfectly right - Mrs X obviously has low self esteem. Who knows - she may be even thinking that she is getting what she deserves?.I can't help wondering sometimes how those three are coping since migrating.
@cabhay (365)
• India
11 Apr 17
@Kandae11 Seriously...Marriage doesn't only mean to support your better half in every situation but it also means to correct them when they are wrong! She should have stood for herself from the time when she came to know about his affair. No one can decide what we deserve in life until we give them the right to do so. Their life must have become miserable after migrating!
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
@cabhay Well said.
@prinzcy (5063)
• Malaysia
10 Apr 17
If a man can't be loyal, I would leave him. I won't accept infidelity and just be blind to it. Life is too short so I need to find my happiness, even without him.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
She has to be a very unhappy woman.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56109)
• Delhi, India
11 Apr 17
@prinzcy You seem very bold but everyone is not like you.
1 person likes this
@prinzcy (5063)
• Malaysia
11 Apr 17
@dpk262006 I'm not bold, I just stand up for myself. I think lots of woman here are the same.
2 people like this
@manasamanu (3759)
• Bangalore, India
10 Apr 17
Mrs.X is such a fool that she carved every way to her husband's girlfriend. She must leave him and just move on. If she still loves her husband then she must fight for what is hers and throw away the girlfriend from their life.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
She is probably thinking that she will lose him completely if she made a fuss.
1 person likes this
• Bangalore, India
10 Apr 17
@Kandae11 If then she should just let go off him and move on with her life. Fighting for something that's not worth of her is silly.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
@manasamanu You are right of course.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (14444)
• India
18 Apr 17
It may not have been easy for her to move out.Personally I'd have gone out long ago. Sometimes when the kids are young I've seen people stick it out but once they grow up they move out.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
18 Apr 17
She was unhappy, but her will wasn't strong enough to make the effort.
1 person likes this
• India
19 Apr 17
@bluesa (13430)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
11 Apr 17
@Kandae11 , I would not accept that. Maybe she relied on her husband financially or blindly loves him, either way she is in a terrible situation.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
12 Apr 17
She was a stay at home mum and he the breadwinner.
1 person likes this
@bluesa (13430)
• Johannesburg, South Africa
12 Apr 17
@Kandae11 and there is I think the answer for her trying to turn a blind eye. She needs him financially.
@just4him (109615)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
11 Apr 17
No, it would not be tolerated. I don't know why she put up with it.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
12 Apr 17
Not much self respect there I would say.
1 person likes this
@just4him (109615)
• Green Bay, Wisconsin
12 Apr 17
@Kandae11 None at all.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56109)
• Delhi, India
11 Apr 17
It would not have been easy for Mrs X to accept the circumstances and she probably would have always felt distressed. One link is missing in your story i.e. how come Mr. X's girl friend came to know about their plans and how come she could afford to migrate to same station along with that couple? Did she know their plans in advance?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
It would seem Mr. X's girlfriend knew about it even before his wife. You may not be aware of it - but some men confide and tell things to their girlfriends or mistresses that they never tell their wives. As to the migration - Mr. X was not a poor man - and moving between the islands is easy for some.
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56109)
• Delhi, India
12 Apr 17
@Kandae11 If his girl friend knew before hand, then what would have been the purpose of moving from one place to another place because situation different changed at the new place.
@Gillygirl (17269)
• Sutton, England
10 Apr 17
I would boot him out.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
I would take my chances and do the same.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (17269)
• Sutton, England
10 Apr 17
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (16269)
• United States
10 Apr 17
Hm, I would rather they told me, upfront that they wanted to see someone. I think what would hurt the most is being played for a fool. It is too bad about those people you mentioned. I think the wife should have confronted the husband, before confronting the girlfriend...
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
The girlfriend is always the main target. Yes, I think she allowed it to get out of hand.
1 person likes this
@FayeHazel (16269)
• United States
11 Apr 17
@Kandae11 It's a pity....
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (21017)
• India
10 Apr 17
I don't know what the details are behind the scene. So, can't comment on Mrs. X. For me personally, I would have been long gone from the situation.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
10 Apr 17
One of the problems she would face if she went that route is that she was unemployed and probably thinking of the children as well. I would have found a way out of it though.
1 person likes this
@Daljinder (21017)
• India
11 Apr 17
@Kandae11 Many like her do that and end up damaging their as well as children's psyhe on some levels.
@jaboUK (53412)
• United Kingdom
12 Apr 17
No way would I stand for that.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
12 Apr 17
I can't imagine living that way.
1 person likes this
@GreatMartin (4307)
• Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
11 Apr 17
Of course I would--but I wouldn't settle for less than what I want as Mrs. X is so obviously doing.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
You mean you would accept the continued infidelity or you would forgive the guilty party with the expectation that it won't happen again?
@Nawsheen (22942)
• Mauritius
11 Apr 17
Does she really love Mr X. Or is she is just staying him for the sake of being called his wife. Well if it was for me I would walk away from that relationship. Living with someone who you know is cheating on you is not easy. Maybe Mrs X is staying with Mr X for the sake of their children
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
12 Apr 17
Yes, the children could be the main reason why she is putting up with it.
1 person likes this
@tzwrites (4567)
• Romania
11 Apr 17
I would not be okay with such a situation. I think the woman should have more self-respect in such situations and divorce.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
I think she is really trapped now. It would be harder to make a break, now that they are in another country.
@shaggin (36287)
• United States
11 Apr 17
I would not put up with it. Maybe she allows him to have this sort of open relationship or whatever you want to call it. I think it's awfully that someone could hurt two women this way and awful that the girlfriend knows he is married and did this anyway.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
That is a good point - the girlfriend has no self respect either - hanging on to a married couple. Shameless!
1 person likes this
@JudyEv (118536)
• Bunbury, Australia
11 Apr 17
My sister stayed with her husband for quite some years before she finally found the courage to leave. She said if she'd known how easy it was to get work (at the time) she would have left years earlier. She cleaned houses and phone boxes as she wasn't really skilled in anything in particular although she was very intelligent. Some women wouldn't find it easy to cope on their own. I don't think they all stay with an unfaithful partner because they want to.
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
Mrs X was obviously not strong willed enough.You are right - some women will find it difficult to cope on their own.
1 person likes this
• Trinidad And Tobago
11 Apr 17
People's circumstances are always different. The wife doesn't seem to be blinded by love...but more by practicality. Perhaps she weigh the balance and found the glass to be half full. What is the alternative if she did left him? It seems he already set up house elsewhere.How might I respond? HMM, let see...some cement in his coffee?
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
She is probably too blinded to do that.
@bunnybon7 (35436)
• Holiday, Florida
11 Apr 17
not at all. i never did in 4 of my 5 marriages. lol. the last man always treated me with respect unlike the 4 looser before
1 person likes this
@Kandae11 (34855)
11 Apr 17
Five marriages! - very interesting. In my first and only marriage, I married an abuser - so that was it for me.
1 person likes this