I last saw my dad seven years ago

By Gill
@Gillygirl (16789)
Sutton, England
April 13, 2017 12:38pm CST
I have been feeling very raw today. I last saw my dad seven years ago today. Some mylotters know he had dementia in later life. I was told by a doctor that his death was imminent. My mum and I sat with him for hours. He was sleeping most of the time. He did wake up and gripped my hand to the point where it hurt. I didn't care and he didn't want to let go. I'll never forget the way he looked at me. It was an expression of horror. I'm sure he knew the end was near and he was trying to fight back. At 3:15am the next morning I woke suddenly. Ten minutes later I received a phone call telling me he had gone. The photo is of my mum, dad who is holding my daughter and me in my garden. They were happy days. Sorry I'm not my usual self.
30 people like this
25 responses
@Kandae11 (33744)
13 Apr 17
Losing a loved one is always sad - and that empty feeling remains forever.
5 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
I seem to be feeling it more this year.
3 people like this
@Kandae11 (33744)
13 Apr 17
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 17
I understand how you are feeling. My mother's birthday was about five days ago and she's been gone for about seven years as well... sometimes the grief just hits you out of nowhere and stops you in your tracks.
4 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
Birthdays can be hard too.
2 people like this
@andriaperry (43885)
• United States
13 Apr 17
Its okay, I understand more than you know. I have been dreaming about my day the past week, I recall two dreams.
3 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
Do you mean what I think you mean?
2 people like this
@andriaperry (43885)
• United States
14 Apr 17
@Gillygirl Yes I meant dad, lol.
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
@andriaperry I dream about my parents at times. The dreams seem so real.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 17
I feel your pain my friend. I know that one day I will suffer the same loss. Mom is slipping slowly away from us. This disease is horrible. Big hugs to you lady.
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
Thank you I am sorry to hear about your mum.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Apr 17
@Gillygirl we will see her tomorrow. The nursing home is sponsoring an Easter Egg Hunt. She loves to see her great-granddaughter. It brings a smile to her face.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
@ElusiveButterfly That is good of the nursing home. Little ones can cheer patients up. I hope you all have a good day.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 17
We all slip down memory lane where we spend time remembering and crying. I lived 850 miles from my parents and I didn't make it back to NJ in time for either. In a way I am glad I didn't have to see them go, and I can remember them both the last time I saw them alive. Take your time and do what you need to do.
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
Sometimes memory lane can help. I prefer to remember both mine as they were in the photo. They lived a ten minute walk away from me.
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Apr 17
@Gillygirl I lived two miles from my parents most of my adult life...Until we moved south.
2 people like this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
@AbbyGreenhill Do you find living in the South very different?
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
17 Apr 17
That is very understandable. You must have loved him very much and its a lovely photo.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
17 Apr 17
Thank you Sue, I did very much.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
17 Apr 17
@lovinangelsinstead21 To lose a sibling and niece as well a your mum must have been difficult.
1 person likes this
• Pamplona, Spain
18 Apr 17
@Gillygirl Last one I lost was one of my Nieces and I had not seen her in years and even now when I go back on Facebook its hard not to remember her.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (24980)
• Canada
15 Apr 17
Belated condolences Gil on the loss of your dad! I guess the pain never goes away. May God continue to give you strength!
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
15 Apr 17
Thank you, time heals and memories help. Anniversaries are still painful. I don't know if they become less raw.
1 person likes this
@1hopefulman (24980)
• Canada
16 Apr 17
@Gillygirl Yes, time helps somewhat but not completely!
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
16 Apr 17
@1hopefulman No I don't think it completely goes away.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (24384)
• United States
14 Apr 17
I am so sorry that you went through this. It is just the cruelest disease. My dad has vascular dementia and my mama has Alzheimer's. it's a nightmare sometimes.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
It must be very difficult for you.
1 person likes this
@Tampa_girl7 (24384)
• United States
14 Apr 17
@Gillygirl some days are better than others. There are a good many of us on Mylot that are in the same situation. I know you know what it's like and it is a comfort to have support here from fellow Mylotters.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
@Tampa_girl7 Yes the members on here are very supportive and I read many posts showing appreciation.
1 person likes this
@Sun7788 (261)
• Changzhou, China
14 Apr 17
I lost my two relatives during these two years, I can understand your feeling, all we can do is to cherich the fond recollections and lead an active life.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
It is awful to lose any loved ones but as you say we must cherish the good times.
1 person likes this
@Sun7788 (261)
• Changzhou, China
17 Apr 17
@Gillygirl Yeah, learn to love, honour and cherish the living around you
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
17 Apr 17
@Happy2BeMe (72139)
• Canada
13 Apr 17
I am so sorry. The anniversary of their deaths are always difficult no matter how many years pass. Nice photos. It is the happy time and the beautiful memories that get you through the difficult times.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
13 Apr 17
Thanks Lauren, I have been going through old photos today.
1 person likes this
@Happy2BeMe (72139)
• Canada
13 Apr 17
@Gillygirl awww that is nice. I hope you find comfort in it.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
@Happy2BeMe Yes I do thanks.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (44083)
• Philippines
15 Apr 17
i am so sorry for your loss. my mother's life in heaven anniversary will be on June 13;she left us 8 years ago. i miss them both, father and mother.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
15 Apr 17
Time heals but those anniversary dates are still very painful.
1 person likes this
@ridingbet (44083)
• Philippines
17 Apr 17
@Gillygirl yes and they seem to be actually embedded in our hearts.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (71784)
• United States
14 Apr 17
I understand and send you big hugs. Losing loved ones is never easy.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
Thank you Dianne.
1 person likes this
@DianneN (71784)
• United States
14 Apr 17
@Gillygirl You're welcome.
1 person likes this
@responsiveme (14225)
• India
25 Apr 17
I am truly sorry, it's so hard seeing our parents growing old. That is a lovely picture...You must be having so many precious memories.So in that way I believe that the people we love are always with us.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
25 Apr 17
Thank you I agree that memories ensure a person is always with us.
1 person likes this
@garymarsh6 (13097)
• United Kingdom
23 Apr 17
It is a wicked evil illness Gill. He is at last at peace. I have witnessed many patients dying. I am sure that locked deep inside the person is still aware of what is going on. Nothing you can really say to take away the pain. Just remember him with fondness and all the happy times!
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
23 Apr 17
Thank you Gary.
@BelleStarr (36179)
• Portland, Connecticut
17 Apr 17
II am sending you a hug, as it turns out, today is the day I lost my dad 33 years ago. IN some ways it seems forever and in others it is very much like yesterday and I am tearing up thinking abut it. I was with him as were all my siblings and my mom when he left us.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
17 Apr 17
Hugs sent back to you. These anniversaries are very difficult.
1 person likes this
@OreoBrownie (3483)
• Elberton, Georgia
15 Apr 17
I'm so sorry for your loss. I have early dementia and I worry about the days that are to come when I won't know my daughter. I lose words and can't speak at times. I'm sorry you feel raw today. I can understand it.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
15 Apr 17
I am sorry to hear you have this condition. Do you have medication to control it?
14 Apr 17
That's a lovely photo. A very good captured snapshot of a natural moment in time. *huggles*
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
Thank you Elizabeth. That was back in 1992. The garden was a higgledy piggledy style. I preferred it that way.
@FayeHazel (15199)
• United States
14 Apr 17
That's alright , Gill. It is a sad memory. I'm sure he knew you love him though. What a nice picture. Thanks for sharing and I will hope that you feel some comfort
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
Thank you. The garden looks very different nowadays. That part has been grassed over.
• Trinidad And Tobago
14 Apr 17
Sorry for your loss. it's always hart to lose those close to us, even if it is not sudden. I am sure your Dad loves you very much. Keep strong.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
Thank you, I feel a little better now.
@JudyEv (116340)
• Bunbury, Australia
14 Apr 17
That's very sad. I'm so sorry.
1 person likes this
@Gillygirl (16789)
• Sutton, England
14 Apr 17
I guess it's almost certain our parents go first. To lose a child would be unbearable.
1 person likes this